


You Had Me at Yellow

by zzamolodchikova



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Art School, Boston, F/F, Falling In Love, Getting to Know Each Other, Katya is 23, Lesbians, Multi, Secrets, trixie is 20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:09:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 54,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23460757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzamolodchikova/pseuds/zzamolodchikova
Summary: What Trixie didn't know that within a month she would know there was nothing basic about this girl whose name started with a K.
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 54
Kudos: 64





	1. Silence of the Ducks

Pink.

Cotton candy.

Sweet sugary smells.

Cupcakes.

Lollipops.

Ducks.

Ducks?

An annoying sound.

No..

No!

The annoying sound on Trixie's phone woke her up from her sweet dreams. She groaned and turned off the alarm and was relieved she didn't have to listen to the quacking anymore. She hated her alarm sound with every cell in her body but somehow she never managed to change it into a more bearable sound. Maybe the 'old phone' would be good. No. That was her ringtone she would get confused. She decided to change the ducks away forever. She opened her phone by putting in her four number code, not trusting this face recognition or finger print shit that everyone thought was so cool, and went straight to settings. Finding the sounds she pressed the first one listening to it for a second before trying another one. And another one. By the time Trixie had been trough all of the sounds not knowing which one to pick she could hear heavy breathing near her.

"Trixie.." 

Trixie turned around her mouth having fallen open.

"Oh my gosh Dela I'm so sorry!" Trixie pleaded as she sat up on her knees and looking at her friend who didn't look pleased at all.

"Why on EARTH are you listening to those? And why do you keep your volume so high?" Dela groaned covering her face and turning around walking to the kitchen.

"Well I finally wanted to get rid of that quacking sound.. My alarm. I can't stand it." Trixie said close behind her friend.

"Oh right. The ducks. Silence of the ducks." Dela chucked a bit as she opened the fridge pulling out some orange juice. 

Trixie laughed and sat down on the white kitchen counter.

"Indeed."

"So you are coming to school today?" Dela asked as she poured both of them a glass of juice.

"Yeah. That's the plan." Trixie answered taking the glass and taking a sip. "I find it really funny that they asked me to come when there's only a month left of school."

"Well don't you think it's better that you get to come in now rather than wait the whole summer? You get to and see what it's like and what kind of people there are. It's easier to start the new school year when you know where you are going and with who."

Trixie sighed and smiled. She struggled with anxiety and meeting new people was sometimes really hard for her. However she had decided that in this new city and school she would just do it, like all those Nike commercials always suggested. Trixie thought it was stupid but she always admired people who were really outgoing and extroverted. She wished she was more like that.

"Hello.. Earth to Trixie." Dela called after noticing her friend had drifted into her thoughts once again.

"Yeah sorry.. Just thought about meeting so many new people."

"Trixie don't worry. The first day is the difficult one but then it's over. It's like ripping the bandage. Just gotta dive in the deep end. But you know how to swim so you will do just fine." Dela reassured her blonde friend.

"Yeah I guess so. Thanks Dela." Trixie said smiling, hopping of the counter. 

"Okay now I'm gonna steal the bathroom because I'm faster at showering than you. So you make a good breakfast and pick out a nice outfit-"

"Dela you don't have to mother me. Just go already." Trixie laughed a bit before giving her friend a small slap on the ass and pushing her out of the kitchen.

Trixie had known Dela her whole life. Their mothers were good friends and arranged playdates for the two girls. They had met at the hospital while in labor. Dela was only a few hours older than Trixie however they did not share the same birthday as Dela was born very late at a Wednesday night. Growing up Dela's mother worked at a bakery so she often had really early mornings or late nights and on those nights Dela got to spend nights over at Trixie's house. They grew up together, started school together, went through puberty together, got drunk together for the first time stealing wine from Dela's mother. They even practiced kissing on each other. They were both curios of their own sexualities and explored together because frankly both of them were too scared to share this with anyone else. These was never anything romantic between them, they had discussed about it and promised each other if some feelings came they would talk about it but most importantly they would always stay best friends no matter what.

"I hate you." Dela called before she disappeared from the kitchen.

"And I love you." Trixie called.

"I love you too." Dela laughed and closed herself into the bathroom.

Trixie walked back to the living room and sighed at the sight in front of her. She had been sleeping on Dela's couch for the past two weeks, her clothes hanging from the pole of the curtains, lamps, doorknobs. Trixie didn't plan to crash here forever, no way, and even though Dela was her sister she would kick her out at some point. Trixie had been working weekends at a small ice-cream shack, The Davis', run by a middle-aged couple. Trixie only knew the woman's name, Kasha and she always referred to her husband as Mr Davis. Trixie didn't question their way to talk about each other but accepted these names and terms as her own. The couple was extremely kind and trusting with Trixie. She felt so at home whenever she spent time with them.

There were a few other girls working there as well. Dela obviously (she was the one who got Trixie the job when she heard she was moving to Boston), Shangela, Adore, Morgan, Kim and someone named Kathy or Katie who Trixie had never met yet. Trixie had worked probably the most with Shangela and Kim and the three of them had hung out together with Dela. Adore always worked evenings because of her high energy. She seemed a bit maniac at times but Trixie didn't feel uncomfortable with her. Then there was Morgan who seemed really cold and bitchy at first but when Trixie had talked with her she had learned she was extremely kind and generous with people. This new girl was still a mystery to Trixie since she had never met her. She was usually really good with names but this time she had no clue. She knew it started with a K, but that was it. Probably something basic, Trixie had thought to herself.

What Trixie didn't know that within a month she would know there was nothing basic about this girl whose name started with a K.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! this is my first time writing trixie and katya and yay i'm so excited to let my creative mind running.  
> pls note that english is not my first language or that i'm not familiar with the US schooling system so there may be some inaccuracies but hey i'm just a human. i hope you enjoy this first chapter, more is coming soon i promise ;)  
> also i'm new here so clearly i don't know how to use this but i'll get the hang of it oh my..


	2. Something There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> x+u=25? x must be 15 because U sure are a 10 !!! ;)))

Trixie hated being late. Hated it! Dela had woken her up, asking if she had already started skipping classes and Trixie was confused until her eyes gazed upon the clock on the wall.

9:07.

Shit.

Trixie pushed herself off the couch not even bothered to tell Dela she had slept in because she was sure the other girl noticed her panic and there was no need or time for explanations. Trixie ran to the bathroom pulling her hair on a high ponytail and quickly smearing some makeup on before pulling out her favorite yellow dress, some pantyhose and her oversized light blue denim jacket. She quickly put on her brand new white Converse, grabbed her pink backpack and ran out the door.

Trixie cursed herself and wondered how on earth had her alarm not went off. Or had she just slept through it, hitting it silent when it did ring. She rolled her eyes and pulled her phone out of her pocket.

9:21.

Trixie was a little amazed how fast she had gotten ready. Sure her makeup wasn't as on point as it used to be and her hair was a little ruffled but she didn't look bad. As she was taking quick steps down the sidewalk she was grateful that Dela's apartment was so close to school. It only took her 5 minutes to get to there and she was now wandering the halls trying to find her classroom for math. Finally finding the room she walked in and immediately all eyes were on her.

"Uh I'm so sorry I'm late, my alarm never went off.." Trixie panted a little bit and played with the sleeves of her jacket.

"It's all right Ms..?"

"Mattel. Trixie."

"Well Ms Mattel it's alright." The teacher spoke. "We've gotten the theory down and everyone's doing the assignments now. You can take a seat here and I'll go get a copy for you."

The teacher motioned at a seat right in the front and Trixie smiled awkwardly taking a seat there. She preferred to sit at the back or in the middle but she didn't want to make the teacher hate her so she sat down next to another girl who smiled at her.

"Did you really sleep in?" The girl next to her asked as Trixie put down her backpack and took off her jacket.

"What?" Trixie asked, locking eyes with the girl.

"Did you really just wake up like 10 minutes ago?" The girl said.

"Well.." Trixie started and broke their eye contact to look at the time.

9:28

"It's been more like 21 minutes but yeah.. Why?" Trixie asked.

The girl huffed and shook her head making her short blonde hair sway a little together with the bangs on her forehead. She shrugged and her black cropped t-shirt rose just a few inches but it was enough to expose her flat and toned stomach. She was wearing black high waisted jeans with some Doc Martens and a golden necklace paired with a weird eyeball jewelry decorated her long neck. She was wearing red lipstick and her white teeth popped as she smiled. She lifted her gaze and looked Trixie in the eyes. 

"Well I refuse to believe that you woke up _21 minutes_ ago and look this gorgeous. You must be an angel or some shit." 

Trixie felt an instant blush creep to her cheeks but luckily the sound of heels distracted the both of them. The teacher walked back in and coming over to Trixie giving her the fresh paper copy of the assignments.

"These are mostly basic calculations but there are a few more complicated ones in there so if you need help with them just ask." The teacher said with a soft voice.

"Thank you Mrs DuJour." Trixie smiled.

The teacher walked back to her desk and Trixie was grateful she had remembered her name correctly. It would've been terrible to come in late AND forget the teachers name. Trixie pulled out her pink pencils and started doing the assignments. Trixie was average at math and she had no trouble going through the tasks on the paper even though she had missed the beginning of the class that included the theory part. The class was calm and for the most part pretty quiet. Mrs DuJour allowed some talking but she did charm in a few times when it got too loud. Trixie liked the environment of this class.

At times she felt the eyes of the girl next to her on her body but whenever Trixie looked back at this blonde haired petite girl she looked down at her paper. It felt surprisingly nice that someone was watching her. She felt good and even a little hot about it especially when the girl who was looking at her was very attractive. Trixie had only heard a few words from her but her voice was soft a little hoarse though, maybe from smoking, Trixie had thought. Trixie wasn't much of a smoker. She had done it a few times when she had been partying and drinking with friends but it just wasn't for her. She wouldn't mind if the girl next to her smoked. Trixie could imagine her smoking outside, smiling enjoying the sun and moving her fit body, the muscles on her arms moving slightly as she'd lift the cigarette to her lips. Her red lips.

Oh God. Trixie needed to focus. She shouldn't be thinking about this girl, not that way, not right now anyway. Trixie scanned the next assignment and sighed. It looked difficult and Trixie had no clue what to do with this one. She tried to start somewhere, but ended up erasing whatever she had written because she knew that she wasn't going in the right direction. There was some laughter at the back of the class that wasn't helping Trixie concentrate. Trixie sighed and looked at the clock. 

10:09.

Class would end in six minutes and Trixie knew if she didn't ask for help on this one she wouldn't get it done by herself. But because the class was nearly over Trixie didn't want to disturb the teacher who was already packing up her calendar and books into her green bag. Trixie sighed and looked at her paper once again.

"You on the last assignment?"

Trixie looked up at the girl next to her and shook her head as she sighed again.

"Uh no, but it's one of the harder ones." Trixie said sounding a bit desperate, there was no way she knew how to do this.

To Trixie's surprise the girl scooted closer and took the pink pencil from Trixie's manicured hands. 

"Okay so this is what you need to do." The girl started and wrote a equation down circling the numbers from the text and drawing arrows on what to do once the equation was done.

Trixie smiled and looked at this girl, trying to listen to her and pay as much attention as she could, but her red lips were really distracting now that they were moving.

The girl looked at Trixie and smiled a little. "You think you got it from here?"

Trixie nodded rapidly and the girl smiled even wider.

"I have these really good notes for these type of assignments if you wanna borrow it?"

"That would be great, thank you!" Trixie beamed and the girl pulled out a sheet of paper. She took out her own pencil now and added something to the paper.

"I added a quick equation at the end as a reminder." 

Trixie smiled at this girl and thanked her again as she handed over the notes. The bell rang and Trixie started packing away her things. The volume of the room was immediately higher than before. People were talking laughing and walking out of the class and yelling to their friends to wait up. A group of three girls and two boys walked past Trixie laughing loudly and giving her weird looks. Trixie frowned as they stopped right by her side.

"Nice underwear grandma." One of the boys said.

Trixie didn't understand what was going on until she felt one of the girls pull her bra and let it go so it snapped against her back. Trixie winced and both her hands went to her back. Her dress was completely open on the back only the small button at the top holding it on her body. Trixie panicked and she wasn't able to say anything as she tried to find the zipper and close her dress but failed. She had left in such a hurry this morning she had only popped the top button close before pulling her jacket on and running out the door. Trixie panicked more as the group only laughed and pointed at her and walked off talking about it loudly on the hallway. 

"Trixie are you alright?" Mrs DuJour asked walking toward her.

"Yeah I'm fine." Trixie replied while pulling her jacket on. She then got up took her stuff and ran out the door. She felt eyes on her as people talked about it, people talking about her underwear. It was just a plain white, yeah okay maybe a little worn out but still a basic bra. Trixie felt tears rising to her eyes as she pushed the door open and escaped out of the building. She walked out of sigh and dropped her backpack to the ground as she reached around the corner. She crouched down and covered her eyes with her hands.

She heard her name being called and wanted to just disappear. She huffed and was about to yell at whoever was coming after her to make more mockery of her. As a pair of Doc Martens and black jeans came to Trixie's view she looked up and saw the girl from her class. She looked down at her, smiling a bit looking apologetic but there was no pity in her eyes.

"You okay?" She asked and held out a hand to Trixie.

Trixie looked up and hesitated for a moment before grabbing her hand and letting her pull her up back to her feet.

"Yeah, well no.. But whatever, it happened." Trixie mumbled as she wiped a few tears away.

"Well it shouldn't have." The girl said.

Trixie only smiled a bit and shrugged. She didn't have anything to say at this moment. She was too upset. The girl in front of her pulled out a pack of cigarettes and held the box to Trixie. Trixie shook her head and watched as the other girl pulled one out and placed it between her lips. The girl cursed as her lighter was running on its last moments but eventually she got the cigarette lit. She took a breath in and let the smoke out the cigarette now stained with red lipstick. 

"You sure you don't want one?" The girl asked trying to find Trixie's eyes.

Trixie looked up at her and thought for a moment before shaking her head. "Fuck it, yeah I'll have one."

"Attagirl.." The girl said and took a step closer giving Trixie a cigarette and holding up her lighter.

"Damn piece of crap." The girl cursed again as the lighter didn't cooperate. "Here."

The girl stepped closer and Trixie's back was now against the wall. She took Trixie's hands and brought them up with her own. Trixie's heart started to beat faster as the girl inched even closer. She moved Trixie's hands cupping them a little bit before placing her own hands at the same position.

"Now inhale." She said softly the cigarette between her lips. She reached her head a bit forward and pulled Trixie closer by her hands so the tip of their cigarettes were touching.

Trixie held her hands up, feeling a sensation as their hands touched. She inhaled and coughed a bit as she felt the smoke reach her throat.

"Not a regular smoker I see." The girl said grinning a bit before she backed away a few steps.

Trixie immediately missed the warmth of the other girls body but she took a drag and shook her head.

"Well no.. I only do it sometimes when I'm drunk." 

"Ha that is how I started too. Look at me now, smoking two packs a week." The girl wheezed.

Trixie chuckled a bit. They smoked in silence until Trixie took one final drag out of the cigarette before dumping it on the ground. She pulled out a piece of gum out of her backpack and offered one as well to the girl but she shook her head. 

"I can't have sugar." The girl said and Trixie though she was funny.

Trixie laughed but shook her head as the other girl was silent. Trixie opened her mouth to say something but the girl in front of her just laughed.

"I'm just kidding." She laughed. "But truly too much sugar aint good for me."

"You smoke what, six cigarettes a day but won't take a little piece of gum that has barely some sugar in it?" 

"Oh no mama, I do what I want. If I want sugar I take it." The girl said placing her hands on her hips trying to be serious but wheezed out a laugh seconds later. "Uh yeah, no, I actually can't have too much sugar or I'll go really crazy and I've already had three RedBulls today so.."

Trixie's mouth fell open and the piece of gum she had just popped in almost fell out. "Three?" 

"Yeah. Why?"

"You are crazy. Like actually batshit fucking crazy. It's barely even 10:30 in the morning!"

"Well I told you." The girl said and shrugged.

"I can't believe you smoke and drink a million energy drinks and look like that." Trixie said and motioned towards the girls body her eyes scanning her fairly fit frame. "I hate you."

The girl laughed and took a step closer. "Oh no I think you like me."

Trixie held her breath as she felt the girls eyes roaming her body. Before either of them could say anything they could hear the bell ring once again.

"Well uh, thanks for the cigarette and you know, this little moment." Trixie chuckled a bit suddenly feeling really nervous.

"Yeah, anytime. I liked this little moment too." The girl said smiling mirroring Trixie's words.

"Okay.. See you around." Trixie said smiling before taking a step to leave but a soft hand was on her wrist before she could take another step.

"Wait."

"What?"

"Well don't you want me to help you with the.." The girl said moving her hands behind her back.

"Oh! Yeah right.. Well could you?" Trixie tilted her head feeling like such a loser with her zipper situation.

"Well duh I asked didn't I."

"Shut up." Trixie said and stepped back to where she was standing before. She took her jacket off and turned around. 

Trixie felt how the girl stepped close once again and how her hands lingered above her tailbone before dragging the zipper up. Trixie knew it was now closed but when she felt her so close to her she couldn't move. She felt her hands and breath on her neck. The smoke of cigarettes lingered in the air and Trixie closed her eyes. She then felt the girls hands on her shoulders as she patted her twice before stepping away from her.

"All done." She said quietly and Trixie moved around looking at the girl grinning at her.

"What now?" Trixie asked.

"Nothing."

"Whatever.." Trixie rolled her eyes as the other girl chuckled and started to walk off.

"Well Trixie, I'll see you around." The girl said stuffing her hands in her backpackers as she stepped on a rock.

"Yeah you too.." Trixie lingered and the girl noticed.

"Katya."

"Katya.. Yeah I'll see you around." Trixie said and chuckled as she noticed Katya grinned when Trixie had said her name.

When Trixie got home later that day she sighed and sat down on the couch. The rest of her classes were boring but time went by surprisingly quickly because Trixie kept repeating the interaction with Katya both in class and then outside. Trixie smiled and felt a little tingle in her stomach when she thought of Katya. Katya. Trixie had kept repeating her name because she liked the way it rolled of her tongue. Trixie chuckled a bit and pulled out her books and started working with her math equations. She wanted to succeed in them and then be able to tell Katya it was all because of her and her notes. 

Trixie smiled as her eyes scanned the paper in front of her. Katya's handwriting was petite and really neat. Her eyes followed the arrows and conclusion marks the other girl had marked on her paper. Trixie took out the notes Katya had given her. She read every part of it because the thought that Katya had written all this excited her even if it was about math. Something in the bottom right corner stole Trixie's gaze before she could finish everything else. It was written with a different pen than the rest of it so this is what she must have written today.

_x+u=25? x must be 15 because U sure are a 10 !!! ;)))_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had so much fun writing this even though it was 2:30 in the morning when i finished this. i can't wait to write and publish more of the two of these getting to know each other. thank you for the comments and support i truly appreciate it! <3  
> i'll try to update again real soon ;)


	3. Dreaming 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're staring."

Trixie was excited to go to school today. She knew she would see Katya in math class again and it gave Trixie butterflies. It had been four days since their last interaction and Trixie was longing for more. She hadn't spent that much time with Katya but she felt so comfortable around her it was crazy. Why was she feeling this way? Did she have a crush on her already? Well why wouldn't she Katya was gorgeous and she was funny but also kind and considerate. She thought what it would be like to spend more time with her, get to know her properly, look at her, smell her, touch her.

Trixie was deep in her thoughts when she heard a knock on the wall behind her. She pulled away from her makeup brushes and turned around to meet a grinning Dela.

”Why are you taking twice as long doing your makeup?” She asked and tilted her head. ”Or I should ask who are you doing it for?”

Trixie sighed and shook her head. ”No one. Has it ever occurred to you that you can take time to look nice just for yourself?” Trixie fired back and raised her eyebrows.

”Oh I do know that, but I also know that you are not one of those people. Spill it.”

Trixie sighed as she put away her makeup and sat down on the toilet. Dela tilted her head to the other side with raised brows and leaned on the doorframe.

”Well there’s a girl in my math class. She helped me and was really nice. And hot, she’s very hot.” Trixie said.

Dela smiled and clapped her hands.

”Well go get her girl! You deserve something good like that, plus you need it. I refuse to look at you every evening on that couch watching Parks & Recreation over and over again.”

”Hey that’s a good show!” Trixie argued but she knew there was no point to continue. ”I don’t know Dela. I mean she is hot and she told me I was pretty but something feels.. I don’t know what it feels like. I mean I could for sure see myself with her, she’s my type but something still feels off about it, about her.”

Dela sighed and took Trixie’s hand.

”You know that you won’t lose anything if you try. If it doesn’t work out or she turns out to be something else that you expected it’s not the end of the world. Just talk to her more, maybe try to ask her to hang out with you after school. Trixie what do we always hate about those rom com movies? When people wait for the other person to make a move. Just make the first move, start somewhere and see where it leads you.”

Trixie smiled and looked up at Dela.

”How is it that you always know what to say to me?” Trixie hummed

”Because I have known you my whole life.” Dela chuckled and pulled Trixie in for a hug.

”Thanks Dela.” Trixie whispered before pulling back smiling at her friend.

”No problem. Now finish your makeup so you can go get this girl!”

Trixie laughed as Dela walked away. Dela was right though.

Trixie felt excited around Katya and wanted more of it. She wanted to see where it would go. Would they end up having feelings for each other maybe even date or would they just be friends. Whatever they would be Trixie wanted to find out so she decided that when she'd see Katya today she would lay it out there. She was interested in her and wanted to spend more time with her.

Trixie got to math class early hoping she would see Katya before they went in and she would have a chance to talk to her but she was nowhere to be found. The bell rang and Trixie waited a few more seconds before walking in to the classroom without Katya. Trixie wondered where she was. Was she sick and couldn’t come in today or was she skipping classes. Trixie felt disappointed. She thought maybe Katya wouldn’t skip a class because of her. Because she was here eager to see Katya and she sure as hell wouldn't skip a class if Katya was there no matter how boring the class was. Trixie sighed and pulled out her things.

The minutes went by so slowly. All the noises in the classroom faded away as Trixie's mind went to Katya. She thought of her from four days ago how the muscles in her arms shifted as she moved, how she smelled good, coconuts Trixie thought. She remembered how her hands felt on hers as they lit her cigarette together. How her hole body tingled when Katya zipped her dress back up again and lingered behind her. For a few seconds when Katya didn't move behind her Trixie had thought maybe her hands would drop to her waist and she would turn Trixie to face her. To look her in the eyes seeking for approval. Trixie would've nodded and their lips would have met in a soft kiss. Trixie would've deepened the kiss and gladly parted her lips to let Katya stroke her tongue against hers. Their hands would have roamed each others bodies as they kissed passionately away from everyone's eyes.

Trixie's mind returned to the present when someone dropped their phone to the ground. She sighed and looked at the clock. It had only been thirty minutes but it had felt like five hours. Trixie was so bored and she felt down because Katya wasn't here. Trixie was ready to just leave this class and skip the rest of the day when the door opened and there she was.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I had that uh.. thing." Katya said walking over to Mrs DuJour's table and handing her a note.

"Oh right this, yes it's fine Katya, just sit down and I'll get you your papers."

Katya sat down and Trixie felt alive. She looked at the petite girl next to her as she ruffled her hair a bit before pulling her things out. She was wearing black high waisted denim shorts and a tight red sweater that was tucked into her shorts. She had her signature Doc Martens on with some fishnet stockings and this time she had a choker around her neck paired with black skeleton earrings dangling next to her sharp jawline. Her lips were painted red once again and she had heavier eye makeup than before. She turned to Trixie and smiled.

"You're staring."

"Oh." Trixie let out and blushed a bit before continuing. "Uh you're late.."

"Yeah I had a thing." Katya said shrugging.

Oh fuck. Trixie had pushed it too much. It wasn't her place to ask her where she had been or why she was late. Trixie turned back to her own paper still eyeing Katya though. The teacher returned and handed Katya her papers.

"I'll tell you about it later." Katya said and smiled at Trixie.

Trixie felt relieved and smiled back. They were quiet pretty much for the rest of the time until the bell rang. Trixie quickly stuffed her things into her backpack eager to talk to Katya. They exited the classroom and walked outside returning to the place they had last been to. Katya pulled out her cigarettes once again and offered one to Trixie but she refused politely. Katya only nodded and brought one between her lips and lit her cigarette. Trixie noticed she had a new lighter and it was pink and there was a black heart sticker on it. Katya took a drag before exhaling. Trixie smiled shyly and raised her brows at Katya as a sign that she was listening to whatever her reason for being late was.

"Oh right." Katya said. "Well I had this thing. Just a doctors appointment."

"Oh." Trixie said immediately getting scared. "Are you.. Are you okay though?"

"Oh I'm completely fine, I just have this thing on the bottom of my foot that is annoying me so I went in."

Trixie let out a breath. She was fine.

"Okay good." Trixie spoke sounding a bit desperate.

Katya smirked and took a drag of her cigarette before stepping closer. "You were worried about me?"

Katya searched for Trixie's eyes and blue eyes met brown. Trixie wasn't able to say it out lout but yes, she had been worried. She didn't want anything bad happening to Katya.

"You _were_ worried about me!" Katya shrieked and clapped her hands.

Trixie looked down and chuckled. She felt embarrassed now that Katya knew she had been worried.

"I think that's kinda hot that you worried about me." Katya spoke and Trixie's eyes quickly rose to meet Katya's blue ones.

She had her eyebrows raised and they were now hiding behind her slightly uneven bangs. Trixie admired the sight in front of her. Katya's hands were now resting on her hips the black and golden belt around her waist accentuated her round hips and tight waist. Trixie swallowed hard and her eyes travelled up focusing on her bright red and _oh so tight_ sweater that rose all the way up to the beginning of her neck. Her lips were pursed but she was definitely smirking. Katya's eyes were glued to Trixie's and Trixie felt naked. She felt like Katya's gaze was an x-ray and she could hear her every thought.

Trixie opened her mouth to speak but someone got to it first.

"KATYA!" 

Trixie looked to her left watching as a slender and tall girl ran towards Katya and jumped in her arms. Trixie watched the two of them interact as the brown haired girl wrapped her legs around Katya's tiny body and Katya's hands flew around this girl. Trixie felt out of place and quite frankly wanted to escape and be anywhere but here. The girl who had ran to Katya jumped down and cupped Katya's cheeks. Trixie's mouth fell slightly open as the girl pressed her lips on Katya's cheek. 

"Okay Violet chill." Katya laughed and dumbed her cigarette.

"I can't chill, I haven't seen you in forever!" The girl, apparently named Violet, beamed.

"Jesus I saw you two days ago at your house, remember dummy?" Katya said chuckling and now holding Violet's hand.

Trixie shook her head and picked up her backpack. She wasn't about to stay here and watch these two do God knows what.

"Oh Trixie hey this-"

"Oh don't worry I'll let you two talk." Trixie said starting to walk away.

"Oh shit did I interrupt something?" Violet said covering her mouth with both of her hands now.

"No. Not at all. We were done here." Trixie said taking steps away from them.

"Trixie!" Katya called after her.

Trixie turned around and looked at Katya smiling a bit. 

"It's okay, we'll talk later." She said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Trixie walked off leaving a confused a bit sad Katya behind.

"Yeah.. talk to you later." Katya whispered.

Trixie avoided seeing Katya for the rest of the day and she succeeded. She didn't know who this Violet was but by the looks of it they had something going on. Trixie listened to some sad music as she walked home and the walk seemed longer than usual. All she could think about was what could have happened if that Violet hadn't charmed in. Trixie might have told Katya she was interested in her and they would've kissed passionately Katya pushing her against the wall telling her she was interested too. Trixie tried to imagine what Katya's lips would feel like against her own. Soft, she was sure.

Trixie shook her head as she reached the front door.

"Hey I'm home!" Trixie called out.

No answer. Trixie tried again, a bit louder this time but still no answer. Trixie wondered where Dela was but didn't think about it too much and her mind already went back to Katya. Was she dating this Violet, seeing her or were they just friends. No definitely not just friends. Trixie was infuriated by this Violet person and she slammed the door shut behind her. That felt good.

"Well someone's mad.." Dela said walking into Trixie's view and she jumped.

"Dela what the hell. You scared me." Trixie said while resting her hand on her heart. "You didn't answer me when I called out." 

"Yeah I didn't hear you until the second time and I didn't feel like yelling so I just came here."

Trixie sighed and rolled her eyes as she removed her shoes.

"Trixie what's wrong?"

"The girl I told you about. Well we were talking until a skinnier and more prettier girl jumped in her arms and kissed her cheeks and held her hands." Trixie said sighing and sitting down on the floor covering her face with her hands.

"Oh Trixie." Dela said sitting down next to her. "Are you sure they aren't just friends or something like that?"

"Well they had been at each other's houses two nights ago so I don't know. They looked pretty close."

Dela rubbed her hand against Trixie's back and rested her other hand on Trixie's knee.

"Well they could be just friends. Have you ever thought about what our friendship looks like to an outsider? For instance right now." Dela chuckled a bit.

Trixie looked up at Dela who was smiling at her. Trixie let out a small laugh and rested her head on Dela' shoulder.

"Oh right. We are pretty close." Trixie said and felt Dela give her a kiss on the top of her head. "But they looked different."

Dela pulled back and locked eyes with Trixie.

"Well you don't know either of them. What would this girl think if she saw us now? She doesn't know us so it's understandable that she would think there's something more between us because we're, I don't know, being close or holding hands or even kissing each others heads. So maybe it's like that for them as well." Dela talked softly and smiled.

Trixie sighed and looked down at their hands. "Yeah maybe."

"Come on, and even if they had something more going on why wouldn't you fight for your spot. If you're interested you need to show it, put yourself out there so she knows her options." Dela encouraged and Trixie gained a little bit of confidence. 

"Yeah. That makes sense." Trixie nodded. 

"There you go!" Dela said and pulled her friend up. "Now lets eat before your shift tonight at the ice-cream shop! I made lasagne." Dela continued and guided them both into the kitchen.

Trixie had about an hour on her to eat, chill and get started on her homework before she had to get to work. She was excited to go to work and get her mind of things. She knew Shangela was supposed to be there with her and Trixie was grateful. Shangela was one of those people who would make your day with just one word. Trixie grabbed her bag stuffed her work t-shirt in there along with her small blue apron and head out the door.

Trixie's shift was from 5 to 9:30. She was grateful for her job because she could get started on some savings plus get herself some new make up or clothes every now and then. Trixie walked in and saw Morgan behind the counter and Kim was bringing more ice-cream out of the freezer. There were some people in the shop, not too many and Trixie thought it would be a fairy slow night. Trixie greeted her coworkers who were serving customer and she walked right in to the looker room. Right when she stepped in she could smell it. Cigarettes. Trixie frowned and was a bit confused because she didn't recall any of the other girls smoking. Trixie just shrugged and walked around the corner but stopped right in her tracks.

The girl in front on her was wearing black high waisted jeans paired with Doc Martens. She had a white long sleeved shirt on and she was pulling the pink and baby blue work t-shirt on top of it. Her hair was messy when her head popped through the whole of the shirt. She tucked both of the shirts in and pulled the little apron on her slim waist and her head snapped up.

"Trixie?"

"Katya?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay why does violet appear in every fanfic and ruin a perfect moment? and who is she anyways. girl please. no. sorry. next.  
> today i had a revelation of the future of this fic and what the ultimate plot will be. and i hate to break it to you but it's kinda sad, but also very encouraging and uplifting, at least for me. and it will have a happy ending, just maybe not the one you think  
> also because the story continues right away in the next chapter i wanted to post them at the same time, so you're welcome go read it :)


	4. Dreaming 2/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I uh, need to get changed." Trixie spoke out looking over her shoulder but Katya didn't move. She only slowly sat down and kept her eyes tightly on Trixie's back.

"Trixie?"

"Katya?"

Trixie looked at the girl in front of her. What was she doing here? She was confused. She saw supposed to have her shift with Shangela today. She watched Katya with the work attire. Oh God did she _work_ here? It hit Trixie all at once. There was one girl who worked here whose name Trixie didn't remember. But she knew it started with a K. Katya. Trixie's heart squeezed a bit. Out of all the people it was Katya who worked here. Of course it was.

Trixie sighed and looked down.

"So you work here." Trixie said tucking her bag on her shoulder.

"Yeah. And so do you apparently." Katya said smiling.

Trixie felt bad. Even though Dela had encouraged her to make the first move and express her interest in Katya Trixie couldn't help but wonder what was going on with her and Violet. What if they were together. Trixie didn't want to be the person who'd break someones relationship just so she could date one of them. Trixie sighed and walked to her locker opening it.

"Yeah I do. I started maybe a month ago when I moved here." Trixie replied when she felt Katya's eyes on her back.

Katya only hummed and smiled.

"I uh, need to get changed." Trixie spoke out looking over her shoulder but Katya didn't turn around or leave. She only slowly sat down and kept her eyes tightly on Trixie's back.

"Whatever.." Trixie murmured and got rid of her white t-shirt that had flower prints on it. 

She suddenly felt really exposed, well duh, she was literally exposed. She was only wearing her pink bra and her yellow skirt that hit high on her waist. There was a lot of exposed skin for Katya to see but Trixie felt okay like this. She didn't feel embarrassed. She reached in for her bag and pulled out her work t-shirt looking at it for a moment. The sleeves were pink and the logo of the ice-cream shop was in the middle under a baby blue circle. Trixie smiled thinking of Mrs Davis. She was the sweetest woman and was so kind to let her work here even though Trixie didn't have much work experience.

Trixie sighed and was about to pull the shirt over her head when she felt two soft hands on her bare arms. She felt Katya move her hands slowly up and down her arms and that gave Trixie goosebumps. Trixie held her breath as she felt Katya's breath on her neck. She was so close. Trixie could feel the texture of Katya's baggy jeans on her calves and the apron slightly rubbing on her skirt. Trixie leaned her head back ever so slightly and felt Katya move her head to the right side of her neck. Trixie swallowed hard as she felt the tip of Katya's nose tracing her shoulder. What was she doing. Katya's hands moved up to her shoulders her fingers following the straps of her bra. 

"You are amazing." Katya whispered her hot breath hitting the crook of Trixie's neck.

Trixie let out the breath she was holding in and her shoulders dropped along.

"Katya.." Trixie let out and tilted her head back up again.

"Please.."

Trixie felt Katya's hands drop but she was still close. Trixie was so confused in this moment. She wanted Katya to touch her more, to turn her around and kiss her. But on the other hand she didn't want that to happen. She needed to make sure what was going on with her and Violet and if she even had a chance to make Katya yearn for her. The door to the locker room opened and in an instant Katya was gone. She missed her presence but Kim's voice broke the perfect silence they had been in.

"Ugh what a day!" Kim let out. 

Trixie pulled the shirt over her head and turned around to meet her friend.

"Hey Kim." Trixie said giving her friend a quick hug. "What are you talking about, there was barely any customers in there."

"Oh that's nothing. This is probably the slowest it has been all day. But oh boy was it packed here around noon." Kim spoke out sitting on the bench.

Katya was silent and she was biting her lip. She gave Kim a quick hey before heading out and starting her shift. Kim looked back at Trixie.

"Wow this is the most quiet I've seen her. She's always talking and making jokes." Kim spoke.

Trixie swallowed and shrugged. "Yeah I wouldn't know. This is my first time working with her."

"Oh really?" Kim beamed. "Well she's fun. And really nice so you'll be fine." Kim said.

Trixie agreed. Katya was fun and she was really nice. She imagined Katya being really nice with customers, smiling wide, exposing her perfect teeth and making so many peoples days with just her kind and open demeanor. 

* * *

The evening went by quickly. Sometimes there was just one person inside and sometimes fifteen people at once. Customers kept coming in on a steady phase and Trixie was a bit relieved so she didn't have time to talk to Katya about Violet or what had happened before. On one hand Trixie was really scared if Katya wasn't available because she was definitely interested but on the other hand Trixie wanted to pour out her feelings and make Katya feel the same way she had made Trixie feel. Excited and nervous at the same time.

The last customers left just before nine o'clock. They cleaned the shop together, wiping the tables and chairs and mopping the floor. Trixie counted the money and locked it back into the safe before she entered the locker room once again. Katya was there already changing into her own clothes. She still had her white long sleeved shirt on under a big black Nirvana t-shirt. She was pulling off her jeans and God the shirt rose so high Trixie could almost see up her long shirt. Trixie cleared her throat and walked to her locker, unlocking it and taking her things out ready to leave. She wasn't going to change, she didn't feel like stripping in front of Katya again.

Katya pulled on a pair of lime green biker shorts on before they left the shop, leaving out the back taking the trash with them. They both threw the bags of garbage in these huge bins before looking at each other.

"Well that was a fun shift." Katya said smiling widely. She was no longer wearing the red lipstick she had been wearing earlier today. 

"Yeah it sure was." Trixie said looking at the ground. She didn't know what to do. Would she tell Katya how she felt or just never speak of it.

Trixie was about to leave when she saw Katya pull out her cigarettes and offer one to her. Trixie refused again and watched as Katya lit hers and hopped on one of the bins. Trixie turned around to leave but didn't get far when she heard Katya speaking.

"Stay with me? Keep me company?"

Trixie turned back around and looked up at Katya. She was smiling softly bringing the cigarette to her lips before letting the smoke come out of her nose. Trixie nodded and leaned on the railing. Katya smiled when she noticed that Trixie seemed a bit uncomfortable. The events of earlier today came to Katya's mind and she sighed a bit before she spoke out.

"Sorry about before." Katya said softly.

Trixie shook her head. "It's fine really."

"No. It's not. We had a moment and Violet completely ruined it."

Trixie twitched a bit at the mention and Violet and Katya noticed that.

"You know she's really annoying sometimes. But she's the only cousin that I have so I guess I have to put up with her hyperactivity."

Trixie looked up and inhaled sharply. _Cousin_. Katya smirked when she noticed Trixie's relief and she jumped down from the bin.

"You know I find it really cute that first.." Katya spoke closing the gap between them. "You were worried about me."

Katya's voice was soft as she kept coming closer and closer to Trixie now only a few feet between them. Katya took a drag of her cigarette before blowing the smoke just past Trixie's face maintaining their eye contact.

"And second. You were jealous." Katya smirked.

Trixie bit her lower lip _hard_. She didn't know what to say. She felt so stupid getting jealous over Violet. She knew she should've waited to know what their relationship was until she could properly be jealous but she couldn't help it. She had been _so_ jealous.

"Well how can I not.." Trixie spoke out, getting a bit more confident. "Look at yourself."

Katya raised her eyebrows and smirked even more. 

"You like me." 

"No I don't."

"Yes you do!" Katya argued and smiled widely.

Trixie rolled her eyes but didn't deny it. She did like Katya. What was not to like. Katya was beautiful, sexy, funny, kind, considerate and so many other things Trixie didn't know the words for.

"Whatever.." Trixie rolled her eyes and looked to her side, not wanting to look Katya in the eyes.

Katya hummed a bit before taking one step closer.

"Let me shotgun you."

"What?" Trixie asked her eyes shooting up to meet Katya's. "What's that, are you gonna shoot me and leave me here to rot on this disgusting alley."

"No silly." Katya laughed. "Do you trust me?"

_Yes._

Trixie hesitated for a moment before she nodded. Katya stepped in closer, so close that there was only inches between them. Trixie's body tensed up as Katya whispered.

"Open your mouth for me."

Trixie obeyed parting her lips and opening her mouth slightly. She felt Katya move her head to the side a bit and take in a drag. She watched as Katya inched closer and Trixie felt the need to close her eyes and so she did. She felt Katya's nose brush against hers before she felt the smoke invade her mouth. Trixie kept her mouth open letting the smoke travel in her mouth and some of it escaping out right away. Trixie closed her mouth and swallowed hard. She kept her eyes closed as she felt Katya linger close to her. 

Suddenly she felt Katya's body press against hers. Trixie's back hit the trailing behind her and she had to grab it for support. Trixie bit her lower lip again and opened her eyes slightly seeing Katya's blonde hair before her. Her head was exploring the space next to Trixie's neck. Trixie tilted her head to the opposite direction inviting Katya on her skin. She felt Katya's nose traveling on her neck and jawline and she bumped the tip of it with the lobe of Trixie's ear. Trixie closed her eyes and took in a sharp breath as she felt Katya's wet lips on her neck. It lasted long and it felt like one of those scenes in old horror movies where the vampire sucked the life out of it's victim. Katya's hands came to rest on Trixie's hips as she pulled away.

"May I please have your number?"

"What?" Trixie breathed out as she opened her eyes.

Katya pulled back from her and smiled slightly.

"I want to ask you if you got some safely." Katya smiled and Trixie was still a bit confused. "So may I have your number?"

Trixie chuckled a bit and looked down at the space between them. She shook her head and extended her hand to Katya.

"You are unbelievable." Trixie murmured and Katya pulled out her phone.

Trixie typed in her number and handed the phone back to Katya who was looking at her intensely. Trixie felt amazing whenever Katya had her eyes on her. She was sure she was glowing. She still felt a burn on her neck where Katya's lips had been. She really wanted to kiss Katya, pull her close to her and taste her lips, feel her body and give Katya the butterflies that Trixie always had around her. 

"Get home safely, Trixie." Katya said before stepping back and walking away with a huge smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i really wanted something to happen between them so there you go! katya is really a tease but christ it's hot when she does what she does.  
> i hope you enjoyed these two chapters, next one will probably be out in a few days :)


	5. You wouldn't like me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were outside the school in front of everyone but it felt like they were the only ones there. Katya's hands rose up a bit taking a hold Trixie's belt inching her closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has mentions of mental health issues, depression and self-harm.
> 
> i know from my own experiences with depression that talking to someone is sometimes really hard but when you do it you feel so much better and so proud of yourself. so if there's someone out there reading this talk to someone or be the one who listens. we all need love and we all deserve love <3
> 
> ok i love you, enjoy this chapter  
> thank you for reading

* * *

7:09am.

Katya didn't feel like getting out of bed. She had woken up an hour ago without her alarm waking her. She wasn't sleeping very good these days and since RedBull existed she didn't worry about it too much. Katya sighed and looked over to her nightstand where her pills were. She felt like they were staring at her, mocking her.

"Stupid bitch." Katya murmured as she lifted herself from bed, sitting up and swallowing her pills of the day.

Katya took many vitamins along with some iron to keep her body functioning properly. Then she had the pills for her mind. Katya had battled with her mental health for many years now. She was now 23 and she was first diagnosed with depression in 9th grade when she was 15. She had had the perfect childhood, the perfect supportive family and a lot of friends but somehow she still had become depressed. When Katya first started going to therapy at 18 she was infuriated at herself because she didn't understand why she was depressed when she had the perfect life otherwise. When she didn't understand herself she quit therapy and just relied on her medication which wasn't the smartest choice but Katya refused to talk to a therapist when they just asked _"How does it make you feel?"_ about everything.

Many years of self-hatred followed and Katya took out the frustration of not understanding herself and feeling terrible on herself. She harmed herself both mentally and physically. She cut herself wherever it felt proper at the time and now she regretted it having many scars all over her body. Katya had though about covering some of the scars with tattoos but she hadn't really gotten herself to book any appointments. 

Katya had been stable for a few years though lately it had gotten worse again. There were only a few things that kept her happy. Coffee, cigarettes, her cat Nelson and Trixie. Since she first saw that blonde haired beauty in math class she was hooked. She needed more of her. More of her smile, laugh and that damn beautiful curvy body. She was like a drug and Katya needed a daily dose of Trixie. Katya wanted to tell the truth about her doctors appointment to Trixie but she didn't want to put her burden on Trixie. She had been in there talking about her mental state and if it was possible for her to get a higher dose of her medication. Katya would soon go in there again when they'd call her to come back. 

Katya lived alone, well not alone she had Nelson, her cat that she had picked up from a shelter near her. Nelson was completely black with piercing blue eyes. He had been extremely shy at first hiding himself under the sink in the bathroom for two weeks before he grew more comfortable. Now he was living his best life with Katya. She scratched and played with him every day making sure he got the proper attention he deserved. Katya had pondered at the thought of another cat for a while now so Nelson wouldn't be so lonely during the days when she was gone. She had looked around shelters but none of the cats felt right to her. 

Katya's one bedroom apartment was fairly big. She had a futon bed and her apartment was full of all sized plants. The futon was really good for her back and Katya enjoyed sleeping so close to the ground. Katya had a large TV resting on a base level dresses where she kept her horror movie collection. She had all of the Scream and Saw movies along with more classics like The Silence of the Lambs, Halloween and Friday the 13th. 

The walls were concrete and Katya had painted them white and decorated them with posters from Russia where Katya was from. Her family had moved to Boston when Katya was 5. Katya's parents were scientist and when Katya had moved out on her own they had sold their home here and moved back to Russia where they had kept their previous home. Katya didn't see her parents often since they had their distance but they FaceTimed at least once a month and texted weekly. They were very supportive of Katya's sexuality and she had had no trouble coming out.

Katya placed her feet on the ground and pushed herself up from the low bed. Immediately Nelson was by her feet purring. 

"Alright alright lets get you something to eat." Katya spoke softly and Nelson happily followed her to the kitchen. 

Katya pulled out the bag of cat food and Nelson opened his small mouth and meowed. Katya rolled her eyes and poured a fair handful of buttons into his bowl. Nelson happily started munching his breakfast and Katya walked into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed deeply. Dark circles were under her tired eyes, her hair was a bit dirty and her breath was terrible. Katya brushed her teeth before she jumped into the shower washing all the dirt and tiredness from her.

Katya was early this morning. School didn't start until 9:00 but she didn't want to stay in bed so long. Once she got out of the shower she dried her body and tied the towel around her breast letting her wet hair dangle on her shoulders. Katya had always cut her hair herself and it looked that way as well. It wasn't bad but it looked a bit rough at times. She walked back into her bedroom throwing the towel away and getting dressed in a matching black underwear and bra. Not that anyone was going to see it but it made her feel sexier about herself. Katya picked out a black dress that had a white collar to it. She wore her transparent black stockings that she would match with her Doc Martens once she would head out. Katya grabbed a pair of silver pentagram earrings. She walked back into the bathroom smiling slightly when she saw Nelson still enjoying his meal. Katya painted her face like she always did. Red lips and some black eye shadow. 

Katya finished everything she had to do before heading out. She grabbed a RedBull out of the fridge, tightened the Doc Martens on her feet and walked out the door. Katya had her white backpack hanging low on her back and her hair bounced slightly with every step. Katya walked happily down the street knowing she would see Trixie soon. They had been texting last night and Trixie wanted to walk to school with Katya so they had agreed to meet in front of a coffee shop that was close to the both of them. She was listening to her favorite playlist and one of her favorite songs started playing just when she reached the coffee shop.

 _There's a war inside of me_  
_Do I cause new heartbreak to write_ _a_ _new broken song?_  
_Do I push it down_ _o_ _r let it run me right into the ground?_

Katya sang quietly along to the song as she sat down on the bench outside the shop. Trixie wasn't here yet and Katya lifted her legs up and sat crosslegged on the bench.

_And you haven't called me in weeks_  
_And honestly, it's bringing me down_

_I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me_  
_I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me_

"Well I have met you and I do like you."

Katya jumped slightly when she heard the words and a tap on her shoulder. She turned her head and saw Trixie smiling at her. Trixie walked around the bench and sat next to Katya.

"What are you listening to? That's utter crap that someone wouldn't like you." Trixie said still smiling at Katya.

Katya chuckled and pulled her headphones out. 

"It's a good song! It's very empowering and fun. It's called "You wouldn't like me" by Tegan and Sara." Katya beamed.

"Whatever you say silly." Trixie chuckled taking Katya's hand. "You ready to go?"

Katya nodded and they both got up holding hands. Holding Trixie's hand gave Katya such a powerful sensation she had to keep reminding herself not to just jump all over Trixie and kiss her. They hadn't kissed yet mainly because they saw each other mostly at school but also because Katya found the teasing to be more fun. Holding hands seemed good for now and neither of them wanted to go that fast. They had know each other for a few weeks now texting everyday since the day Katya had gotten Trixie's number and indeed asked her if she had gotten home safely. They had stayed up really late talking about their favorite things, their childhoods, coming out stories and much more. After that night Katya felt like she knew Trixie so much better now. Still there was so many things to talk about, at least on Katya's part. Katya kept Trixie in the dark about her mental health struggles because honestly she was scared that Trixie would stop talking to her if she knew about her problems, because they were _a lot._ Katya didn't understand herself most of the time so how could she explain it to someone else. 

They walked around the park for a while before they headed towards to school. There was only two weeks left of school and Katya didn't have many classes left. She had her math classes that were always the highlights of her week because she got to be with Trixie even if it was in class. She also had her philosophy and art classes. She had been painting in art class since their assignment was to paint a collection that included four works. The assignment was to paint whatever came to their mind of the word _bliss_. Katya had immediately though of Trixie and she started painting the things she most liked about her and they ended up being her eyes, smile, hair and body. Katya was still working on some of them trying to give them more texture and dept. In a week, on the last week of school there was an art evening where everyone's art projects would be hung up on the wall. Katya felt proud of her work but she was nervous of Trixie's reaction. On the other hand Katya was excited about it because she'd get to hear Trixie sing since everyone in the music class had to prepare a music performance for that event. 

They reached the school and smiled at each other still holding hands.

"What time do you get out?" Katya spoke first.

"My last class is at 2 so not before three. Why?" 

"No reason." Katya said shrugging.

"How about you?" Trixie asked swinging their hands.

"Oh I only have art and philosophy today so I'll be out before noon." Katya hummed.

"Ugh that's unfair. I wanna have less classes too."

Katya laughed and shook her head.

"You might want to have less classes but you don't want to still be here in three years. I've been slacking so much and skipping classes that I've been here for two extra years."

Trixie giggled and looked at Katya.

"You're right I don't want to end up like you." Trixie joked.

"Meanie!" Katy screeched and gently pushed Trixie's shoulder letting go of her hand.

They reached the doors and stopped by the stairs letting people walk by them.

"Wanna come over tomorrow?" Katya asked looking up at Trixie who was standing one step higher than she was.

"What?" Trixie asked her voice pitching up a bit.

"Like a movie night. And I'll cook something." Katya said smiling gently.

Trixie smiled back and shook her head.

"We both know you can't cook for shit."

"Well excuse me never mind them." Katya said jokingly taking few steps up before Trixie stopped her. They were both being dramatic and they loved it.

"How about we just order in? Pizza?" Trixie raised her brows smiling up at Katya now.

"That sounds great." Katya said leaning down a bit her body getting closer to Trixie.

They were outside the school in front of everyone but it felt like they were the only ones there. Katya's hands rose up a bit taking a hold Trixie's belt inching her closer. She felt Trixie's body tense up a bit and Katya enjoyed having this power over her, it made her feel very sexy. She grabbed the bow on Trixie's belt and tightened it feeling Trixie suck in. Katya lingered her fingers on Trixie's stomach enjoying the sight in front of her: Trixie eyes closed biting her lip. Katya crept in closer brushing the tips of their noses together. 

"See you then, Trixilicious." Katya said quietly before turning around, quickly running up the steps and disappearing into the crowd of other students. Katya took in a deep breath and smiled widely to herself at the thought of Trixie just standing there on the steps wondering what the hell just happened. 


	6. Sleeping Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't you think it's too soon?" Trixie questioned.
> 
> ”Too soon for what?"
> 
> ”For us to be.. sleeping together."

Trixie was nervous.

She had changed her outfit four times which was ridiculous since she was only going to Katya's place for a movie and pizza but still she couldn't help herself. Her makeup was lighter than usual and the dress she was wearing displayed her long freshly shaved legs. Trixie didn't know if this was the night something would finally happen between them but she wanted to be ready if it did. Katya had texted her earlier if she could pick up a bottle of wine but immediately send a facepalm gif after it since Trixie was only 20. Her birthday was coming up in August and she couldn't wait to turn 21 and finally be able to go out as a legal adult. Trixie wasn't a big wine consumer but she had a few white wines she had grown to like. She texted Katya a picture of her favorite one and she got a reply from Katya that this would be waiting for her when she'd arrive tonight

Trixie's heart skipped a beat every time she received a text from Katya. They had definitely grown to like each other more and the flirting was off the charts. She just wanted to kiss Katya so badly. Touch her and be touched. Every time she was with Katya she felt alive. Trixie enjoyed the teasing Katya gave her but it was also killing her. Trixie wanted tonight to be the night that they would share their first kiss. It would be perfect since they were alone, not in school where anyone could see them or interrupt them. Tonight it was just the two of them.

Trixie knocked on the door and she heard music coming from the apartment. It didn't take more than three seconds for Katya to open the door. Trixie's mouth opened slightly at the sight of Katya. She was wearing a black spaghetti strap top along with some grey sweatpants that rose all the way up to her waist. A few different gold chains were hanging around her neck going all the way down between her breasts. Trixie swallowed hard and looked up to meet Katya in the eyes. She had barely any makeup on just some mascara and red lipstick. Trixie smiled as Katya smirked at her and opened the door wider.

"Welcome." Katya grinned and closed the door as Trixie walked in getting rid of her shoes.

"Thanks." Trixie smiled.

They walked to the living room Trixie's eyes trying to take it all in. There were posters from Russia and some of Katya's paintings on the walls. She had a million plants decorating the rest of the living room. Trixie's eyes quickly caught the sight of Katya's bedroom. She saw that there was a futon bed and some candles were lit. Trixie swallowed hard again and turned to look at Katya. She was about to say something when she felt something brush against her leg.

"Oh Nelson!" Trixie beamed lifting the cat up to her arms.

Katya smiled at the sight in front of her pulling out her phone from her pocket and snapping a picture of them before Trixie could say anything.

"Hey-" Trixie started but was cut off.

"This is my house and we'll play by my rules tonight okay."

Trixie bit her lips together and nodded. "Okay."

She couldn't help but imagine what could happen between them tonight. Katya's words stuck with her. _And we'll play by my rules tonight_. God that was sexy. Trixie smiled a bit before putting Nelson back to the ground and he walked away into Katya's bedroom. They found their way to the couch discussing what they wanted to watch. They agreed on a horror movie and ended up watching The Silence of The Lambs since Katya was obsessed with Jodie Foster.

They cuddled up on the couch together their legs side by side, shoulders making contact. At some point Trixie felt Katya take her hand and squeeze it lightly. Trixie closed her eyes before looking at Katya. God she was beautiful. Her skin was pale but the red lipstick made her look so good. Trixie wanted to just close the gap between them and kiss already. Katya looked down between them.

"Should we uh.." She spoke softly looking back at Trixie.

Trixie nodded and tilted her head to the side. She was ready. She was so ready for this. She closed her eyes feeling Katya move slightly. She felt Katya pull back and Trixie opened her eyes in confusion. Katya had pulled out her phone once again.

"Uh hello.." Trixie said waving her hand at Katya.

"Oh I meant should we order the pizza now." Katya said grinning once she noticed Trixie had expected something else. "You horny lesbian."

They both laughed and went through the options after setteling on a basic pepperoni pizza. They focused back on the movie Katya pulling a blanket on them. They held hands under the blanket and made small comments about the movie based on what happened. 

"You know call me crazy but I ship this." Katya said keeping her eyes on the movie.

"Who? Clarice and Hannibal?!" Trixie questioned and looked at Katya in shock.

"Yeah!" Katya said laughing slightly as she turned her body to Trixie.

"That is crazy. He’s a serial killer. Serial killers don't feel love so that's just stupid. He would eat her like he eats all of his victims."

Katya looked at Trixie raising her brows like there was nothing wrong with her opinion.

"You're crazy." Trixie huffed.

"Maybe I am." Katya said pushing the blanket off of her.

She kept her eyes on Trixie as she moved her body now straddling Trixie.

_Yes yes yes_.

Katya grabbed Trixie's wrist and brought them behind her head. Katya gently lowered her body on Trixie's thighs grinding slightly creating a sensation for Trixie that almost made her go insane. Katya lowered her head her nose exploring the skin on Trixie's neck. Trixie leaned her head back creating more space for Katya to do whatever she wanted. Trixie gasped as she felt Katya's lips brush against her ear.

"You smell amazing." Katya whispered.

Trixie hummed and smiled. 

"You feel amazing." Trixie whispered back and Katya leaned back a bit.

Katya moved Trixie's hands and landed them on her own hips. Once Katya let go of them Trixie's hand immediately started running up and down Katya's sides. Katya hummed and her hips started moving against Trixie's legs a bit faster. God this was killing her. Trixie moaned once again as Katya's hands dropped to her stomach sliding up to cup her breasts. Katya gave them a light squeeze before burying her face into Trixie's neck again. Katya gave her skin light kisses her lips slightly dragging on her skin. Trixie sighed and felt her whole body get all worked up. She need to kiss her now.

"God Katya. Just kiss me already."

Katya's head popped up and she gave Trixie a look. Trixie knew that look and she nodded assuring Katya that this was it. Katya gave her a small smile. She slowly leaned in brushing their noses together. Trixie could feel Katya's breath on her mouth. Trixie could smell Katya had been smoking even though there was a strong smell of toothpaste and Trixie appreciated the effort of hiding her cigarette breath.

_**Bang bang**_.

There was a loud knock on the door. "Pizza delivery."

Trixie felt Katya still linger near her face, their lips brushing against one another. Katya rested her head against Trixie's and smiled.

"Pizza delivery!"

Katya chuckled and pulled back. "God he is not having it."

"Nope. How about I get the pizza and you go get the wine." Trixie said, smiling slightly.

"Sounds good." Katya beamed and got off Trixie.

Trixie leaned her head back quickly before getting up and answering the door. God this was going to be a long night.

* * *

The pizza was gone and so was the wine. The ending credits of the movie rolled when Katya stood up cleaning away the glasses and the pizza box. Trixie followed her into the kitchen smiling as she watched Katya. Katya was washing the glasses when she felt Trixie walk up behind her wrapping her arms around her waist. She rested her head on Katya's shoulders smelling her hair.

"Clingy much?" Katya joked.

"Mmh maybe." Trixie murmured against Katya's skin.

Katya hummed and started drying the glasses.

"Katya I don't wanna go home yet." Trixie whispered tightening her arms around Katya's waist.

Katya could tell Trixie was a bit drunk from the wine. Katya usually needed more alcohol but the wine got her a bit tipsy.

"You don't have to go home." Katya said as she put the glasses away. "You can stay here."

"Really?" Trixie beamed.

"Of course!" Katya laughed with her back still to Trixie.

"Don't you think it's too soon?" Trixie questioned.

"Too soon for what?"

"For us to be.. sleeping together."

"Well sleeping together means also just sleeping, so I wouldn't say it's too soon." Katya chuckled a bit.

"Yeah. It also means _sleeping_ together. Like sex!" Trixie giggled and Katya rolled her eyes shaking her head.

"Mama we don't have to do anything you don't want to." 

"But what if I want to?" 

"Want to what?" Katya asked, lowering her voice.

"Do something.."

"Like what?" 

"Kiss you." Trixie whispered.

Katya finally turned around in Trixie's arms. Katya looked up at Trixie smirking slightly.

"Then you should really just kiss me Trixie." Katya whispered pushing Trixie's hair behind her ear.

Even though Trixie was a bit drunk she knew she wanted this more than anything. She trusted Katya to stop her if she was crossing the line or suggesting them doing something they shouldn't be doing drunk. But Katya didn't do that. It was more like Katya was trying to pull her over this line. They had flirted and teased for so long that even the thought of kissing Katya made Trixie go crazy.

Trixie leaned in closing her eyes. She felt Katya move closer in her arms. Trixie peeked her eyes open to make sure this was really happening before she pressed her lips on Katya's. She felt sparks fly around them and her whole body came to life. It was long and deep both of them holding on to each other afraid if they let go they would disappear. Trixie felt Katya brush her tongue against her lip and Trixie parted her lips inviting Katya in. Their tongues worked against one another and Trixie felt lightheaded. She leaned on Katya for more support pushing her against the counter, their bodies pressing up together.

Trixie felt Katya's hand work up her body pulling her closer from her ass. Trixie smiled against Katya's lips and lifted her own hands to stroke Katya's hair. They kissed passionately feeling up each others bodies until they couldn't breathe so they pulled back for air. Katya rested her forehead against Trixie's and smiled.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Katya grinned.

"Oh no, not longer than I have." Trixie giggled and pressed her lips quickly on Katya's.

"Do you wanna go to bed?" Katya asked.

Trixie nodded her head pulling back from Katya letting her guide them into the bedroom.

"Are you tired?" Katya asked again looking back at Trixie.

Trixie shook her head and Katya grinned. 

"Alright then." Katya smirked walking them into the bedroom.

There were candles lit and a pair of decorative lights hanging on the wall around the bed. The room was dark but Trixie could see Katya's dresser and a small bed in the corner for Nelson. He was sleeping in it and didn't even budge his ear when Trixie stumbled on to the bed. Katya walked in after Trixie placing her hands on Trixie’s cheeks before giving her a soft kiss.

”I’m gonna be right back.” Katya whispered before leaving the bedroom.

Trixie was excited but also she was so tired. She had woken up early and it was nearly 2am right now. Trixie wanted this though so she stripped out of her dress. She was wearing a matching white underwear and bra. White made her look really innocent and Trixie liked that particularly in a sexier enviroinment. Trixie laid down on the wide bed, trying to pose sexy waiting for Katya to return.

It didn’t take Katya long. She had gone out for a quick smoke her nerves killing her and brushed her teeth before returning with two glasses of water. When she walked back into the bedroom what she saw was beyond what she had expected. Trixie in her underwear asleep in her bed. Katya had dreamt of this so many times, in her dreams she would wake Trixie up and they’d have some pretty good sex but now that it was actually happening Katya couldn’t get herself to wake up this sleeping beauty.

Katya smiled slightly before stripping herself from her clothes now only wearing her red panties. She put her hair up on a lose bun on the top of her head before turning out the candles and lights. Katya climbed into bed inching up behind Trixie.

”Mmh.. Katya..” Trixie mumbled after Katya had placed her hand on her shoulder.

”I’m here.” Katya whispered.

”I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

”It’s totally okay, and really adorable actually.” Katya chuckled.

Trixie only hummed and serched for Katya’s hand finding it quickly. She pulled it around her Katya’s small body coming to spoon Trixie’s taller one.   
  


”I think I’m falling asleep again.” Trixie whispered.

”It’s okay go to sleep Trixie.”

”Mhh okay. Good night Katya.”

”Good night Trixie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaah first kisss!!
> 
> i’m glad they finally kissed even though Trixie sort of passed out in the end but still. also i’m not trying to encourage underage drinking but you know, it is what it is. also the ending is so anti-climatic but i wanted to post this chapter still today so i hope it’s okay :)))
> 
> thanks for reading! see you on the next one


	7. I'll be there for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Dela continued.
> 
> "Trixie?" Katya said frowning slightly.

Trixie woke up in the morning groaning slightly. She had slept amazing for the first time in a long while and Trixie knew she hadn't been dreaming all those things that had happened last night. She looked around and indeed she wasn't on her friends couch but she was in Katya's room. Trixie smiled turning around to her other side and much to her disappointment Katya wasn’t there and Trixie frowned a bit. There was a t-shirt laying on the end of the bed and Trixie assumed it was left there for her. She pulled it on and got out of the bed.

The apartment was quiet only Nelson silently snoring on the couch. Trixie checked the kitchen but Katya wasn’t there. Trixie was utterly disappointed that Katya was no where to be found and there wasn’t even a note. Trixie sighed and sat on the couch giving Nelson a few pets before she could hear some sniffling. Trixie stood up and walked over to the window. She saw Katya sitting down on the balcony, crying. Trixie walked to the balcony door opening it and stepping out. Katya looked up at Trixie and quickly wiped her tears away.

”Hey did you sleep good?” Katya asked standing up now her arms embracing her own tiny body with a phone in her hand.

”Who cares how I slept, what’s going on?” Trixie asked walking to Katya resting her hands on Katya's shoulders.

”Uh nothing..” Katya said, sniffing.

”Katya. You know you can tell me anything.” Trixie spoke softly, rubbing her thumb against Katya’s shoulder.

”Uh well this is actually nothing..” Katya said lifting up her phone. ”The doctor called and I just have an appointment later today.”

”I guess you weren’t at the doctor for that thing on the bottom of your foot.” Trixie spoke.

”No I wasn’t. Even though I do have it.” Katya chuckled before shaking her head and continuing ”I’m going in there and he's gonna my up my dose."

Trixie frowned a bit but let Katya speak.

"I've been dealing with depression for a long time now and I was stable for a few years but now it has come back and it's getting worse again." Katya said tears filling her eyes.

"I was trying to just ignore it and think that maybe it was something else I was feeling but Trixie I know it's back and it's bad." Katya cried now. "And I feel so stupid and shitty about it because I wanted to be fine. I wanted to be fine for you. But I'm a mess and I can't control my feelings and I don't understand them and I can't ask you to do that for me."

Katya sobbed and Trixie wrapped her arms around Katya trying to calm her down.

"And I was scared that once you knew you would leave because no one wants to be with a basket case like me. I feel like I can't control anything in my life and I thought I could push away the interest I had for you but I don't really want to do that because Trixie I really like you but I can't ask you to stay. And I won't because I always end up hurting the people around me and I would hate myself forever if I ever hurt you Trixie."

Trixie held Katya tightly to her listening to every word she was saying. Trixie had suffered with anxiety for a few years now and she knew how bad that could get but depression was something new for her. Sure Trixie had been down for short periods of time but it wasn't comparable to this. Trixie held Katya close and let her cry into her shoulder. It took about ten minutes before Katya had calmed down now only sniffling in Trixie's arms.

"Here, lets go inside." Trixie whispered guiding them back inside to the couch.

Katya curled up her body as Trixie put the blanket on her.

"I get it if you wanna leave now." Katya whispered quietly looking down at her hands.

"I'm gonna stay so we can talk if that's okay with you." Trixie spoke softly.

"No really, you don't have to." Katya said.

Trixie scooted in closer carefully cupping Katya's cheeks and lifting her face up.

"I don't think you're listening to me. I am _not_ going anywhere." 

Katya looked up at Trixie smiling slightly.

"Trixie I-" Katya started but was interrupted by Trixie's finger on her lips.

"It's my turn to talk now." Trixie spoke softly.

"First of all you are not a basket case. You are strong. And brave Katya. So brave. You didn't have to tell me this but you did and I'm glad that I'm worthy of your trust. I may not know how it feels for you but I do know what I'm feeling right now and _I want to be here_. I want to be here for you, with you, whatever you might need I am here. And I will be. No matter how bad it might get or how confusing your feelings might be I will be here. If you want to talk about it or even if you don't want to talk about it I will be here. I will be here until you tell me you don't want me here. And even then I will ask you many times are you sure. Because even if you don't want me here I'll always want to be here with you. You're not gonna get rid of me so easily or be able to scare me away because Katya.. Nothing is scarier than the thought of not seeing you anymore. Just the thought of you existing makes me so incredibly happy."

Tears were running down Katya's cheeks and Trixie wiped them away with her thumbs.

"I've never been able to be completely myself with anyone, not even my parents. So it really scares me, that once I reveal all the bad and dark things I think about myself to someone they will see them too and just leave. Because Trixie they are bad things and I refuse to be the one that ruins you. I feel like I have nothing special to give. I'm just me.." Katya cried.

"Katya.. You being just you is more than enough for me. More than I could ever dream to ask for actually. I have seen you, at good times and now bad and have I walked away? Have I run off getting scared of this? No. And I'm not going to. I have seen enough of you Katya to know that I want to be here and possibly get to know the rest of you if you'll let me. Things get hard and life gets hard but I'd rather go through every horrible thing with you than experience all the good things there are but without you. Katya I care for you, like a lot, and as I said I will be here for as long as you want me to be here."

Katya looked up at Trixie tears still coming out of her eyes. 

"I don't know what to say.. I have no words. I.." Katya cried softly.

"You don't have to say anything Katya. I'm here but if you want I can leave-"

"No!" Katya hurried to say. "Please don't." Katya whispered.

Trixie smiled softly relieved that Katya let her stay. She opened her arms to Katya who leaned in wrapping her smaller arms around Trixie's body. Trixie could have never guessed that Katya struggled with depression not to mention this badly. It now made sense to Trixie. Katya had often mentioned she didn't really sleep good and she didn't have much of an appetite like last night Katya had only eaten a few slices of the pizza. But no matter what Katya was going through Trixie wanted to be there. She didn't think any less of Katya knowing all of her dark secrets and the last thing on her mind was that she would leave her all alone in this. Trixie's heart warmed while she thought of Katya and what they had done together during these past few weeks. Katya had already become someone really special for Trixie and she wanted to keep it that way.

They stayed there embracing each other and the minutes went by Trixie listening to Katya breathe. Her breathing before had been fanatic due to all the crying but it had turned into soft sobs every here and there and now she was breathing steadily.

"Katya?" Trixie asked softly.

No response.

"Are you sleeping?"

Still no response. Trixie smiled at the though of Katya falling asleep in her arms. Trixie pulled back from the embrace carefully laying Katya down on to the couch and settled the blanket on Katya's body tugging it around her small feet. Trixie walked to the kitchen opening the fridge. Three RedBulls a few paprikas and some milk. Trixie sighed and went through Katya's cabinets and found nothing, not even bread. How did this woman live? Did she order in every day and if she did how did she manage to look that good? Trixie chuckled a bit before taking a post-it note, writing on it. Once she was finished with that Trixie filled up a glass of water and walked back into the living room placing the glass on the coffee table and the note next to Katya's head.

_You have no food woman! And I'm hungry so I'm going to the store. I'll be right back._

_Love Trixie ♡_

It was short but Trixie wanted to keep it brief because the store was down the street so Trixie doubted Katya would even wake up by the time she was back. Trixie got dressed in her clothes from yesterday and she grabbed the keys from the pocket of Katya's coat closing the door very quietly. She quickly walked down the street to the store getting some breakfast ingredients but also something Katya could easily cook later tonight. Trixie picked the items and went to the self check out before she left back to Katya's place.

When she got inside she could hear water running. Trixie walked in a bit further noticing that the glass of water was empty and Katya was gone from the couch. Trixie wanted to give Katya some privacy so she walked to the kitchen taking out all of the items she just had purchased and putting them on their own places. Trixie walked back into the couch and in less than five minutes Katya was out of the shower with a towel on her head and another one around her breasts. Trixie watched as Katya walked up to her taking her hand and guiding them into Katya's bedroom.

"I uh, saw your post-it note.. I hope I haven't starved you too much." Katya said chuckling a bit pulling out clothes from her drawer.

"Oh no not at all.. I was just wondering how you survive here with no food really. I really enjoy food so I have my cabinets full of food, or used to have, now that I live with Dela I can't take up all her space with noodles." Trixie giggled slightly at her own words.

"Oh well mama the store is so close I'd rather take a short walk everyday there to get something to eat rather than fill up my fridge with nonsense." Katya said before disappearing behind a bamboo folding screen Trixie hadn't paid attention to last night.

"I think that's a good strategy." She said simply. 

Katya only hummed in response and after a few minutes she stepped out from behind the screen.

"Too weird for a doctors appointment?" She asked looking down at her attire.

She was wearing her lime green biker shorts, that made her legs look so good, with an oversized black t-shirt with the poster from the movie Shining on it. She wore a black chocker with a pair of bright yellow lighting earrings. She hadn't yet put on any make up or done anything to her hair but she looked gorgeous. 

Trixie smiled widely shaking her head.

"No. Definitely not too weird." She said smiling as she sat down on the bed.

"Don't you lie to me Stacy." Katya threatened, joking of course, following Trixie to the bed.

"I'm not lying!" Trixie said lifting up her arms like she was defending herself at a shootout. "You look so beautiful." Trixie continued resting her hands on Katya's knees now.

Katya turned more to Trixie and she rested her hands on Trixie's rubbing them softly.

"You on the other hand look terrible." Katya said softly and a grin appeared on her face.

Trixie fake gasped loudly flying her hands in the air. Katya only laughed and after a few seconds Trixie joined her. Trixie rested her hands again on Katya's knees where they were a few moments ago and Katya placed hers on Trixie's hips inching her closer. The laugher was gone and the moment got more serious. Trixie looked down at Katya smiling softly and Katya smiled back at her. They inched closer to one another their hands moving on each others bodies. Katya scooted her legs up above Trixie's so could get closer and finally bring their lips together.

Trixie had very much enjoyed the kiss from last night but this was something so much better. It wasn't the middle of the night and she hadn't enjoyed wine and she wasn't tired. It was broad daylight and Trixie knew this was the person she wanted to kiss forever. Katya pushed herself more on Trixie's body eventually making her fall on her back on the bed. They chuckled against one another's lips, kissing one last time before pulling away. 

"Uh, would it be okay if I came with you to the doctors appointment today?" Trixie asked quietly really afraid that Katya would turn her down.

"I don't see anything wrong with that. You know you just can't actually come in with me.." Katya spoke softly as she laid down next to Trixie.

"Oh I know that, but I'd really like to be there for you, before and after."

"Well I'm really okay with that." Katya said smiling.

"Okay good. Although I really do have to get changed. Could we stop by my place so I can just shower quickly and change my clothes?"

"Oh sure, besides I haven't seen Dela in a while. It would be nice to catch up with her." Katya said.

They didn't stay at Katya's place for much longer. Together they made breakfast and after that Katya put on her makeup and straightened her hair leaving it open. Pretty soon after that they left. The walk to Dela's apartment wasn't long, maybe twenty minutes or so. Once they got in Trixie cleaned out her space on the sofa letting Katya stay there while she'd shower. Dela's apartment was a bit smaller than Katya's. Katya observed the room and everything in it until she heard a familiar voice.

"Well look who it is sitting on my couch?" Dela beamed walking over to Katya.

"Dela! Oh my gosh it's been forever." Katya smiled and gave her friend a hug.

They had first met at a Zumba-lesson a few years ago but that was brief. They really became friends when they had met again at the ice-cream shop. In the beginning there were only the two of them working there so they spent a lot of time together getting to know each other. Even though they really were opposites in almost everything they still had common interests and they respected one another enough to be friends despite their different lifestyles.

"Trixie told me she is going with you to the doctor. Is everything alright?" Dela asked as they pulled back and sat on the couch.

"Oh yeah well.. You know how I have my mood stabilizers so we are upping my dose. I don't know why but it feels like things are getting out of hand again." Katya said with a small sigh.

"Well you know you can always talk to me if you need to." Dela said with a smile. "Or Trixie."

Katya chuckled a bit and blushed. She wasn't exactly sure how much Trixie had told of them to Dela but she knew she had told something.

"Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Dela continued.

"Trixie?" Katya said frowning slightly.

"Yeah. I mean this is kind of weird because I'm friends with the both of you but in very different ways. I mean I've known Trixie all my life and she is like a little sister to me. And then there is you, someone I didn't think I would become friends with but here we are and I'm so glad we're here. But I also know your empathy and how you don't want to hurt others." Dela spoke.

"Yeah I often isolate myself or make myself the stupid one so it's easier to someone to hate me or whatever. I'm kind of being cruel to be kind almost." Katya followed.

"Well that is really what I actually wanted to talk about. Whatever is going on with your mental health or the doctors appointments please keep Trixie up to date. I know that she can get really freaked out at first and she's not the best with handling big things. So just know that. Because no matter how much I love you I love Trixie more, so if you hurt her.."

"I won't!" Katya said. 

"I know you won't." Dela said chuckling a bit. "But just.. Go easy on her. Because I know how much she cares for you so it's really hard for her as well to see you go through this."

Katya nodded and took Dela's hand in hers.

"We actually talked about this this morning when I had, well, a small moment lets just say that. And I explained it to Trixie that she doesn't have to do anything for me or be here with me if she doesn't want to. The last thing I want is to be a burden to her and the reason she's hurt. So yeah, if I ever hurt her that will be my last day because I can't life with myself if I hurt her." 

Dela smiled at Katya squeezing her hand.

"Good."

The bathroom door opened and Trixie stepped out watching the two of them on the couch.

"Are you over here talking sweet stuff? And should I be worried that I'm being replaced?" Trixie joked walking over to the drawer Dela had emptied so she could have some of her clothes in there.

Both Dela and Katya laughed assuring Trixie there was nothing to worry about. It took Trixie about an hour to get fully ready but they were in no rush. They had a few hours to spare and all three of them huddled up on the couch watching Game of Thrones. Dela had made them some tea and they had laughed together and debated which one of their favorite characters would die and which ones would get all the way to the throne. After a few episodes Trixie and Katya left saying their goodbyes to Dela. They borrowed Dela's car and Trixie drove them to the doctor's office. They got there 10 minutes early and together they sat down in the waiting area.

"Nervous?" Trixie asked.

"Eh, not really. I don't think there's much happening besides me telling how bad it's been lately." Katya spoke and watched Trixie look down.

"Hey. The time that I've sent with you has been amazing and the thing I always keep looking forward to. So don't think you'e bringing me down. You are the one I need." Katya continued and watched as Trixie's face lit up now.

"I'm so glad to hear that. And I don't know what you talked with Dela about, but I am here. I am here for you only." Trixie said taking Katya's hand and squeezing it. 

Katya smiled at Trixie lifting their hands up and placing a kiss on Trixie's hand.

"Thank you." 

A few moment went by and Katya was called in. Trixie waved a small goodbye to Katya as she walked away entering the room the doctor had come out of. He was youngish, in his thirties maybe, Trixie had thought. Trixie kept herself entertained while Katya was gone. She scrolled through her phone, read some of the magazines that were in the waiting area. Trixie looked at the clock. It had been thirty minutes. Trixie didn't know how this worked or how long it would take but she waited. Another five minutes went by before the door to the room Katya was in opened and the doctor walked out Katya right behind him. To Trixie's surprise they walked off to a different direction entering a different room. Confusion took over Trixie. Wasn't Katya only supposed to go in for a chat? Another ten minutes went by and Katya finally returned to the waiting area. She was holding her left forearm where she had a slightly bloody tissue taped to her.

"What happened?" Trixie asked.

"They took some blood. I don't really know why. I guess to make sure everything is alright before they up my dosage." Katya said shrugging. "The results are supposed to come later tonight and the doctor will text me if everything is alright." 

Trixie sighed. For a moment she had thought something bad was going on. They walked back to the car and Trixie drove Katya home. The drive was mostly silent but it wasn't awkward. They made comments of the songs that played on the radio and laughed at stupid commercials. The sun had set about ten minutes ago and the sky was pink and orange at the same time. Trixie reached Katya's apartment and pulled over to the parking lot. They both got out of the car Katya sitting on the steps of her building smoking a cigarette and Trixie standing in front of her hands in her pockets. 

"I know smoking is really bad but I can't help it." Katya spoke out first.

"Hey I'm not judging but it would be awesome if you could stop, it is sort of disgusting." Trixie chuckled.

"Yeah I know." Katya said taking one last drag from her cigarette before dumping it away.

Katya stood up talking a few steps down while Trixie took a few up and they met each other. Katya was slightly taller than Trixie her chin at the level of the top of Trixie's head and she wrapped her arms around Trixie's shoulders and Trixie's hand moved around Katya's waist. Katya leaned down nudging their noses before pressing her lips on Trixie's. The kiss was soft but deep. Trixie had somehow just grown used to the taste of cigarettes and didn't actually mind it at this moment. Their hands tightened around each others bodies as the kiss deepened and Trixie brushed her tongue against Katya's lips before slipping in. Katya's hands found the back of Trixie's hair and she tilted her head to the side pushing Trixie to press kisses on her neck. Once again they were out in the open for everyone to see but it felt like they were the only people on this planet. Trixie placed a few kisses on Katya's neck before pulling away resting her head on Katya's chest hugging her closely now.

"Katya?" She spoke out.

"Yes?"

"Will you tell me results of your blood test when it comes? I don't think I can sleep before I know." 

"I will tell you." Katya whispered against Trixie's hair. "I don't think that there's anything wrong though."

"I hope you're right." Trixie said pulling back looking up at Katya now.

Katya looked down at Trixie smiling a bit. She cupped Trixie's cheeks and leaned down giving Trixie a small kiss.

"Well whatever it might be I'll tell you." Katya said softly tracing her thumb across Trixie's lip where her lipstick was smudged.

"Good. Thank you." Trixie said hugging Katya once again.

They stayed there embracing one another not wanting to let go. They had agreed to sleep at their own places tonight, since tomorrow was Monday and they both had classes, but even tomorrow seemed too long for both of them. They held each other until Trixie pulled back looking up at Katya.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Trixie said softly.

"Yeah I'll see you tomorrow." Katya said placing one last kiss on Trixie's lips before they both pulled away waving their goodbyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> katya being just katya is EVERYTHING.  
> this chapter is a bit longer than usual but i hope you liked it anyway. also please keep in mind that i have no idea how the medical system or whatever works in the us so this is not accurate. 
> 
> i have an instagram @ whynotwasabii if you ever feel like you wanna chat about anything ❥  
> thank you for reading!!


	8. Addicted to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie smiled for a second before her face dropped.
> 
> "Girlfriend?" Trixie asked.

Katya hadn't slept at all. She had been tossing and turning for hours before she had given up and just stayed awake. She didn't need much sleep but she had tried to go to bed earlier because recently Katya had tried to better her unhealthy habits. For Trixie. All she did was for Trixie. She tried to better her ways: smoke less, drink less energy drinks, go to sleep earlier, eat properly and exercise. And she had been somewhat successful but sometimes the bad moments got to her and she smoked a pack a day or drank more than three RedBulls. After saying goodnight to Trixie around 1:30am Katya had stayed awake. She knew that the results wouldn't be sent this late time but she still wanted to wait and see, just in case. She needed to know she was okay. She had to be.

It was now 6:48 in the morning and Katya's alarm would go off in twelve minutes. Katya huffed sitting up on her bed. She reached for her medication swallowing it down with a glass of water she had brought herself in the middle of the night. Katya stood up and walked to the kitchen Nelson following her. She gave him his food and then changed the water in his bowl before walking to the bathroom. Every morning Katya looked at herself in the mirror and she felt she looked more tired. Katya sighed and brushed her teeth before she stepped into the shower. She felt terrible. She hadn't slept at all. The bad thoughts had kept her up all night. What if she wasn't fine? What if she was sick?

No. Katya refused to let the bad things take control over her mind. She washed herself and got out after 15 minutes. She tried her body and tossed her hair up with the towel before walking back into her room. It was now 7:10 and this early in the morning Katya didn't feel like getting dressed in her clothes that she had picked for herself yesterday, so she pulled on some underwear and the dirty sweatpants from the floor. She startled when her phone started ringing and she walked over to her bed picking it up and answering it. 

"Hello?"

"Katya Zamolodchikova?"

"Yes."

"Hi, this is nurse Jankovic, do you have a moment to discus the results of your blood test?"

"Yes I do."

"Alright, I'll patch you through to the doctor."

"Okay."

Katya took a deep breathe. She wasn't ready for this. Well she wasn't ready for bad news. She didn't know what to think, what to feel, what to say when the doctor would finally start talking. Katya shook her head. She was fine. She needed to be. She would be. 

"I'm fine. I'm just fine. It's okay. I'm okay. I'm fine. Everything's fine." 

Katya kept her eyes closed but they opened wide when she heard the line finally connect.

"Katya?"

"Yes."

"Good morning. Alright I'm gonna go through with the results with you now."

"Okay."

"Everything seems to be okay. Both of your red and white blood cell counts were a bit on the low side but that's nothing to worry about. It's fairly common and it would explain your tiredness. But you just keep taking those iron pills and it should be solved with that. From these blood tests I see no reason why we couldn't up your medication. You can pick up them from the pharmacy, okay?"

"Yes.. Is that is?"

"Yes that is it Katya."

"Oh okay, thank you."

Katya hung up the phone and she couldn't believe it. She _was_ fine. She felt relieved but on the other hand she was a bit confused thought. She still had those old thoughts haunting her mind: why was she this depressed for no reason when otherwise her life was so good? And now it was extra good since Trixie was in it. But still she had her bad days and dark moments. Katya decided then and there that it would not matter and she wouldn't think about it anymore. Besides she needed to get ready. Trixie was picking her up in about an hour.

* * *

Katya was running down the stairs when she heard honking outside and she giggled knowing it was Trixie waiting for her outside. Katya jumped down the last few steps her black dress hitching up her thighs before she landed to the ground. She had matched this black t-shirt dress with some white bulky sneakers. Her hair was on two small buns on her head and she had decorated them with white scrunchies. She ran over to the car her white backpack bouncing on her bag.

Katya didn't say anything but instead she got in the car leaned over cupping Trixie's cheeks and bringing her close for a kiss. It was soft and short but Katya kept giving Trixie little pecks on her lips before Trixie chuckled slightly and pulled back resting her hands on Katya's wrists bringing them down.

"Well hello to you too." Trixie laughed looking over at a smiling Katya.

"Hi." Katya beamed. "I'm fine."

"What?" Trixie said, confused now, furrowing her brows.

"The doctor called. I'm fine!" Katya beamed.

"Oh Katya that is great!" Trixie exclaimed.

She pulled Katya closer to her once again kissing her deeply. They held each other close, well as close as you could get inside a car, and their kiss could have turned into a full on make out session hadn't a car driven by and honked at them. They pulled back from each other laughing. They exchanged one more quick kiss before they headed to school. Katya played with Trixie's fingers on her free hand while she listened to Trixie talk about something. Katya was in such a haze of happiness and bliss that she couldn't focus on anything.

Katya's day had completely changed around after finding out she was fine and it had turned into an amazing day when she saw Trixie. Trixie really was the light in her life now. Whenever she saw her or talked to her and even imagined her, her day got better. Katya was completely hooked and there was no turning back anymore. She tried to capture that energy on her paintings of Trixie. All four of them were done but Katya still went over the canvas adding some detail into them. Most of the people in her class were done with their collections and tomorrow they had their final class together. On Wednesday after school they would stay and decorate the school walls with their works. Katya was done but because she had spare time she decided to paint one extra work. But this wouldn't go in her collection. This was for Trixie.

After art class Katya excitedly headed to math class because she knew Trixie would be there. They got to class and they settled down on their regular seats at the front of the class. Once everyone got in Mrs DuJour started going over the theory but neither Katya or Trixie was particularly interested in what she was saying. They sat at the front of the class so Trixie was at least pretending to be listening but Katya on the other hand was fully keeping her eyes on Trixie. Katya saw how Trixie squirmed under her eyes and Katya grinned. Trixie was wearing a yellow dress that had a pocket on the front. She wore a tight white shirt under it and her white boots hit just above her knee. Katya whipped out her phone typing on it. She watched how Trixie frowned and looked at Katya who was only smirking.

K: you look _so_ hot rn

Trixie rolled her eyes put started typing something back. Ever since they had shared their first kiss Katya hadn't had the chance to tease much. She missed it.

T: You couldn't have picked a worse time to get horny. We're in class. 

K: math is boring

T: Yeah well, it's not like we're gonna get out..

K: oh mama, you're so wrong..

T: What are you planning.  
T: Katya, no!

K: ask to go to the bathroom

T: Katya no. As much as I want to we can't.

K: oh sure we can, just do it, pls  
K: i need to kiss you

That was it. Trixie bit her lip and looked at Katya. Katya was smiling back at her when she raised her hand. Trixie got the permission to leave class. She walked down the hallway taking her phone out from the front pocket of her dress.

T: OK now what?

Trixie didn't have to wait long until she felt two arms wrap around her middle. Trixie yelped slightly and Katya covered her mouth giggling.

"Shh. Come on." 

Katya unwrapped her arms and took Trixie's hand guiding them through the hallways to the bathrooms. Katya let go of Trixie's hand checking every booth before turning back to Trixie smirking. She walked to the main door locking it. 

"Katya what are you doing?" Trixie asked as Katya walked back to her wrapping her arms around her once again.

"I'm gonna make out with my girlfriend and I don't want anyone to interrupt us." Katya said smiling.

Trixie smiled for a second before her face dropped.

"Girlfriend?" Trixie asked.

Katya bit her lip and nodded.

"Yeah. I like you a lot, you like me a lot.. So yeah. You wanna be my girlfriend.. right?" Katya asked suddenly getting scared of rejection.

A wide smile appeared on Trixie's lips and she nodded rapidly. 

"Yes. I want to be your girlfriend." Trixie beamed.

"Yay!" Katya beamed before getting on her tiptoes and kissing Trixie.

Trixie kissed her back her hands landing on Katya's waist tucking her closer. Katya moved her body against Trixie's as she felt the taller girl tuck at her dress. Katya pushed Trixie further until her lower back hit the sink counter and Katya's left leg settled between Trixie's legs. Trixie moaned as Katya placed open mouth kisses along her jawline and her hands wrapped around Katya's shoulders pulling her closer to her skin. Katya hummed at Trixie's response and kissed her further down, meeting her neck. Katya tucked at the straps of Trixie's dress going over her shoulders. Trixie moaned a small _yes_ and Katya's hands worked them out of the way. Katya's knee rubbed against Trixie's crotch hitching up her dress.

"Katya.." Trixie moaned softly into the air.

Katya pulled back from Trixie's skin looking into her eyes.

"You want me to stop?" Katya asked while her hands were running up and down Trixie's arms.

"God no. Just.. hurry up." Trixie whispered before smashing their lips together again.

Katya smirked against Trixie's lips and her hands pulled down Trixie's shirt her hand slipping in her bra grabbing Trixie's nipple. Trixie moaned into their kiss and Katya gave Trixie's breasts a proper squeeze. Katya's hands worked slowly but firmly on Trixie's body, her leg grinding against Trixie's crotch.

"More. Please." Trixie whispered.

Katya lowered her hands to Trixie's waist pressing them closer together before slipping her hands under Trixie's dress. Katya slid down her pantyhose cupping her whole hand against Trixie's wet middle.

"God Trixie you're wet." Katya whispered against Trixie's lips before kissing her again.

"Well no wonder.. you're such a tease." Trixie murmured.

Katya pulled back from the kiss smirking looking Trixie in the eyes. She slid her index finger against Trixie's panties finding where she was most wet. Trixie hissed slightly as Katya pulled her panties aside and slipped the tip of her finger into her wetness.

"Well I do enjoy being a tease." Katya whispered, looking at Trixie while slowly moving the tip of her finger inside Trixie. "But I've had enough of that."

And with that Katya pushed her whole finger in and Trixie gasped loudly. Katya smirked looking at Trixie's surprised face before giving her a kiss.

"Shh baby I'm gonna need you to be quiet." Katya whispered. "Can you do that?"

Trixie nodded and threw her head back her letting her hair fall down.

"Good girl." Katya said before moving her hand adding in another finger.

Trixie opened her mouth about to gasp but she bit her lips together. Katya enjoyed watching Trixie like this. She moved her fingers at a steady pace, never stopping. After a few minutes Katya slid her thumb against Trixie's clit. Trixie whispered out Katya's name obviously enjoying this a lot too. Katya smirked and kissed Trixie's neck, her free hand wrapping around Trixie's middle keeping her close. Katya felt as Trixie's body started to tremble and her breathing got faster so she added in a third finger. Trixie moaned out loud now but Katya did no longer care if someone heard them. Katya thrusted her fingers a few more times and rubbed her thumb against Trixie's tender spot before she came all over her hand. Katya pulled out her fingers and gave Trixie's clit a few more rubs with her thumb before she pulled her hand away.

"God you're so hot." Katya whispered against Trixie's neck before pulling her up with her free hand and bringing their lips together.

They kissed softly, not for long since Trixie was still out of breath. Katya pulled some paper and wiped her hand clean before looking at Trixie again. Trixie pulled up her panties and pantyhose before wrapping her arms around Katya kissing her.

"I can't wait to return this favor to you later." Trixie whispered.

"I very much look forward to it." Katya spoke before wrapping her arms around Trixie's neck kissing her deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuu girl.. ;)
> 
> i was having such a writers block before this day. i'm moving so i've had to do a lot with that so i haven't had the time/energy to write these past few days but that's about to change (i hope lol). i'm happy with how this chapter turned out even though it's kinda random and not even that necessary but next one will be the art & music event chapter so stay tuned, possible DRAMA happening!
> 
> thank you for reading!!! <3


	9. Yellow Cloud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay finally trixie is performing her songs. in this story trixie is the one who has written the songs, but obviously the songs belong to real life artists. the songs i used are yellow cloud by trixie mattel and remedy by adele
> 
> also their outfits are the ones they wore on unhhhh on the gay episode :))  
> i'll leave a link of it here so you can check it out  
> ok ok i'll stop now. enjoy <3  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOOcJGar2zI&t=10s

* * *

Thursday rolled around fairly quickly. Trixie had rehearsed her songs with the band every day this week and she was excited to finally get to perform them tonight. Trixie had been over the moon happy when she and Katya had become girlfriends on Monday. Nothing made Trixie happier than to be Katya's girlfriend and now get to show it. Not that they were rubbing it in people's faces but they held hands in school and would give each other kisses before parting their ways to different classes. When Trixie had gone to rehearsals yesterday Katya had kissed her goodbye, the band had giggled and when Trixie finally joined them they told her it was about time they came out of the hiding. Apparently it had been really obvious to people that they had something going on. Trixie had been a bit embarrassed about it for a moment but she was glad everyone knew that Katya was with her.

Trixie was going through her clothes trying to find her pink dress. It was one of her favorites because it had cute little puffy shoulders and a nice white detail on the front with buttons. She had done her makeup and hair already. She had put on pink eyeshadow to match her dress and she wore one of her favorite pink lipsticks. The color was subtle more like a baby pink rather than really pinky pink. Half of her hair was up on a bun behind her head and she had curled the rest of her hair giving it a wavy look. Trixie finally found her dress and she slipped it on with some white stockings and walked over to the mirror being more than satisfied with her look.

Trixie needed to be at school earlier than the event actually started because of the sound check with the band. She pulled on a pair of white bulky leather heals and matched it with a white leather jacket grabbing her stuff. It wasn't a long way to school but Trixie didn't want to walk in heels and get all sweaty so Dela had promised to drive her. They got in the car and Dela started driving to the school. 

"You nervous about tonight?" Dela asked.

"Not really. I mean there's only people from school in tonight and maybe a few of their friends or something." Trixie replied.

Dela hummed as the stopped at a red light.

"Well I'm sure everyone will love your songs because I've heard you sing them every day." Dela chuckled. 

"I hope so." Trixie said smiling. "It's awkward performing if the people listening don't like it."

"It's gonna be great. And Katya's gonna love it too, I know that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not worried." Trixie said. But she was.

Even though they had became girlfriends earlier this week it still felt really raw to sing these songs and basically pour her heart out to Katya. To sing her dreams and future plans.

"It's going to be just fine." Dela said grabbing Trixie's hand and giving it a small squeeze before she took a turn and parked the car in the school parking lot.

"Thanks Dela." Trixie said and smiled at her friend before she got out of the car.

* * *

"And now as the final performer of the night please welcome Trixie Mattel!"

Trixie was standing behind the curtains as she took a deep breath and walked out. The gymnasium had a small stage and the rest of the space was filled with chairs. As Trixie walked to the microphone she saw that the every seat had been taken and there were people standing even by the walls. Trixie recognized most of the people, they went to school with her, but she saw that there were also parents and siblings and random people in there. She didn't see Katya however. She knew that Katya would be here because she had her art work up on the walls somewhere. Trixie reached the microphone and smiled waving a bit. The clapping slowed down and Trixie opened her mouth to speak.

"Hey guys, how's it going? Yeah as Asia just said my name is Trixie and I have a few songs to play tonight. I hope you like them." She spoke.

There were a few claps and excited whistles when Trixie turned and grabbed her guitar pulling the strap over her head adjusting it. Trixie turned to the audience again and looked up. There she was. Katya was standing by the back wall her fingers laced together underneath her chin waiting excitedly. She was wearing a dress Trixie hadn't seen before but it sure did look good on her. The dress was basically a black strapless dress with a red long-sleeved collar shirt attached to it. Her hair was curled and it rested perfectly on each side of her head. Trixie smiled widely.

"Alright this first song is called Yellow Cloud and it's written for a special someone.." Trixie said smirking a bit before winking at Katya and the beat of the song started.

_I can see us in a small town_   
_You count the stars up in the sky_   
_I never thought that they could fall down_   
_Onto your suit or on the tie_

_Across the table at a French place_   
_I lose my way into the wine_   
_With your glasses on your pretty face_   
_We can go up, baby we can float up_

_Say we'll never come back down_   
_To the place in the yellow cloud_   
_Yours forever, thumbtack down_   
_Ooh, ooh_

Trixie kept her eyes on Katya and Katya only. She wasn't looking at anyone else, she didn't even lower her gaze to look at her guitar. The song kept going and Trixie saw in her vision how people were clapping along to it and swaying their bodies. But she wanted to see Katya's reaction. Katya was smiling widely her fingers still crossed but they were against her legs now. Her head was swaying along to the beat. Katya wasn't much of a music person, Trixie knew it, but she could tell Katya was enjoying this.

_The days are runnin' at a slow pace  
_ _And all the glitter in between  
_ _And all the fallout from the won race  
_ _I'm Miss American Teen_

_I can see the picket fences  
_ _I can see you mow the lawn  
_ _We got no fear and no pretenses_

_We got nothin' but our sunglasses on  
_ _When we're older, we stay the same  
_ _Couple losers who won the game  
_ _And it gets colder, but it never rains_

Trixie saw how Katya was biting her lip her expression different. She was serious now. Trixie hoped this was a good serious though. She suddenly felt naked having sang her feelings out. People were liking it, Trixie could tell but the only thing that mattered was that Katya liked it too. The songs reached its end and people were clapping wildly and cheering but Trixie was still waiting for Katya's reaction. She finally saw how Katya burst out smiling, clapping her hands rapidly. Trixie felt relieved and let out a wide smile.

"Thank you. Thank you." Trixie thanked the audience.

People calmed down again and stopped cheering so Trixie could speak. She was about to perform the last number of the night which had only the piano and guitar in it. Aja, a girl from her class, settled behind the piano and nodded to Trixie telling her she was ready.

"Alright everyone this song will be the last of this evening but there is still some amazing things happening tonight. The art of the super talented students has been put up for you to see and the comedy show will start in a half an hour so don't miss that." Trixie spoke. She tuned her guitar a bit and swayed softly from her right leg to left before speaking again.

"We all have bad moments and days. Days when we're hurt and the pain is too much. You can feel so alone, so sad, so frustrated. But.." Trixie looked right into Katya's eyes now. "Just know that it's okay, and that there are people for you."

There were a few cheers and claps and Trixie broke their eye contact looking down starting to nibble the strings of her guitar.

"This song is for you K." Trixie said before Aja joined with the piano and the song took off.

_I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be  
_ _So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe  
_ _Right before my eyes I saw that my heart it came to life  
_ _This ain't easy it's not meant to be  
_ _Every story has its scars_

_But when the pain cuts you deep_   
_When the night keeps you from sleeping_   
_Just look and you will see_   
_That I will be your remedy_   
_When the world seems so cruel_   
_And your heart makes you feel like a fool_   
_I promise you will see_   
_That I will be, I will be your remedy_

Trixie looked up at Katya. She saw how she was trying to hold back tears. Trixie smiled slightly before continuing.

_No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you_  
_Come whatever I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through  
_ _Your love, it is my truth  
_ _And I will always love you  
_ _Love you_

Trixie kept her gaze on Katya. The stage and the back of the room were far apart but Trixie could still see that Katya was crying now. Trixie didn't want to make Katya cry. She wanted to stop the song right there walk through the room and hold her. Trixie was just about to stop the playing when she saw Katya tilt her head to the side and give her a huge smile. Trixie felt relieved and looked down at her guitar playing into the verse one last time. 

The song ended and everybody was standing on their feet clapping and cheering once again. Trixie smiled. She felt good that so many people had enjoyed her performance but she only cared about the fact that Katya liked it. Trixie thanked the audience one last time before putting down her guitar and exiting the stage going into the locker room. The rest of the band was there and they cheered when she walked in telling her how good she was.

Then there was a knock on the door and it opened. Katya was standing there. Her makeup was slightly smudged from crying but she still looked gorgeous. Katya walked right over to Trixie wrapping her arms around Trixie's neck and pulling her in for a kiss. Trixie wrapped her arms around Katya's middle pulling her closer and after a moment they pulled away. Everyone awed around them and Trixie giggled a bit. The band gave Trixie one last round of compliments before heading out of the locker room closing the door.

Katya leaned in once again pressing their lips together. Trixie tilted her head and deepened the kiss knowing this would smudge their lipsticks together and she would have red lipstick on her which she normally hated but now she couldn't bring herself to care. Katya's hand travelled into Trixie's hair grasping it gently. They pulled back and Katya looked deep into Trixie's eyes.

"Did you like the songs?" Trixie asked carefully.

"Did I like them? No." Katya said and Trixie took in a sharp breath. "I loved them.” Katya said smiling widely.

Trixie let out the breath she was holding in and chuckled.

"Don't do that." Trixie said nudging Katya by the waist.

"I'm sorry." Katya whispered, clearly not sorry. ”But really I loved them, you had be at yellow.”

Trixie chuckled bringing Katya closer for a quick kiss before pulling back and taking her hand. 

"Come on loser. I wanna go see your paintings. You haven't told me anything about them." Trixie spoke as the guided them out of the locker room.

"Well I didn't know anything about your songs. If I knew I would've brought tissues." Katya said.

Trixie huffed slightly before walking off into the lobby holding Katya's hand. They wondered around for a while looking at other people's art works before they reached Katya's. Katya said nothing but she let Trixie realize on her own that the collection she had painted was of her. Trixie hummed while looking at the paintings, she really liked them. But she frowned and then her face dropped and eyes widened. It was her.

"You painted me?!" Trixie whispered.

Katya shrugged and then her body tensed up. "Are you mad?" She asked.

Trixie looked at Katya realizing she had painted her. Then she looked at the paintings and shook her head.

"No, I'm not mad.. I'm just confused that's all. Why did you paint me?" Trixie asked looking back at Katya now.

"Well our assignment was to paint this collection from the first thing that came to our mind from the word bliss. And I though of you. So I painted you." Katya said.

Trixie traced her finger over one of the paintings and her mouth opened. 

"The detail on these are crazy. I love them." Trixie said beaming.

"I'm so glad." Katya said smiling widely now.

"What does that red thing mean?" Trixie asked pointing to the small red piece of paper on the wall.

"Oh.. I didn't even see that." Katya said her eyes widening.

"What? What does it mean Katya?" Trixie asked again.

"It means someone wants to buy it.." Katya said looking at Trixie in slight shock.

"Wow Katya that's amazing." Trixie said but Katya shook her head.

"Yeah I guess so. I don't know if they can do that though, because this is just a school art event, it's not like this a proper gallery." Katya said.

"Well who cares? You can sell it and get some good money!" Trixie said.

"Yeah.. But then I won't have these to remember you by.."

"Remember me by? Why would you need these when you can see me every day." Trixie chuckled a bit.

Katya chuckled and took Trixie's hand.

"You're right." Katya said kissing Trixie's hand. "Besides I got a surprise for you." 

Trixie arched her brows but followed Katya closely when she guided them through the crowds. After a few moments they reached an empty hallway and Trixie realized they were heading to the art classroom. Katya opened the door walking them in and closing the door behind them. The room was dark and there was nothing but the tables and chairs with some cabinets and art supplies. 

"Why are we here?" Trixie asked.

Katya pointed at the back wall.

"Pull that sheet down." She said and Trixie walked hesitantly over to the sheet.

"If it's something scary I'm gonna kill you." Trixie murmured before pulling the sheet down exposing a huge painting.

The painting had two women on it, naked and tangled up with each others bodies. They were both blonde, one had longer hair than the other. Their fingers were laced together and their other hands were holding each other close. The woman with the shorter hair was throwing her head back while the other one had her lips pressed against her neck. The detail on the bodies were amazing and the background was smudged with multiple different soft shades of red, orange, yellow and purple. Neither of their faces had been showcased in the painting but Trixie could tell it was them. She bit her lip before she felt Katya wrap her arms around her middle.

"You painted this?" Trixie asked almost breathless.

"Yes I did." Katya whispered against Trixie's neck.

"And this is us?" 

"Yes. Or I just though of you and how good you make me feel so yeah this is what I painted."

"This is gorgeous." Trixie whispered and put her hands on Katya's.

Katya hummed and squeezed Trixie a bit tighter in her arms. 

"I thought it would be a bit inappropriate to put it up for everyone to see but I wanted you to see it." Katya chuckled.

Trixie turned around it Katya's arms placing her hands on Katya's cheeks.

"You should put it up." Trixie said.

"What?" 

"You should put this up with the rest of your collection." Trixie said. "This is gorgeous and I want everyone to see it."

"Are you sure?" Katya asked.

"Yes I am sure." Trixie said, leaning down and kissing Katya. She pulled back before Katya even had a chance to answer the kiss properly.

"Alright, lets take it out there."

Together they pulled the sheet over the painting once again and carried it out. They hung it up together and revealed it at the same time. They let other people watch this masterpiece from the other side of the huge lobby, giggling over the fact that this painting was portraying them.

During the evening Katya was approached by a tall thin woman with grey hair. She had an accent and told Katya she collected art pieces that she saw something special in. She had made Katya an unbelievable offer of thousand dollars a piece and three thousand for the newest work to be put up. Katya had no idea why she offered so much for something she had literally done for a school art evening but Katya accepted the offer. She didn’t necessarily need the money but she liked having some extra. The woman, who called herself Maxime, had transferred the money to Katya and left with the paintings by the end of the event.

Trixie and Katya were standing outside the school holding hands.

”Wanna come over?” Katya asked swinging their hands.

”Sure.” Trixie said smiling bringing Katya’s hand up and kissing it.

”I feel weird about the paintings.” Katya confessed as they walked towards her apartment.

”Well.. you can always make new ones. Your model isn’t going anywhere.” Trixie said wincking her eye.

”I’m relieved.” Katya chuckled.

They reached Katya’s place exactly at 10:30pm. They got rid of their shoes, threw their bags away and fought who’d get to go pee first. After Trixie had gone first, Katya entered the bathroom. At the same visit to the bathroom she brushed her teeth and got rid of her makeup. She stepped out offering Trixie her products to get rid of her slightly heavier makeup and Trixie agreed thanking Katya. Katya got them both a glass of water and around 10:50pm they were snuggled in Katya’s bed with Nelson sleeping by their feet. 


	10. Make This Go On Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***this chapter contains some serious smut***

School had ended a week ago and it was officially summer now. After the art event last week Katya had asked Trixie to stay with her full time and Trixie had agreed. She hadn't fully moved in with Katya though most of her stuff was still at Dela's place. They had spend almost every moment together during this past week and Trixie couldn't be more happy about it. She liked being around Katya so much and the feeling was mutual. 

They had done normal things around Katya's apartment like cooked together, arranged some space for Trixie's favorite clothes that she had brought over and played with Nelson. They had built a fort from the couch for Nelson to sleep in. He didn't care for it as much as his own bed in Katya's room but he did take some naps in there. Nelson had really grown to like Trixie always sleeping in her lap if they were watching tv or just hanging out on the couch. Trixie really liked their little life together. 

They didn't have much planned for this evening just preparing some of the snacks for tomorrow. All of the girls from the ice-cream shop had agreed to spend the day together on a picnic and later have a party at Shangela's place. She lived on a penthouse just outside the town. All of them had settled on what they would bring and it was up to Trixie and Katya to bring brownies and cupcakes. They could have bought them already made but they wanted to bake them themselves. 

Trixie walked in behind Katya through the door and put down the bags she was holding. 

"I need to pee." Katya said running into the bathroom not bothering to close the door behind her.

Trixie chuckled and closed the front door taking off her shoes. She picked up the bags and walked into the kitchen pulling out the ingredients they had just bought from the store for the brownies and cupcakes. She put everything in place looking around a bit before finding a small apron in one of the drawers tucking it on. She was just about to tie the ribbons behind her waist when she felt Katya's hands take them. She pulled it tighter than necessary and crept close behind Trixie placing a soft kiss on her exposed neck.

"You look so sexy in this." Katya whispered letting the ribbons go and now wrapping her arms around Trixie's waist.

"God you are impossible." Trixie huffed brushing her hair out of the way trying to place the ingredients in the order they would be used.

"Ohh but you love it." Katya whispered.

"Mhh well, that's true. But these aren't gonna bake themselves." Trixie said leaning into Katya's touch a bit.

"We can do it tomorrow.. Let's enjoy ourselves tonight." Katya said pressing her lips on Trixie's skin again.

Trixie leaned her head back closing her eyes letting Katya's hands explore her body. She felt her hands move under the apron finding the zipper of Trixie's denim jeans that they had colored pink a few days ago. 

"I hope you washed your hands." Trixie murmured and she felt Katya scoff against her shoulder.

"You are rotten mama." Katya said, pulling the zipper down pushing both of her hands inside her shorts. 

Katya dragged her fingers carefully against the side of Trixie's thighs before she pushed the shorts down. Trixie swallowed hard as she felt Katya's hand move to her front her fingers tracing the line of her panties. 

"You still wanna bake or..?" Katya lingered, her fingers making small circles on her panties.

"You are such a tease. I hate you." Trixie whispered turning around in Katya's arms.

"No you don't, come on." Katya said with a low voice guiding them into the bedroom.

Katya pushed Trixie against the wall in her bedroom and closed the space between them kissing her hungrily. She moaned against Katya's lips intending to deepen the kiss but Katya pulled away. 

"Get rid of your clothes." Katya whispered. "I'll be right back."

Trixie huffed a bit as Katya left the room leaving her alone. But she did as she was told and stripped from her clothes leaving on her underwear and bra. She sat down on the bed leaning against her arms and Katya came back with a glass filled with ice. Trixie frowned but she didn't ask any questions as Katya laid it down beside the bed.

"Didn't I tell you to get rid of those?" Katya asked her fingers finding her own zipper pulling her shorts down exposing her black lingerie.

Trixie swallowed hard as her eyes scanned Katya's body. They hadn't properly had sex yet, they sure had done a lot of other things but this would be their first time. Trixie nodded and sat up a bit bringing her hands behind her back opening the clasp of her bra letting it fall off. This surely wasn't the first time Katya had seen her naked but Trixie still felt conscious of her body compared to Katya's slender yet muscular body.

Trixie threw her bra to the floor and watched as Katya got rid of her shirt throwing it in the same pile. Katya walked over to the bed, kneeling on it. She placed her hands on Trixie's cheeks bringing her in for a kiss. It was soft and reassuring, just what Trixie needed in this moment. They had teased a lot and done a lot of things to each other but when it came to actually having sex Trixie still felt a bit nervous. 

Katya placed one last kiss on Trixie's pink lips before she pulled back. Trixie looked up at Katya who was smiling at her softly. They didn't speak, they didn't have to. Everything was so clear between them. Trixie sat on the bed with Katya on her knees between her legs making her the taller one. Trixie wrapped her arms loosely around Katya's waist and Katya moved her hands slowly behind her back undoing her bra letting it drop down right in front of Trixie's face. Trixie's focus moved to Katya's breasts that were significantly smaller than hers. Katya had a piercing on each nipple and Trixie brought her hands from behind Katya and traced her fingers over them making Katya bite her lip. Trixie knew she had them but she had never seen them properly. They suited Katya well making her look even sexier if that was even possible.

Trixie leaned in pressing her lips softly on Katya's left breast. She kissed all over and finally moved her lips to her nipple. Trixie sucked on it lightly taking the horizontal piercing between her lips tucking at it slightly earning a soft moan from Katya. Trixie let it go with a small pop and moved to the other breast repeating her actions. Katya's head was tilted back and her hands in Trixie's hair, holding it tightly. Trixie pulled back locking at Katya who had leaned her head back up. Katya lowered her body to sit between Trixie's legs lifting her legs over Trixie's and wrapping them around her waist. Trixie hummed slightly as their legs brushed together and she looked at Katya who was at the same level as she was now. Katya pushed a hair behind Trixie's ear before she leaned in closing the gap between.

They just kissed each other for several minutes until they had to pull back for air. Trixie leaned down to kiss Katya's neck pressing wet kisses along her fair skin. Katya propped her body up helping Trixie to move her legs straight forward so she was now sitting in Trixie's lap. Katya wrapped her arms around Trixie's neck pulling her in closer drowning her in her neck but Trixie was more than happy to be there. Katya gripped Trixie's hair yanking her away from her skin. She reached to her side taking the glass of just ice and looked down Trixie with a small grin.

"Lay down for me baby.." Katya spoke softly and Trixie did as she was told. 

Katya propped her body up once again, popping an ice cube between her lips and getting on all fours above Trixie. She put down the glass and crawled back a bit before she leaned down tracing the cold cube against Trixie's bare stomach. Trixie gasped at the first touch of the ice but soon she got used to it. Katya made small circles on her stomach with the ice her hands resting on each side of Trixie's head. Trixie leaned her head to the side pressing a kiss on Katya's wrist before she felt Katya pull back a bit. Trixie watched as Katya pushed herself on her knees pulling her hair back. She picked up a new ice cube and came back down but this time a bit lower. Katya dragged the ice just below Trixie's bellybutton before she moved lower tracing the line of Trixie's white silky underwear. Katya had once said she found silky underwear sexy and Trixie had gone and bought herself like ten pairs. 

Trixie made small moans as Katya dragged the ice back and fort her panty line but Trixie needed more though so she bucked up her hips. Katya quickly moved her gaze looking at Trixie and she gave Katya a quick nod before laying her head back down. Katya brought the ice up Trixie's stomach leaving it in Trixie's bellybutton before moving down again. She pressed a few soft kisses just above Trixie's underwear before she hooked her fingers around it from the sides pulling it away from her heated skin. Trixie arched her back and lifted up her hips helping Katya pull them all the way off. Trixie took a deep breath and closed her eyes when she felt Katya return her head between her legs. Trixie felt how Katya reached in for her third ice letting the one on her bellybutton just melt away as time passed. Katya held the ice between her fingers tracing it carefully over Trixie's pubes before she felt Katya's lips on her inner thigh. Trixie had shaved just yesterday but she always left some hair down there feeling too exposed with no hair.

Katya lingered her lips on Trixie's thigh for a while before she settled herself closer. She hooked one of her arms around Trixie's leg pulling it to the side gently stretching her more open. Trixie moaned softly when she felt Katya's lips on her middle. Katya held the ice on Trixie's pubes pressing a few soft kisses on Trixie's clit before moving up to take the ice between her lips again. Trixie bit her lip and squeezed the pillow under her head as Katya moved the ice down her wet center. Katya wrapped her other arm around Trixie's other leg and kept her legs apart when she tried to close them up as Katya ran the ice against her clit. 

"Katya." Trixie breathed out.

"Mhh?" Katya let out while still keeping the ice between her lips running it along Trixie's center.

"I need more. Please."

Katya lifted her head and looked up at Trixie. She smiled softly and crushed the ice with her teeth swallowing the remains that turned into water. 

"Your wish is my command." Katya said and pushed herself up and out of the bed.

She walked to her dresser, looking for a minute, before finding a vibrator. Trixie propped herself up on her arms as Katya settled back in between her legs. Katya stretched her body over Trixie's kissing her passionately. Katya's hand ran up Trixie's side coming to her cheek cupping it softly. Katya pulled away and trailed back down between Trixie's legs pressing wet kisses on her body along the way. Katya licked her fingers before she ran them against Trixie's folds repeating this movement a few more times before she slowly inserted her index finger inside Trixie and she moaned arching her back into Katya's touch biting her lip. 

Katya reached to the side grabbing the vibrator turning it on and bringing on Trixie's clit making her moan louder. Katya hummed to herself being satisfied that she was able to pleasure Trixie this good. She pressed her lips against Trixie's inner thigh before she added in another finger pumping in and out in a fairly good rhythm Trixie's body moving along to the same pace. Katya could tell Trixie was close so she removed the vibrator from Trixie's clit and she immediately saw how her body relaxed. Trixie let out a frustrated groan and Katya smirked bringing her mouth down to do the work. Trixie's body started trembling as soon as Katya's tongue hit her clit and Katya added in a third finger feeling Trixie clench around her. It didn't take more than a few seconds and Trixie was coming. Katya pulled her head back placing soft kisses on Trixie's leg letting her two fingers slip out leaving one in riding off Trixie's orgasm. Trixie's hand flew down her body searching for Katya. Katya smiled at this gesture and she climbed on top of Trixie lacing their fingers together before kissing her deeply.

"You're amazing." Trixie whispered against Katya's lips before she rolled off Trixie laying down next to her.

"I know, right?" Katya chuckled against Trixie's shoulder pressing a kiss there.

Trixie chuckled and turned her body to her side facing Katya.

"Yeah it still doesn't mean that you shouldn't be pleasured the same." Trixie said softly.

"Oh.." Was all Katya said as she raised her brows with a smirk on her face.

Trixie pushed herself up slightly reaching by their feet for the vibrator and coming back up. She tossed it to the bed next to Katya's middle before she positioned herself between Katya's legs. Trixie smirked slightly as she lifted each of Katya's legs up bringing them together before laying them both on her shoulder. Trixie moved her fingers to Katya's underwear pulling it away slowly watching Katya's every expression. Trixie saw how frustrated Katya was, incredibly built up from her own actions just minutes ago. Trixie wanted to do this right and succeed in her actions wanting to make Katya feel as good as she had made her feel. Trixie tossed Katya's underwear somewhere behind her before she moved Katya's right leg to her left shoulder parting her legs. Trixie leaned down pressing her lips on Katya’s bending her legs with as she leaned over Katya’s body. Trixie grabbed the vibrator and pulled back slightly. She turned it on and slowly moved it over Katya's clit earning a gasp from Katya.

"Tell me when you want more." Trixie whispered and Katya nodded rapidly.

Trixie's upper body rested against Katya's bent legs that were on her shoulders and Trixie was sitting on her legs, keeping them open to let her hand have enough room to work. Trixie rubbed the device slowly against Katya and watched how her expressions changed. Katya didn't even have to say when she wanted more because Trixie could see it and each time she added speed to the vibrator Katya hummed in satisfaction. Trixie ran her free hand up Katya's flat stomach stopping when she got to her breast giving it soft squeeze before rubbing her finger against her nipple feeling the metal of the piercing through the delicate skin. She enjoyed how Katya moaned and squirmed underneath her touch. Trixie flicked her finger against Katya's piercing before she slowed down the speed of the vibrator. Katya groaned as she was reaching her peak and Trixie pulled the device completely away from her.

"What are you doing?" Katya breathed out looking at Trixie.

Katya didn't have to wait long for an answer as Trixie lowered her legs down from her shoulders. Trixie rolled on her back pulling Katya right after her making Katya straddle her now and Trixie moved her body positioning her head under Katya's middle. Katya chuckled a bit realizing what Trixie was doing and she lowered her body to Trixie's mouth as Trixie’s arms wrapped around her legs that rested on each side of her head. Katya moaned when she felt Trixie's tongue enter her and the vibrator return to her clit. Trixie kept it at a medium pace not needing it to go full speed since she could sense that Katya was close. Katya moaned and her hips rolled at the same pace as Trixie's tongue inside her, her hands massaging her own breasts. Trixie switched the position of the vibrator and Katya was coming. Katya's body fell forward her hands falling to rest on her own thighs as she breathed rapidly looking down at Trixie whose tongue still twirled inside her. 

Katya chuckled slightly before she felt Trixie remove her tongue and moved her body to free Trixie from underneath her. They laid down next to each other both a bit breathless. Katya laid her head on Trixie's arm and it wrapped around her body as soon as she was properly settled in. Their legs were sweaty and tangled up and the sheets were messy under their bodies. Katya kept her eyes closed and her brows were frowned a bit.

"Are you okay?" Trixie asked.

Katya looked up at Trixie and shook her head. 

"Uh yeah, I just think there's a headache coming." Katya said pursing her lips a bit.

"I'm gonna get some water for us." Trixie said pushing herself up from the bed.

Katya didn't want Trixie to go but she knew she'd be back soon so she let her go. And Trixie did return in a minute or so with two glasses of water and some painkillers. Katya had told her where her medication "storage" was and she was proud of Trixie for remembering where it was. Katya swallowed the pill chugging down the whole glass of water and watched Trixie empty her glass as well. Katya smiled as a thank you and moved back making room for Trixie to rejoin her in the bed. They laid together in silence playing with each others fingers and hair kissing each other softly every now and then.

After a while Trixie had stopped making circles on Katya's stomach and she looked down and saw that Trixie had her eyes closed.

"Trixie?"

"Trixie, are you awake?"

No response. Katya really wanted to say something but she didn't want to wake Trixie up so instead she just pressed her lips on Trixie's forehead before whispering.

"I love you Trixie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asfkjkf smuuut!!!! and also first i love you, too bad that Trixie wasn't awake to hear it :(
> 
> i tried my best to write this good but idk, i’ll let y’all decide if it’s good or not haha.
> 
> hope you liked it, thank you for reading!! <3


	11. Someone To Watch Over Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **just.. beware**

Trixie woke up the next morning alone in Katya's bed. The events of last night came back to Trixie’s mind and she smiled widely. The last thing she could remember before falling asleep was snuggling in Katya's arms. Trixie turned to her side and saw Nelson sitting on the bed next to Katya's pillow and she smiled giving him a quick pet before pushing herself out of bed. She walked to the drawer and pulled out one of her oversized shirts and entered the living room but Katya wasn't there. Trixie looked around the corner into the kitchen seeing all the muffins and brownies already made. Trixie frowned and looked at the clock. It was only 10am. Trixie knew where to look next and she did indeed find Katya in the balcony. Katya had a cigarette on the other hand and a Starbucks coffee on the other. Trixie joined her and Katya immediately put out the cigarette not wanting to taint Trixie with the smell.

"Good morning gorgeous." Katya said smiling weakly.

"Morning." Trixie said taking a seat next to Katya. "How long have you been up? I mean you've baked and apparently gone to get coffee."

Katya shrugged slightly and sighed deeply. 

"I never really went to sleep. That headache kept me going and it's still there." Katya said bringing one of her palms to her forehead.

Trixie pouted a bit before scooting in front of Katya cupping her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry babe." Trixie said before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss on Katya's forehead next to her hand.

"It's fine or whatever." Katya said dryly but looked up at Trixie and smiled.

"So what did you do all night then?" Trixie asked taking a seat on the ground between Katya's legs, resting her head on Katya's knee.

"Well I mainly just watched you sleep. Then I tried painting something but it actually made the headache worse so I went back to looking at you."

"Well that's creepy." Trixie said jokingly and they both laughed a bit. 

They stayed there enjoying the fresh air of this Friday morning. Katya ran her fingers in Trixie's hair really wanting to say the words she had said last night. This time Trixie would be awake and hear her but that also scared Katya very much. She knew Trixie cared for her, hell she wouldn't be here if she didn't like her but love, that is a big word. After about thirty minutes of just sitting there, Katya enjoying her coffee and Trixie enjoying her hair being stroked, they went back inside.

They walked to the bathroom together entering the shower simultaneously. They washed the sweat from yesterday off of each other, gently rubbing the soap all around. Trixie actually wanted to wash Katya's hair and she let her. Trixie was careful but thorough gently massaging Katya's scalp. She turned Katya to her pressing a soft kiss on her lips before washing the coconut scented shampoo off. She gently squeezed the excess water from Katya's hair before applying the conditioner. Once she was done with that she wrapped her arms around Katya's body pressing soft kisses on her shoulder earning a moan from Katya.

"Is the headache getting any better?" Trixie questioned before running her hands gently over Katya's breasts her lips still lingering on her shoulder.

"Keep doing that and it might disappear.." Katya murmured leaning back into Trixie's touch. 

Trixie only hummed against Katya's skin moving her hands down her body finding her front. Katya moaned once again leaning her head fully back now, her head resting on Trixie's shoulder. She turned her head to the side pursing her lips and Trixie met her halfway. They gave each other soft kisses as Trixie gently rubbed her finger against Katya's clit before she turned around in Trixie's arms wrapping her arms around Trixie's neck. She opened her mouth to say the words but nothing came out. She looked down between them before resting her head on Trixie's shoulder.

"Katya?" Trixie asked softly running her hands up and down Katya's sides.

"Mhh?" Katya hummed and closed her eyes.

"Are you okay?" 

It took Katya a few moments before she simply answered. "Yes. I'm fine."

Trixie lifted her hand and used it to tilt up Katya's head looking deeply into her eyes.

"Are you sure? Because.. Because I'd hate to be the one doing something wrong and bombard you with my presence here all the time and-"

Trixie was cut off by Katya's lips on hers. They melted together in a soft kiss before Trixie pulled away.

"Katya please.." Trixie said.

Katya moved her hands to grab Trixie's in her own squeezing them tightly.

"Don't you ever think you are the one doing anything wrong. It's me and my mind. My new medication has really kicked in I think and a lot of the times I don't feel anything, except when I'm with you and you touch me and kiss me. You are the one keeping me sane and here. I.. Without you in my life I don't know if I would still be here."

Trixie frowned a bit shaking her head. "Here? As in Boston?"

Katya bit her lips together and shook her head. "No.. Alive."

Trixie took in a sharp breath tears coming to her eyes.

"Katya.."

"No Trixie. I'm.. I'm a mess. The day I met you I was actually going to try.. That morning I had decided that I would.. you know, end it." Katya said looking down. She felt like crying but nothing came out.

"Katya.." Trixie cried out now.

"But I didn't. Because of you." Katya whispered softly the water still running on her back. "I just.. I don't want to make you feel responsible for me. That you're somehow at fault. Because that's not true. But I also don't want to make you feel stuck, like you can't ever leave me alone. I just.. It's so complicated, what's going on in my head. I don't know how to talk about things without scaring people away."

Tears ran down Trixie's cheeks melting together with the water from the shower. Trixie shook her head and bit her lips together before speaking.

"Katya. I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you might need I'm here, or if it gets too much you can ask me to leave, to have some alone time. That's perfectly okay. I just want to be with you and have you in my life one way or another. I wouldn't know what to do if you were suddenly gone, I..." 

Trixie cried again and Katya moved her hands up cupping her cheeks.

"And I'm not going anywhere. I want to be here because of you. I want to be here _with_ you.” Katya said her voice breaking a bit.

Trixie smiled sadly before she leaned down to meet Katya's lips. They reassured each other with soft kisses and hugs. After a while of just holding each other they washed themselves clean of everything leaving the shower. They got ready together not really talking much. Their conversation in the shower had been so deep that both of them needed to just be silent for a moment. Katya packed the brownies and cupcakes into containers before they headed out to the park. 

They walked hand in hand again in silence just enjoying each others company. Trixie had on the pink denim shorts from yesterday and a oversized white t-shirt with pink flowers on it. Her make up was light and her hair was straightened and open, swaying left to right as they walked. Katya was wearing a loose black dress with small flowers on it with fishnet stockings and her Doc martens. She really loved those shoes and wore them religiously. Her hair rested on her shoulders and she had gone for her traditional red lipstick and dark eyes makeup look.

They reached the park around 12:30 and saw some of their friends already there. Dela waved at them motioning for them to sit next to her. The girls knew they were together and always asked them a bunch of inappropriate questions which Trixie usually just laughed off and sometimes Katya would give them the absolute truth and a little bit more to get them to shut up. But neither of them really minded it because they knew they were just messing with them. Kim was already there with Dela and after a few moments Morgan and Shangela joined them too. They set up all the blankets and placed all the food in the middle, sitting on a circle around them. Around one o'clock Adore joined them with her girlfriend Bianca. Once they were all there they settled down just catching up and talking about whatever came to their mind.

Trixie sat up and had Katya between her legs resting down her body. Trixie could tell the headache was still bothering Katya and she gently ran her fingers through Katya's hair. Katya hummed slightly resting her hands on Trixie's knees that were up. 

"Would you two just get a room already?" Adore joked loudly.

Trixie huffed and smirked. "We have a whole apartment, so no." 

The girls laughed clapping their hands together making Katya wince slightly. Trixie noticed this but only pressed a soft kiss on her head knowing Katya didn't want to draw attention to herself.

"Come on I brought a frisbee let's go through it." Shangela said and Morgan and Dela were already on their feet.

"Yeah I'll join! Trixie? Katya?" Dela asked.

"I'm gonna sit this one out and just enjoy the sun." Katya said faking a smile on her face. She really needed this headache to go away.

"I'll come." Trixie said. She looked at Katya who lifted her body from hers and blew Trixie a kiss as she got up.

"Well you are one to talk about getting a room." Trixie beamed pointing at Adore and Bianca who were kissing. They pulled back and Adore got up pulling Bianca with her.

"Party!" Adore squealed. "We're gonna take a small walk." She continued dragging Bianca with her.

"Adore please I don't wanna fuck you in a bush again." Bianca joked and all of the girls laughed as they walked off.

Everyone else but Katya left a little bit further away to throw the frisbee. Trixie kept her eyes on Katya as much as she could, focusing whenever someone said her name throwing the flat piece of plastic at her direction.

"What's up with Katya?" Morgan asked.

"She's got a headache." Trixie said throwing the thing to Shangela.

"Aw poor thing I hope it goes away soon." Dela said.

"Well yeah I really hope so because it started last night after.." Trixie trailed off.

"After what?" Kim questioned.

"Nothing." Trixie hurried to say but the other girls were howling at this point.

"Come on Trixie just spill the tea!" Morgan beamed pushing her friend slightly.

"Yeah come on tell us!" Kim joined in.

"Well we kinda just had sex, no big deal!" Trixie hurried to say.

The other girls cheered and clapped their hands jumping up and down until they heard Katya groan from the blankets.

"Trixie! Do you have to talk about our sex life _here?_ " Katya questioned. Trixie would have felt bad about it if there hadn't been a playfulness to Katya's voice.

"I'm sorry!" Trixie yelled back and the girls continued throwing the frisbee around.

"Is she actually mad?" Shangela asked.

"No no, I doubt it." Trixie said smiling.

"Well let's see." Shangela said and threw the frisbee at Katya's direction. It landed right next to her body and Katya looked up huffing slightly.

"Are you mad?" Shangela yelled.

"Yes, I'm very mad." Katya said jokingly and rested her head back down.

The girls laughed and looked at Trixie. 

"I think you have to go make up." Dela said and the other girls cheered Trixie to do it. 

Trixie looked at her friends and shook her head before starting to back her way over to the blankets. She was facing her friends trying to think what she would do to Katya to make her "forgive her". Trixie turned around still having some distance to the blankets. She saw Katya's body twitch a bit as she got closer.

"Honeyy, don't be mad. I'm sorry." Trixie said taking her fake apology over the top.

Katya didn't say anything but her body started twitching rapidly, almost shaking.

"Come on Katya! You're wife came to apologize!" Morgan yelled and Trixie chuckled before she reached Katya.

"Katya." Trixie said frowning a bit as Katya continued to shake.

It wasn't until foam started coming out of Katya's mouth that Trixie realized what was going on.

"Katya!"

Trixie was on her knees her hands moving above Katya's body not knowing what to do.

"Trixie?" Kim called out. 

"Someone call 911! She's, I don't know having a seizure!" Trixie yelled.

The girls were by her side taking a hold of Katya's body.

"We need to turn her to her side." Kim said moving around Katya.

"Trixie I need you to hold her head." Dela said moving next to Trixie grabbing Katya's shaking legs.

"What.. I don't, I don't know." Trixie mumbled.

"Trixie hold her head in place." Dela said more sternly and Trixie moved her body above Katya's cupping her hands around her head holding it in place while Dela and Kim turned Katya to her side. 

"What do we do? How do, what?" Trixie breathed out tears running down her eyes.

"We can't do anything, we just need to wait for it to stop." Kim said gently.

Trixie cried looking down at Katya. 

"Katya. Hold on. It's gonna be okay, I promise. Hold on, hold on."

Katya was still shaking when the paramedics arrived in just a few minutes. They asked everyone to move back but Trixie refused. 

"Trixie you need to let them do their job." Shangela said softly.

"No. I'm not leaving her." Trixie said crying holding Katya's head.

"We're gonna take good care of her, but right now we need you to move. Now." The male paramedic said softly but sternly.

"No.." Trixie murmured through tears. She felt hands on her arms pulling her up.

"Trixie come on." Dela said pulling her back.

"No! Trixie screamed but Dela was stronger and pulled her away. 

"No! No! NO!" Trixie screamed while tears ran down her face.

Trixie's body kept trying to return to Katya's side but Dela was holding her tightly. Adore and Bianca had returned after hearing Trixie's screams and everyone watched as the paramedics held Katya on her side trying to keep her still as her body was shaking. It finally stopped and Katya's body relaxed but it looked like all the life had been sucked out of her. Trixie kept her eyes on Katya's face hoping she would just open her eyes and be fine, but Trixie could feel that she was far from being fine. She watched Katya's head fall back a bit as the paramedics lifted her on a gurney moving her towards the ambulance. Trixie's body followed as much as Dela let her walk forward. Trixie watched them load Katya into the car and close the doors. The sirens went off and the car took off.

Trixie fell to the ground her legs giving out. She felt like she couldn't breathe. Her whole body trembled as she cried watching the ambulance drive away out of her sight. It felt like bombs were going off in her chest. The fear took over her and she wrapped her arms around her body trying to process what was going on. What if Katya wasn’t going to be fine? What would she do without her? She didn’t to have a life without her. She felt Dela's arms on her again as she lifted her back up on her feet.

"Come on Trixie, let's go." Dela hurried to say, walking them off to her car.

Trixie let Dela and Kim walk her to the car not trusting herself to stay up on her own. Trixie sat down on the front seat and Dela had to put on her seatbelt for her because her own hands wouldn't move. Kim hopped on the backseat and Dela sat behind the wheal driving off after the ambulance to the hospital, Morgan Shangela Adore and Bianca following them with Morgan's car. The whole ride Trixie kept looking at her hands trying to make them move again, but she couldn't. She didn't know what to think or do. She didn't know anything. All she knew that she needed Katya to be fine. All she needed was Katya.

They got to the hospital and Trixie somehow managed to move her body again. She had rushed out of the car before Dela had even fully parked the car and she ran right into the emergency room. She stumbled to what looked like a nurses station leaning on the counter trying to keep her body up.

"Um, I'm here for Katya. She just came in, she had a seizure and I don't know what else. Uh she has blond hair, bangs, she was wearing a black dress and fishnets and she had red lipstick and she might smell from cigarettes but she had this rosy perfume and-"

"Yes we know her. She in this the trauma room being examined." The nurse said calmly and Trixie was about to take off and wander to find Katya when her friends rushed in the door, holding her back.

"Trixie you need to let them work." Kim said softly as Dela held her back again.

"I know but I just need to see her, I need to know she's alright." Trixie cried panicking. 

"We will keep you updated." The nurse said looking at Trixie. "I promise. But right now we need you to go to the waiting area. Here." She said stepping away from the counter. "Let me take you there."

Trixie sniffled looking at all the doors in the ER wondering which one Katya was behind before she let the nurse walk them away. Trixie sat down on the chair Dela sitting right next to her taking her hand. 

"She will be fine Trixie, she's strong." Dela said rubbing her hand against Trixie's back.

Trixie's body just rocked back and forth on the chair her mind going to very dark places. What if Katya wasn't going to be fine. What if she would.. die. Trixie closed her eyes letting all the tears run down her cheeks. She truly didn't know what she would do without Katya. And the worst part was that she hadn't even told her how she felt, how much she loved her. She did. She really did love Katya and she needed to let her know. She couldn't let Katya go without her knowing it.

Ten minutes went by and a doctor walked into the room. It had felt like ten hours to Trixie but when the doctor asked for Katya's friends she stood up immediately her friends following.

"Is she alright? What happened? Is she going to be alright, when can I see her? Is she awake?"

"Miss you should take a seat." The doctor said.

"No." Trixie breathed out. "Is she.. She isn't.. is she?" 

Trixie couldn't say the word dead because she refused to believe that Katya was gone. She couldn't imagine her world without the small blonde woman.

"No, she's still alive." The doctor started and a weight was lifted off of her chest. "But she's still unconscious. Are you her family?"

Trixie took a shaky breath. No. She wasn't her family. But she knew that her parents were in Russia and they wouldn't be able to just fly here right this second.

"I'm her girlfriend. Her parents live in Russia." Trixie started but was stopped by the doctors hand.

"Okay. There is really no time to waste. Katya suffered a stroke. She has a tumor and it ruprured causing her to seize since there is excess blood in her brain. Now we need to operate on her as soon as possible to stop the bleeding so she won't suffer permanent damage."

"Tumor.." Trixie breathed out. "I didn't.. I didn't know she had a tumor." 

"Miss we really to get started. Now I need to let you know that your girlfriend was conscious in the ambulance and wanted to let you know that she loves you." 

Trixie could feel her heart squeeze. She fell back down into the chair and Dela was by her side. 

"Thank you, now please save her." Kim said, thanking the doctor who headed off.

Trixie's heart beat so fast she was sure it was going to just explode inside her. Life without Katya would be no life. She needed her. Trixie sobbed quietly in her chair her friends coming around to comfort her. She was grateful for it but right now her mind was on Katya. She had a tumor. And she hadn't told her about it. Or did she even know about it. There were too many questions and no answers. The seconds went by slowly and the minutes felt like hours. There was no updates for hours. At some point Trixie had fallen asleep on her chair and beat herself up for it, not knowing how she could sleep when she knew Katya was in surgery. The hours went by painfully slow. She didn't eat, she couldn't. She didn't even have a drink. She felt like if she would consume anything it would come right out. Adore and Morgan had left because they had shifts at the ice-cream shop and Shangela had promised to update them as soon as they would hear anything. Bianca had also left with them, since she wasn't really anyone's good friend. She sometimes just hung out with all of them but they always ended up leaving somewhere with Adore.

Trixie didn't know how many hours went by because the hours felt like days, weeks even. But now she was standing up once again in front of the same doctor as before. 

"She survived surgery." The doctor started and Trixie wanted to just cry and fall to the ground but she kept listening. "We won't know about the damage in her brain until she wakes up. You should probably be in contact with her family. She needs to have another surgery to remove the tumor." 

Trixie shook her head not understanding. 

"Why didn't you remove the tumor now doctor.." Trixie looked down at his coat with his name on it. "Doctor Shepherd."

"The tumor is located in a difficult place and we need to make a plan to remove it. Also we need her consent on the surgery if she wants to have it."

"Why wouldn't she want to have it?" Dela asked.

The doctor sighed before holding his hands together. "As I said the tumor is located in a difficult place and removing it is very risky."

"How risky?" Trixie questioned.

"This type of surgery has a 10% survival rate." He said softly.

Trixie gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

"And if you don't take it out?" 

"I'd say she has about six months to live."

Trixie's legs were giving out on her and she had to sit down. Dela sat by her again taking her hand trying her best to comfort Trixie but she too was shocked. Six months. Six months. Trixie kept saying those two words to herself not believing the situation she was in. It felt like a nightmare she desperately needed to wake up from. The doctor allowed them to see Katya now and as Trixie saw Katya hooked in so many machines, her head covered with a white gauze, she knew this wasn't a nightmare she could wake up from. The doctor let them stay with her telling them if they needed anything the nurses would be on watch 24/7. Trixie sat down on the chair scooting it closer to the bed Katya was laying in. She grazed her finger on Katya's hand tears falling down to the sheets. Her eyes moved up to look at Katya's face. Her makeup was almost all gone. Trixie watched as Katya's chest rose up and down. She looked so lifeless.

Trixie stayed with her the whole night. There were no changes in her state. The only noises in the room were the beeps of the machines and Trixie's sniffles. In the morning the doctor came to check up on Katya. He checked her eyes, writing down something in her chart before she walked to Trixie.

"Her vitals seem normal, so now we just have to wait for her to wake up." He said.

"Is there a chance.. That.. Is it possible that she won't.."

"Wake up. Is there a chance that she won't wake up?" Dela finished Trixie's question.

The doctor looked down and nodded a bit.

"It's always a possibility that you won't wake up after a surgery like this. Her seizure lasted pretty long so we really won't know the extent of the damage until she wakes up."

"If she wakes up." Dela said with a questioning voice.

"Yes. If she wakes up." The doctor said and left the room.

Trixie sighed looking at the monitors around her. She didn't really understand what was going on. All she knew that Katya had to be fine. Because she needed her.

"Trixie you should get some sleep. You can come to my place." Dela said softly.

"No. I'm staying. I need to be here when she wakes up." Trixie said pulling her legs up to her chest holding Katya's hand.

"Trixie.." Dela started.

"No Dela! I'm staying." Trixie said her voice stern. "There should be someone watching over her and it should be me. I'm not leaving her." 

"Okay. I can take care of Nelson today." Dela said softly. She walked around the bed giving Trixie a kiss on the top of her head, grabbing the keys to Katya’s apartment from her pocket and leaving the room.

Trixie was left alone in the room with Katya. Or the shell of her. She wasn't really Katya without her smile her eyes or her laugh. Trixie held Katya's hand in her own a few tears running down her cheeks.

"Katya?"

"Katya, can you hear me? I don't know if you can hear me but if you do I love you. And I'm right here. And I will be right here. I'm not going anywhere. I love you. Okay? I love you so much. Please wake up soon okay. Because I need you. Earlier you said that you needed me but I need you too. So please baby, wake up. Wake up for me. Live, live for me, for us, for our future. I need you."

Trixie let the tears run down her cheeks as she rested her head on the bed. Trixie felt like she was talking to herself, that’s how lifeless Katya looked. What Trixie didn't know though that Katya could very much hear her every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full circle barbara...  
> i'm actually speechless of what happened but it all makes sense now.  
> also i name all my chapters after songs so you can always listen to the song before reading a chapter to help you get into the right vibe.  
> anyway i just hope katya wakes up soon..  
> thanks for reading!


	12. Fix You Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We did what we thought was best. We didn't know she would make it this long." Her fathers words confused her. What did he mean by that?
> 
> "Yes but we knew! We knew she had a tumor. We knew and we didn't do anything about it." Katya's mother cried now.

* * *

It had been four days since the surgery. The minutes went by so slowly and it was pure torture for Katya. She could hear, smell and feel everything that happened around her but she couldn't move. She couldn't get herself to wake up. She felt trapped in her own body and the thing that was absolutely killing her was not being able to let Trixie know she was okay. Trixie was there every single moment of every single day. She hardly moved from her side. One time she had left the room to get a coffee from the cafeteria to keep her awake. It had been less than a five minute trip but Trixie still felt guilty about it and she had apologized countless times for leaving her side for even a brief moment. Katya wanted nothing more than to just wake up, hold Trixie in her arms and tell her that she loved her.

While under this coma Katya could hear everything so she knew about the tumor and how risky the surgery to remove it was. She knew she'd have six months to live if she refused the surgery. And probably the most important thing she had heard was that Trixie loved her too. Every day Trixie received texts from their friends telling what they have been up to and that they're praying for Katya. Trixie told her about everything that was going on and she told her every single day how much she loved her and hoped she would wake up. Katya's heart squeezed every time Trixie said those three words because she couldn't say them back to her herself. She needed to wake up. For Trixie.

Katya didn't know what kind of future they would have together. She had a tumor that would kill her in six months although a surgery could fix that but the chances to survive it were slim. Katya wanted a forever with Trixie. She could see them in a big house with kids and cats and dogs. She could see them all grey and old sitting on the porch waiting for their grandkids to come visit them. She could see it all and she wanted it all. But the reality was different. She had a big choice to make. Either risk everything for an eternity or play it safe but only have a short time with Trixie. Katya really didn't know what to do. She needed Trixie to tell her, or the doctor, just someone to tell her what to do because she didn't know.

Katya heard how the door opened and the doctor stepped in. She had learned by smells who was in her presence before they would even speak. Katya would've thought she was braindead if Trixie wasn’t there, holding her hand every day. The doctor came in twice a day to check her vitals. He'd always flash a light to her eyes blinding her from seeing anything else.

"Her vitals are stable. We just need to wait for her to wake up." The doctor said softly to Trixie.

"Uhm.. It's been four days since her surgery. Is it common that it takes this long to wake up?"

Katya could hear the desperation in her voice. Katya wanted nothing more than to just scream Trixie's name and tell her she was okay but her body was not co-operating. She _needed_ to wake up for Trixie. Because Trixie needed her.

"It varies. Sometimes it takes a longer while. I'm really hopeful that she'll wake up Trixie. She is young and strong, so just keep waiting."

The door closed once again and the doctor was gone. All Katya could hear was Trixie's sniffles.

"Did you hear that Katya? He's hopeful you'll wake up. I know you can do it. I believe in you." Trixie said squeezing Katya's hand softly.

_"I know I can do it and I am going to do it. I'm gonna wake up, for_ you _."_

Trixie looked down resting her forehead on the edge of the bed.

"I called your parents, they should arrive today. They didn't seem surprised to hear about me so I guess you've been talking about me to them."

_"Yes I have Trixie, why wouldn't I tell them about you. You're everything I could ever want."_

"Anyway they said something about taking you back to Russia.."

_"Oh.."_

"Obviously I don't want you to go but I also need you to get better, so I respect whatever you or they want to do. Legally I'm no one so I don't really have a say in anything.."

_"Yes you do Trixie. You are my everything and I won't leave you, because you haven't left me."_

"So, we'll see what they want to do once they get here. I.. I honestly don't know what to think of this situation. I want to be with you for as long as I can, but now everything's changed. I mean.. Six months.. It's such a short time, but it's better than nothing. But a forever.. that would be so much better than just six months.. I don't know what to say."

_"You don't have to say anything Trixie. Just stay with me and that’s enough."_

"I wish we could have a forever together but in order to have it you'd have to survive a surgery that has only 10% chance of survival. I don't want you to do it because I've pressured you. I want you to decide what you want to do and whatever you choose I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

_"Everything I do is for you Trixie. I want to have everything with you. I want to fight for us."_

"So take your time and when you're ready just please wake up. Because I love you Katya. I love you so much."

_"I love you too Trixie, more than anything."_

* * *

The hours went by slowly. Based on her breathing and lack of speaking Trixie had fallen asleep. Her head rested on the bed next to Katya's hip her hand under her head holding Katya's. Katya could hear the door open quietly but Trixie didn't wake up. The familiar scent of her childhood mixed with traveling came to her nose. Her parents were here.

"Katya my dear." Katya could hear her mother speak before she stroked her head placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Yekatarina." Her fathers deep voice was there too, his hand taking a hold of her other hand.

_"Mom.. Dad."_

Katya's mothers eyes went to the other side of the bed scanning the sleeping blonde holding her hand.

"This must be Trixie." Her mother whispered.

_"Yes mother. She's always here and I'm so grateful for it."_

Katya heard her mother walk to the other side of the bed right next to Trixie.

"My dear.." 

Katya felt Trixie's head shoot up but her hand was still holding hers.

"What?" Trixie breathed out. "Oh.. You're here!" 

"Yes." Was all Katya's father said dryly. 

_"Dad be nice to Trixie."_

"Darling no need to be so grim."

_"Thanks mom."_

"Uh.. I can give you some time with her. I'll go wait in the hallway." Trixie said quietly.

_"No Trixie, please_ _don't go."_

"Oh dear there's no need to do that. We actually wanted to talk to you and get to know you a bit better, although the circumstance is not.. ideal." Katya's mom said sadly.

Together they took a seat next to the bed glancing at the monitors.

"So tell me about yourself Trixie." 

"Well I go to the same school as Katya. I'm there for music, I play the guitar and sometimes autoharp oh and I sing too. It's pretty cool. I uh, moved here to Boston not too long ago. I attended the school for about a month before the summer break started. I lived with my family in Wisconsin but wanted something new in my life so I moved here. I have a lot of friends here so it was a fairly easy transition and well after getting to know Katya it's been really great."

Katya felt her heart melt at Trixie's words. 

"That sounds lovely. What are your plans for the future?"

_"Mom stop quizzing her."_

Trixie took a deep breath. "Well I don't know really.. I uh.. Well my plan is to graduate from school and hopefully some day teach music to kids but I don't know. I haven't really thought about it that much. All I know is I would really want a future with Katya."

If she could cry, Katya would cry right now.

"You have to know something. You can't spend your life depending on someone else, you have to be able to carry yourself." Katya's father spoke with his heavy Russian accent.

_"Dad!"_

"Darling.." 

"No it's true.." Trixie said. "I always thought that it would be just me and I was fine with the fact that people would come and go and eventually it'd come down to learn how to be on my own.. but with Katya it's different.. I don't want her to go anywhere. I don't want a life without her. I know I can survive on my own but I'd prefer to survive with her. Because I love her."

The room was silent. Katya wanted to cry at Trixie's words. She wanted to survive with her too. Katya could hear her own breathing and everyone else's. It wasn't awkward it felt more like an accepting environment. Katya's father was strict about some things, he just wanted to protect his only daughter. He knew about her past relationships and how they hadn't gone very well. He didn't care what gender Katya dated but he cared about how they treated her.

"What will you do if Katya decides to have the surgery?" Her father finally asked, looking at Trixie.

"I uh.. I'll support it. And hope and pray that she is in that 10% who survive. Of course I'd want to spend as much time with her as possible before the surgery. As much as she wants me to be around. It is her life and she should decide who she wants to spend her time with."

_"You Trixie, I want to spend my time with you."_

"And what if she doesn't want the surgery?" Her father asked again.

"I'll respect whatever decision she wants to make. As I said it's her life. Of course I'd want her to fight for her life, to have more time with all of us, but I can't ask her to do that when she could lose her life in the process. So I will just support her and be there for her."

"What if she asks you to decide? To make the decision for her?"

"Knowing Katya she will want opinions and someone to decide it for her." Her mother said.

Trixie took in a sharp breath before exhaling.

"I'd ask her to have the surgery. It's very risky but the price is the rest of her life. More time for us, for everything. Six months is nothing compared to 80 years. But if she wouldn't make it, the time that we have spent together to this day have been the best of my life, and I can't thank her enough for that. I'll cherish our time together forever. She has given me more than I ever even dared to dream of." 

Silence again. Trixie's words touched Katya deeply and it made sense to try and fight in order to gain the rest of her life. But still Katya didn't know what to think. She could have a guaranteed life with Trixie but only for six months or she could gamble for her life and gain the rest of her life with Trixie or she could lose it all and die. It was all too much to think about alone. She needed to wake up to talk to Trixie about it.

A few days went by and nothing had changed. Her vitals were still stable and there was no reason for her to not wake up. Unless she had suffered brain damage during her seizures or the surgery, damaging her brain permanently. Trixie had left the room to go to the cafeteria leaving Katya with her parents.

”Darling..” Her mother spoke.

”Yes?”

"Do you remember that time that Katya was five and she fell down with Danny's bike? She wanted to be a big girl and ride the big boy bike. But it was too big and she fell down."

"Yes I remember." Katya's father said his heavy Russian accent filling the room.

"I remember how we took her to the doctor then to make sure everything was okay. She was yelling from the back seat "Mama I'm fine, I wanna go play". But I wanted to make sure she was alright."

Katya remembered that day. She wanted to be a big girl and ride her brothers bike down the street. She remembered how her short legs couldn't quite reach the pedals and she lost control over the bike and fell down. Her knee was scratched open and her arm had a big gash in it. She remembered how her mother made her go to the doctor but she didn't want to. She just wanted to play, plus she was a little afraid of the doctor back then.

"Well the doctors examined her and there was nothing wrong with her but they wanted to do an MRI to check nothing was wrong with her head." Katya could hear her mothers voice break. Her mother wasn't a super sensitive person so it surprised her a bit.

"We did what we thought was best. We didn't know she would make it this long." Her fathers words confused her. What did he mean by that?

"Yes but we knew! We knew she had a tumor. We knew and we didn't do anything about it." Katya's mother cried now.

Hold on. Her parents knew? They had known her entire life that she had a brain tumor and they just let her live her life without knowing about it. Katya could feel her blood boil. She was so angry right now. She wanted her parents away from her side. She didn't even want to call them her parents right now. They were just two people who had been lying to her whole life.

"Yes we knew but we couldn't know she would survive with it for so long. They said it back then that she had maybe a year to live. We wanted her to have a happy childhood. We had no way of knowing she'd survive. She is 23. It's a miracle Patrice. She was given one year when she was five years old. Now she is 23 and six months. She could actually have years. We will take her home and when the time comes it comes."

Katya heard how her mother cried against her fathers chest. Katya couldn't believe it. She was angry and disappointed in her parents. How could they do this to her? And how could they now take her home without her even being awake and able to express the fact that she didn't want to go. She wanted to be here with Trixie. And she knew now that she wanted to have the surgery, to show her parents they were wrong. She would survive it and live a long life.

After a few minutes of her mother's cries Katya heard them speak again.

"And what will we say to Trixie?"

"Nothing. We take Katya home and make sure they won't speak again." 

"Can we do that? I mean that is horrible and Trixie seems like such a lovely girl.."

"Patrice, we need to think about our daughter. Not about who she is dating."

"But this will hurt Katya too.."

"She will get over it." 

Katya's blood boiled inside her and she wanted to scream at her parents. Firstly for lying to her all these years and secondly for trying to separate her and Trixie. She would not go back to Russia with her parents. She would rather stay like this forever than go back there and never see or talk to Trixie again. This way she could at least be with Trixie in a way.

The door opened and Katya could smell Trixie's perfume. She felt her walk to her side taking her hand and sit down on her chair.

"Trixie we have something to talk to you about." Katya's mother spoke softly.

"Uh huh.. What is it?" Trixie said looking up at Katya's parents.

"We want to take Katya back home. To be with family."

Trixie's heart almost stopped and Katya could feel Trixie's grip getting tighter on her hand.

"Back to Russia you mean?" Trixie spoke and Katya could hear how she was trying to hold back her cries.

"Yes. She can't have the surgery. We want to spend the little time she has with her, at home." Katya's father spoke.

Katya could feel a tear drop to her hand and she heard Trixie sniffle.

"I uh, understand of course.." Trixie spoke quietly. "What if.. What if she doesn't want to though?" Katya could hear how Trixie was afraid to ask that from her parents but Katya was so proud of her for standing up for her when she couldn't do it herself.

"Why wouldn't she want to be with her family?" Her father spoke again.

_"Because you're big fat liars."_.

"Uh yes, I guess you're right." Trixie said sniffling once again.

The room was tense now and Katya could sense the judgement from her parents towards Trixie. She didn't know who these people were anymore. She didn't understand how her life could possibly be okay if she was trapped home. She didn't understand her parents anymore, they had turned into cold people. She understood that they wanted what was best for her but this wasn't it. Making her go back to Russia and basically end things with Trixie? How was that best for her? It wasn't and Katya needed to wake up so she could gain back control over her own life again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's kind of dark and sad but i still hope you like this chapter :)  
> thank you for reading! <3


	13. Death and All His Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry Trixie but she didn't survive the surgery."
> 
> "No.. NO!" Trixie cried. "No.. Katya. Katya!"

Another three days passed and Trixie felt really frustrated with everything that was going on. Katya had been in a coma for nine days now and no changes had happened. Trixie really wanted to trust the doctor who said it was likely Katya would wake up but Trixie was still worried. On top of everything Katya's parents wanted to take her home and not let her have the surgery. Trixie couldn't deal with that. Who were they to dictate what would happen in Katya's life. She understood that they were her parents but still Trixie couldn't understand how they could so cold heartedly make decisions about Katya's life. 

Katya's parents were there everyday since they had arrived. They stayed at the hotel across the street which slightly annoyed Trixie because they were always there. Trixie kept herself and her thoughts controlled because A) she didn't want to start a fight with Katya's parents she was sure she would lose by the way and B) she didn't want to disrespect Katya. She didn't know how Katya felt about it all but she could imagine she wouldn't be very happy about it since her parents had been very vocal that they would take Katya back and not let them see each other anymore. Like what were they thinking? This wasn't Romeo and Juliet, Trixie wasn't an enemy.

When Katya's parents were in the room Trixie didn't talk much. She was afraid she would slip and say something about them plus she felt judged by her parents whenever she talked. Katya had spoken of her parents so nicely before so Trixie was really dumbfounded by what they were actually like. Trixie could sense some pity from her mother, not in a loathing way, but Trixie could sense she felt bad about this situation. Almost like she wanted to explain their reasons for taking Katya away from her but she couldn't. Trixie could tell she was holding back and it annoyed her.

Katya's father spent most of his time on the phone, talking something in Russian. Trixie was no language expert but she could hear he was talking about place tickets. Sometimes he actually switched to English his heavy accent sticking to his speech and Trixie could hear him talking about traveling with someone unconscious. Trixie couldn't believe it and once her parents had left for the evening and it was just them Trixie was grateful for their time alone, being able to express her feelings to Katya honestly.

"Katya what are you thinking of all this? I mean to me it's crazy. They want to take you back home in a few days and you're obviously still not awake. Still it doesn't seem to stop them from taking you with them. I mean that's crazy. I can't deal with it."

Trixie could feel herself getting panicked as she paced around the floor around Katya's bed. 

"I mean Katya please, can you just wake up already? I need you! I can't let them take you away!"

Trixie broke down in tears her body shaking with her as she fell to the chair. She embraced herself and cried her feelings out before she was able to calm herself down. She scooted the chair closer and laced her fingers with Katya's.

"I'm so sorry baby." She whispered against Katya's hand, placing a soft kiss on it. "I was selfish, you're the one who needs time to heal and get better. I just need to support you through this. I'm sorry."

Trixie pressed one last kiss on Katya's palm before she returned it next to her body. Trixie laid her head down on the bed closing her eyes.

* * *

The next day all of their friends came to the hospital meeting a very tired Trixie and an unconscious Katya. Dela walked in embracing Trixie as she cried softly against her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Trixie.." Dela said softly as she rubbed her hand against Trixie's back.

"Me too." She sniffled and pulled back.

"I just wish she would wake up. I need her to wake up before her parents take her away." Trixie said sadly.

She had told her friends about what was going on with Katya's parents and how rude they had been towards her.

"I'm sure she will wake up.. She's really good with timings." Shangela said with a small smile, trying to cheer Trixie up.

Trixie felt a small smile come to her lips before it faded away.

"Yeah.. I'd just want to know if she's ever going to wake up. I can't stand the thought that she'd never wake up and I'd never get to hear her voice again or feel her kiss me.. I just.." Trixie cried.

"We know baby, we know.." Morgan said walking to Dela and Trixie bringing them all for a group hug. 

Morgan, Dela, Shangela and Kim stayed there for two hours, trying to cheer up Trixie. They were able to make her smile and forget about everything for a while but as soon as they left the heavy feelings rushed back in. Trixie was tired and exhausted of staying in the hospital everyday but she wasn't about to go anywhere. Trixie rested her head once again on the bed closing her eyes. She dreamed of Katya waking up and smiling brightly. Trixie felt so happy and relieved. They kissed and held each other until all went dark and Katya was gone from her side. Trixie screamed for her name, not knowing where she had disappeared. The doctor came to her, looking down and shaking his head. 

"I'm sorry Trixie but she didn't survive the surgery."

"No.. NO!" Trixie cried. "No.. Katya. Katya!"

Trixie woke up to a beeping sound coming from above her. She looked around the room and doctors and nurses rushed in. 

"What's going on?" Trixie asked and backed against the wall as the nurses surrounded Katya.

"She's having arrhythmia." The doctor said once he stepped back from Katya's body with the stethoscope.

"Charge to 200. Clear." 

Trixie watched as the doctor placed two devices to Katya's chest shocking her body. Trixie cried out and covered her mouth. She watched as they shocked her again Katya's whole chest jumping up and then falling back down again. The beeping finally stopped and Trixie could feel coughing. She watched as the nurses stepped back smiling at her softly.

"Welcome back." The doctor said, looking down at Katya who had her eyes open.

Trixie gasped as her eyes hit Katya's open ones and she was back by her side in an instant. She held Katya's hand crying while she kissed her skin. Katya's eyes were tired and her mouth was dry. Her eyes were sloppily open as she looked at Trixie and a small curve appeared on her lips before she parted them.

"Trixie.." She spoke her voice barely audible.

"Katya.." Trixie cried squeezing her hand.

"Come here.." Katya whispered and Trixie laid her head on the crook of Katya's neck her tears hitting the pillow under her head.

Trixie pulled back after a moment and placed her hand softly on Katya's cheek, stroking her cheekbone.

"I love you Katya." Trixie said sniffling through her tears.

Katya smiled faintly and her eyes closed, simply being too weak to keep them open. Her hand came up to grab Trixie's hand that was on her cheek. She squeezed it as hard as she could, which wasn't strong at all, but Trixie still felt it and smiled widely. Katya opened her eyes again, looking deeply into Trixie's eyes.

"I love you too Trixie." She spoke and closed her mouth again pursing her lips ever so slightly.

Trixie was more than happy to kiss her and she closed the space between them. Their lips pressed against one another and Trixie felt like she could breathe again. Katya was back. 

* * *

The next day Katya's parents were on their way to the hospital from the hotel when Katya told her everything. How she could hear every word around her and how she felt Trixie hold her hand and stay by her side every day. Katya also told Trixie how her parents knew about the tumor.

"They knew? That's crazy." Trixie said.

"I know. And now they want to take me back home and not let me talk to you anymore. I'm so mad at them." Katya spoke tears coming to her eyes.

Trixie stood up next to Katya's bed where she was sitting up now taking her hand.

"I know it's really bad." Trixie said. "But you are awake now and you can decide for yourself. You're an adult and they don't have a say over this. You can do whatever you want." 

Katya looked up at Trixie tears falling from her eyes. 

"Thank you Trixie. For staying with me.. It means so much to me." 

Trixie smiled slightly and cupped Katya's cheek.

"You are very welcome." She whispered before leaning down and kissing Katya gently.

Katya's hand rose to Trixie's cheek, brushing past her hair and resting it on the back of Trixie's neck pulling her closer. Katya's tears smudged against Trixie's cheek as they kissed. Neither of them wanted to pull back, needing to feel each other to remind them this was real and not a dream. The door opened loudly and they pulled back from the kiss and looked over at Katya's parents who were standing by the doorway.

"Yekatarina." Her mother breathed out before she walked to Katya's side kissing her head.

Katya said nothing as she frankly didn't want to be around her parents right now but she allowed it. Katya watched as her father walked to the bed next to her mother smiling slightly.

"We are glad you're back." He said, smiling at Katya.

Katya glared back at her father not saying anything. Her mother pulled back from hugging her and she looked at her sadly.

"We are really glad you're awake.." She said and looked up at the man next to her motioning her hand forward.

Both Trixie and Katya watched as her father put his hand inside his jacket pulling put a plane ticket. 

"We go home tomorrow." He said simply.

"No." Katya said staring her father down.

"Yekatarina-"

"I said no!" Katya repeated herself raising her voice which caused her to cough. Her throat was still dry but luckily Trixie was by her side handing her the cup of water that was resting on the nightstand next to her bed. Her parents looked at her with confusion and a little bit of anger.

"I am not going back home. I'm staying here with Trixie." Katya said putting the water away and reaching for Trixie's hand to pull her closer.

"What makes you think you'll be better off here than at home with your mother and I?" 

"Well first of all I know Trixie hasn't been lying to me my entire life." Katya watched as her parents looked shocked. "Yes I heard you. How could you keep something like that from me?! I was a kid then but I'm an adult now. You've hid the fact that I've had a tumor for my entire life and I could have died any day. You've always said my problems are something else when all this time it's been the tumor. I've been depressed for years because of it. And you let me suffer through it, letting me think that I'm damaged and not good enough for anyone."

Tears ran down Katya's cheeks as she spoke. Trixie held her hand tightly as she continued.

"Trixie has seen me for who I am, regarding my flaws. She has stayed with me when she could've walked away. She has been nothing but supportive and patient with me. She loves me for who I truly am. And I love her. So I'm staying with her. I'll be a million times better with her than I've ever been with you. You have lied to me my whole life and let me think I'm a worthless piece of crap who deserves nothing. I am not leaving with you."

Trixie was more than proud of Katya for speaking her mind. It was the right thing to do. If Trixie's parents had done something like that do her she would be beyond pissed. Katya held Trixie close as they watched her mother cry and her father stand by her with an unreadable expression on his face. Katya stared him down until he left the room without saying a word.

"Katya my child I'm so sorry." Her mother cried, trying to take Katya's hand but she denied.

"Mother no.. I don't want you here. Please just go." Katya said turning her head away from her mother.

Trixie watched as her mother left the room and closed the door behind her. As soon as it closed Katya broke down in tears her whole body shaking. 

"I hate them. I hate them." Katya cried quietly.

Trixie smiled sadly at her. "I know it's hard baby."

Katya cried and curled her body sideways on the bed making room for Trixie to join her and hold her. Trixie laid down next to Katya opening her arms to the smaller woman who clutched to her within seconds. Trixie wrapped her arms around Katya's body, rubbing her one hand against Katya's back and the other getting lost in her hair. Katya cried in Trixie's arms for a while before she calmed down now sniffling quietly. 

"I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't have you by my side." Katya whispered against Trixie's shoulder.

"I know baby. I feel the same way. I would be lost without you." Trixie whispered back planting a soft kiss on Katya's head.

"Never leave me?" Katya whispered.

"Never." Trixie whispered back turning her head to Katya. She pulled her hand from Katya's back and placed it on her cheek. She wiped away the tears from her face before she leaned down bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. They stayed there in each others arms eventually falling asleep.

* * *

The next morning Trixie woke up in the hospital bed with Katya in her arms. She was already awake and tracing her fingers on Trixie's stomach. Trixie smiled and looked down at Katya lacing their finger together.

"Good morning sleepyhead." Katya murmured before she reached up and pressed a soft kiss on Trixie's cheek.

"Morning." Trixie said returning the favor and pressing a kiss on Katya's cheek.

"How did you sleep?" Katya asked rubbing her thumb against Trixie's hand.

"The best I've slept in a while." Trixie said softly.

Katya smiled widely and snuggled her head against Trixie's shoulder. "Good."

"I didn't really sleep much, I've had enough of that for a while now." Katya joked and Trixie chuckled slightly.

"So you did what all night? Stared at me like a psychopath?" Trixie joked back.

"Mama that's all I ever do." Katya said smirking.

Trixie turned her head to Katya and turned on her side facing her properly. She lifted her hand and cupped Katya's cheek.

"Whatever silly.. I'm just so glad you're awake." She said before leaning in kissing Katya softly.

Katya hummed against her lips and her hand rose to rest on Trixie's hip. She tucked her closer their hips bumping softly against one another in the narrow bed. Trixie pulled back with tears in her eyes. Katya furrowed her brows and now cupped Trixie's cheek.

"What's wrong Trixie? Talk to me baby."

Trixie sniffled and opened her eyes to meet Katya's blue ones.

"I'm so glad that you're awake and here. But.. the future is still so unclear and I'm scared." Trixie cried softly.

Katya's heart squeezed seeing Trixie like this but she was scared too. 

"I know baby.. I'm scared too." Katya said softly.

"I just don't wanna lose you.. ever. And I'm trying to stay positive and strong for you.. but I still feel like I'm going to lose you one day and I can't.. I can't breathe when I think about it. And it's something that we can't ignore, it's going to happen."

Katya pulled Trixie in for a hug. She let Trixie cry against her hospital gown staining it with her makeup yesterday. Once Trixie calmed down Katya stroked her hand in Trixie's hair kissing her forehead.

"I know Trixie.. I don't want to think about it either but I have to. And I've thought about it everyday when I was in that coma. I want to fight. I want to have a forever with you Trixie and the only way I can have that is to have the surgery." Katya spoke softly. "And I know the risk is huge but it's worth it. You're worth it."

Trixie cried once again pulling back from the embrace. 

"I.. I don't know what to say. I mean obviously I want as much time with you as I possibly can get but the surgery is so risky and I can't stand the thought of losing you. I just can't. I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

Katya wiped away Trixie's tears and planted a soft kiss on her cheekbone.

"I don't want to lose you either. But I want to fight. Because I don't want anything else in life than to be with you."

Trixie nodded slightly before smiling sadly. She opened her mouth to speak but the door opened.

"Good morning." The doctor said.

"Morning." Katya said turning to her other side to face the doctor. Trixie got out of the bed straightening her clothes. The doctor listened to Katya's heart, flashed the light in her eyes again before checking the monitors and writing the results down.

"How is everything feeling? Any headaches?" The doctor asked.

"No, nothing. Everything feels normal." Katya replied.

"Alright then. I'd like to keep you here for a few nights though before you can go home." The doctor said closing the chart.

"I've decided." Katya blurted out. 

"About the surgery?" The doctor asked and Katya nodded.

Trixie held her breath even though she knew what Katya's answer was going to be. 

"I want to have it." Katya said determined.

The doctor nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Alright." He said about to continue but Katya cut him off.

"But not yet. I want to go home with Trixie and spend time with her before I return to this God awful bed and gown." Katya said. "No offense."

"None taken." The doctor said and smiled and continued. "I was gonna say that we can't do it right now anyways since you need time to heal from the previous surgery. But we should do it sooner than later before it's too late."

Katya nodded. "Can I get like three months?"

The doctor tilted his head and pursed his lips. "Well it obviously depends how you are doing during the time you're away. The diagnosis in not good so I can't promise anything."

"I understand." Katya said. "So how do we do this?" 

"Well once I discharge you I want you to come in once every two weeks for a follow up. I need you to really pay attention to any head aches or changes in your overall health. And if there's anything like that, we operate."

Katya nodded once again. "Okay.. Sound, as good as it can it get in this situation I guess."

The doctor smiled a bit before he left the room. Katya turned her head to look at Trixie who was sitting on her chair.

"Trixie come here." Katya said softly reaching her hand out.

Trixie stood up taking Katya's hand.

"We still have some time to be together. And I want to spend it all with you. So we'll take a road trip and I'll take you to the club on your 21st birthday and we'll spend long mornings in bed, watch movies, go out on dates do anything and everything. We'll make the best of it. And then I come here and I'll make it. I promise. I'll be in that 10%."

Trixie smiled down at Katya and nodded.

"Okay." She whispered.

"I love you Trixie, so much."

"I love you too."

They spend a few hours together just laying there playing with each others fingers and hair and telling how much they love each other. At some point Katya had pointed out that Trixie looked crazy. Trixie laughed and realized that she had basically lived in the hospital room for over a week. She had refused to leave Katya because she wanted to be there when she woke up. And now she was awake and telling Trixie how her breath stank. Trixie would've been offended if it wasn't true. After a short debate Katya had won and they agreed that Trixie should go home and freshen up. After an unnecessary long goodbye Trixie had left the hospital and headed home, well to Katya's place since nearly most of her favorite clothes and makeup was there.

Trixie paid the Uber and got out of the car walking inside the building. She texted Katya that she was here and immediately got a picture back of Katya sticking out her tongue and smiling widely. Trixie chuckled and put the phone in her pocket when she reached the front door. Trixie pushed the door open and stepped inside. Wow, she hadn't been here in a while and it was cleaner than usual. Trixie took of her shoes and walked to the kitchen seeing a note taped to the fridge.

_Dear Trixie and Katya,_

_I have Nelson with me in my apartment, he's having a great time here don't worry about him! I love having him around. I cleaned a bit and bought some food for you guys since you're able to come home soon. Katya I hope you have a quick recovery. I love you both!_

_Dela ♡_

Trixie smiled widely at the note and sent a picture of it to Katya getting heart eye emojis back in response after a few minutes. Trixie left the note on the kitchen table walking off into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and gasped slightly. She smelled her breath and Katya was right, it did stink. Trixie chuckled and got out of her clothes stepping into the shower. She rinsed her body thoroughly washing every inch of her skin before moving to her hair. She used Katya's coconut scented shampoo and conditioner smiling to herself as she now smelled like Katya. Trixie grabbed the toothbrush and brushed her teeth while she let the conditioner sit in her hair. After about five more minutes she was done in the shower wrapping a towel around her breasts and another one on her hair. She grabbed her phone and snapped a teasing picture sending it to Katya. Trixie just reached the bedroom when she received another set of emojis from Katya this time including the heart eye, fire and tongue emojis. Trixie chuckled as she went through her clothes.

Trixie had spent the last nine days basically in the same clothes. Sure Dela had brought her underwear to change and a hoodie but that was it. Trixie decided to put on her light denim mom jeans paired with a simple white t-shirt with a pocket over her tit. Trixie smiled to herself as she put on Katya's red Russian cat socks and rolled up her jeans so the cat was visible. Trixie didn't spent too long on getting ready as she really wanted to just be with Katya since she was now awake. Once Trixie was done getting ready she stood in front of the full body mirror snapping a flattering picture of her and her curves and sent it to Katya with a message _"heading back in a few minutes"_. Once again she received a photo from Katya put this time she was smiling softly her eyes piercing through the camera, her one hand posed as a half of a heart in front of her chest. Trixie awed and send her a quick _I love you_ before she put the phone in her back pocket. She touched up on her makeup, ordering an Uber. Trixie walked to the fridge and grabbed a Redbull before heading out. It was nice but also a bit creepy that Dela knew them so well.

Once Trixie got into the Uber she pulled her phone out seeing that Katya had sent a _I love you more_ text after her own love confession. It made Trixie's heart sing and she quickly typed that she was on her way. The ride didn't take long and Trixie thanked the driver before paying and getting out. Trixie looked at her phone, there was no reply to her previous message but Trixie didn't mind since she was already here. Trixie made her way through the hallways, getting in and out of the elevator, turning corners before she finally got to Katya's room.

"I'm baaaack!" Trixie sang softly as she flew the door open but much to her surprise there was only a nurse in the room looking like she was cleaning up and changing the sheets.

"Oh sorry." Trixie said and looked around. "Uh where's Katya?" She asked.

The nurse looked at her and shrugged. "I don't know. Her parents came by to take her out for a walk and the next thing I know my boss tells me this room is no longer needed."

Trixie's heart fell to her stomach and she rushed out the door without saying a word. Her parents hadn't come to take her for a walk. They had come to take her back to Russia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun duuuun, gag, katya's gone.  
> i hope you liked this chapter, please let me know what you think :)  
> thank you for reading <3


	14. Driveway

Trixie ran out of the hospital into the parking lot her eyes looking everywhere for Katya. Her vision was blurry due to the tears in her eyes but it didn't stop her from looking. She walked a bit and saw a glimpse of platinum blonde hair that was definitely Katya's.

"Katya!" Trixie scream running to that direction.

The blond turned around and it was Katya indeed. Trixie saw how Katya tried to move towars her but her father kept a grip on her not allowing her to move.

"Trixie!" Katya cried out, trying to get out of her fathers arms.

Trixie ran to them not really knowing what to do. Katya's father was definitely a big guy and she wasn't about to start a fist fight with him. She needed to do something though, she couldn't let them take Katya.

"Katya.." Trixie breathed out once she reached them and wiped away her tears.

"We are going. Katya get in the car."

"No! Let me go!" Katya screamed kicking his legs like a little child.

"Stop it. Now." Her father said sternly tightening his grip on her.

"Please. Just let her stay. Please." Trixie begged crossing her fingers.

Katya's father didn't do anything, he just stared at Trixie. Out of nowhere there came a car to their side Katya's mother driving it.

"Trixie.." She breathed and got out of the car.

"Please. Please just let Katya stay. I can't.. She can't leave, please I need her and she needs me. Please I beg of you."

Katya's mother looked at Trixie with sadness in her eyes.

"Mom please. I don't want to go. Please, let me go. I need Trixie. Please, I love her. Please." Katya cried hysterically.

She looked between the two crying girls until she finally walked to Katya and her father.

"Honey we need to let her go." She whispered but he didn't budge.

"No she needs to come home with us."

"Victor, no. Look at her. She's not going to be happy with us. We need to let her go."

"Dad please, please." Katya cried finally stopping her fight against her father just falling to the ground.

"Katya.." Trixie cried coming to her side holding her in her arms while her father still held his hands on Katya's arms.

"Trixie I love you so much. I love you, I love you." Katya whispered through her tears as she rested her head against Trixie's shoulder.

"I love you too Katya, please. Please let her stay." Trixie whispered looking up at Katya's father. "Please."

Katya's father looked at the sight in front of him realizing he had to let her go. He finally let his arms go and Katya flew herself to Trixie wrapping her arms around her pulling her as close as possible. Both Trixie and Katya just cried in each others arms until there was no more tears left to cry. Trixie helped Katya up wrapping her arms around her waist as they stood facing her parents.

"I'm sorry Yekatarina.. For everything. I just.. don't want to lose you." Her father finally spoke and now Katya recognized this person again.

Katya stood in Trixie's arms her arms resting around Trixie's shoulders. She didn't speak she couldn't. She was speechless and frankly she didn't know what to say.

"Katya my darling.." Her mother spoke taking a few steps forward. "We will let you stay, we want you to be happy. But please keep us updated?" Her mother pleaded.

Katya still didn't say anything she just glared at her parents.

"Answer your mother Yekatarina." Her father spoke.

Katya shook her head slightly. "I don't know what to say to you guys.. I have a lot of thoughts, about everything but I don't want to say something I'll regret. So please just go."

Katya's mother shed a few tears. "Katya please.. At least text us.." When she didn't get an answer from Katya her eyes moved to look at Trixie. Trixie nodded her head slightly. She knew Katya loved her parents even though she didn’t want to even look at them right now. However they deserved to know if their daughter was alive or not. They watched her parents get in the car and drive away. Katya clutched closer to Trixie not wanting to let go. She was angry, confused but relieved she was still here with Trixie.

* * *

After a few more days at the hospital Katya had been discharged and they were on their way home to Katya's apartment. Dela had promised to cook them dinner and also bring Nelson back home. They were both excited to get out of the hospital. They sat in the Uber for about fifteen minutes before they arrived at Katya's apartment. As they walked up the stairs the delicious smell of food came to their noses and as soon as they stepped inside Nelson was by their feet, meowing and purring.

"Nelson." Katya beamed lifting him up and hugging him. "My big boy. How have you been?"

"He's been amazing." Dela said as she stepped to their view from the kitchen. She walked over to them giving them both a hug separately.

"How are you feeling Katya?" Dela asked softly, tilting her head to the side.

Katya shrugged and put Nelson back down after he had started to squirm in her arms.

"Uh.. Tired, exhausted really. But really happy to be back home." Katya said smiling softly. "And I have to thank you Dela.. For Nelson, for being there for me, for us, for this. Thank you for everything." Katya spoke taking a hold of Dela's hands giving them a squeeze.

"Oh you're welcome honey.. I'm just glad that I can be here for you." Dela said hugging Katya briefly before pulling back. "Ok I have to get back so I don't burn everything."

Trixie and Katya chuckled as Dela almost tripped over because Nelson was lingering around her feet. After the dinner Dela had left leaving them alone to watch a movie, but neither of them really paid attention to it, focusing more on each other. Trixie stroked Katya's hair as her head laid on her lap. She had a bald spot on the back of her head from the surgery. Katya laid in her lap her fingers running along Trixie's thighs circling down to her knees every once in a while before coming back up. Trixie sighed a bit as her fingers continued to travel through Katya's hair.

"What are you thinking?" Katya asked.

Trixie shrugged even though Katya couldn't see it.

"I don't know really.. I feel really peaceful right now but then everything comes back and I just feel worried."

Katya slowly pushed herself up facing Trixie. She put her hands on Trixie's cheeks not saying anything, instead she just leaned in pressing her lips softly on Trixie's. Trixie melted into the kiss wrapping her arms around Katya's waist pulling her into her lap so that Katya was now straddling her. They continued to kiss each other softly as the movie rolled forward. Katya planted one more kiss on Trixie's lips before she pulled back slightly breathless. They rested their foreheads together, closing their eyes.

"I just.. don't want to lose you." Trixie whispered stroking her hands along Katya's hips.

"I know. And I don't want to lose you either." Katya whispered back. "But life is short and it sucks a lot of the time. So we just have to make the best of it."

"I know, you're right. I just hate that this had to happen to you." Trixie said opening her eyes now.

"Mhh.. I think it's meant to be though.." Katya said meeting Trixie's confused eyes. She chuckled slightly before resting her hands on Trixie's shoulders rubbing her thumbs against Trixie's collarbones. "I don't really believe all that stuff but think about it. I've had this tumor since I've been five years old. And I'm 23 now. I was meant to make it this far.. to meet you. And I doubt God, or whoever controls this bullshit, made me survive this long to let me meet you and not get to spend the rest of my life with you. I mean that's just stupid."

Trixie smiled looking up at Katya.

"So.. Meant to be?" Trixie asked.

"Meant to be mama."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this is the shortest chapter ever and so anticlimatic but i really dug a hole for myself with the last chapter so i had to finish it somehow.  
> i finally found some inspiration to continue writing, and the next chapter is gonna be cute. and it’s gonna be out soon so keep an eye on it ;)  
> thanks for reading <3


	15. Soldier

"Katya come on lets go! We're gonna be late." Trixie yelled from the front door with their suitcase.

"Yeah just one second!"

It had been two months since Katya had been released from the hospital. She had gone to her check ups, with Trixie of course, and everything was fine with the tumor. It had grown a little bit but that was expected and since it hadn't affected Katya's life in any new way the doctor let her go. Trixie really wanted to take Katya to her home in Wisconsin, show her the beautiful country side and also meet her mother and the rest of her family. They had called her mother and asked if they could come and her mother had been so excited for them to come that they booked the plane tickets right away. They would stay from Friday to Sunday because Trixie had to work on Monday evening at the ice-cream shop but her mother was still excited for them to come for even a shorter period. Trixie had told her mother a lot about Katya but not the fact that she had a tumor. She didn't want her mother to pity them but mainly she didn't tell her because it made her believe if she didn't tell her mother it wasn't real. Trixie knew it wasn't really fair but her mother didn't need to know everything about her life and Katya had agreed to not telling her mother.

"OK I'm ready." Katya said pulling her backpack over her shoulders.

"Alright good. Bye Nelson." Trixie waved at the black cat who was sitting next to the couch.

"Bye my darling." Katya joined the goodbye before they walked out and locked the door behind them.

They walked outside their Uber already waiting for them. The driver loaded their suitcase in the back as they climbed in on the backseat together. They had only packet one suitcase because they were only staying for the weekend so they didn't need that much clothes with them, plus it was cheaper to have just one suitcase instead of two. They held hands as the driver started the car and headed towards the airport. Trixie could tell Katya was a bit nervous, her hand trembling and her knee bouncing rapidly.

"Are you nervous baby?" Trixie asked with a chuckle already knowing the answer.

"Well yeah kinda! I'm gonna meet your mother and stepdad and siblings in just a few hours." Katya said looking out of the window.

"Hey.. Look at me." Trixie said gently grabbing Katya's chin turning her to face her. "They are gonna love you. Don't worry about it."

Katya smiled slightly looking down. "I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about their reaction.. Your mother seems to be ok with it but we'll see when we get there. And your stepdad.. I don't know how I feel about that."

Trixie's stepdad wasn't really the nicest guy in the world. I mean he was okay. But he had his own strong opinions about things. Like gays. He had never actually said the words out loud but Trixie knew he resented gays. He had never commented on her past relationships with girls just glared at them when they left their house. Her mother was shocked at first when she had came out but she was supportive and understanding.. or at least tried to be. But Trixie was never uncomfortable telling about her relationships to her mother or her siblings. She had a big brother and a little sister. Her brother's 27 and lives in Minnesota and her sister is only 11 and obviously still lives at home. Trixie and her brother had a different dad, who they had never met, than her little sister Amy who is the child of her mother and her stepdad.

"I know, he's kinda.. weird and not nice most of the time but I'm happy you get to meet my mom, and her to finally meet you."

"Finally? How long have you been telling her about me?"

"Well I first told her about you when I first met you.. I said to her that I had met a beautiful girl who was really kind to me."

"Aw that's sweet. I'm happy to get to meet her too."

The ride to the airport didn't take more than 25 minutes and they got through security fairly quickly. Everything went really smoothly and after they had wandered in all of the small gift shops and bought some nuts and smoothies for the flight they boarded the plane. Trixie had brough gum with her and she popped one in and handed the bar to Katya. She watched her take three gums and stuff them in her mouth giving the rest back with a toothy grin her mouth full of the peppermint flavored gum.

"You're a psychopath.." Trixie murmured stuffing the gum back to her purse.

"Don't yell it too loud or they'll lock me up." Katya whispered as she leaned into Trixie.

Trixie turned to look at Katya and smiled widely.

"You're so stupid, you know that right?"

"I know mama."

"But that's what makes me love you even more.."

"Oh I know that too." Katya smirked.

She leaned in closer and pressed her lips against Trixie's. Katya had to keep reminding herself that they were on an airplane and couldn't just jump on Trixie and dryhump in front of everyone. She did however deepen the kiss their tongues rubbing against one another. The taste of peppermint took over both of their mouths even strongly than before. Trixie pulled back from the kiss after she had had enough of Katya's peppermint flavored saliva in her mouth.

"Gross.." Trixie whispered and leaned back in her seat looking out the window to the sky.

Katya giggled and snuggled herself as close as possible to Trixie's jumpsuit covered body and she hummed as Trixie wrapped an arm around her. They were lucky that no one was sitting next to them, giving them extra space and privacy. The flight wasn't too long, just over 4 hours, enough time for them to watch a few movies. Katya had insisted on watching The Incredibles letting Trixie chose the other movie which was Frozen 2. The movie selection wasn't the best but they enjoyed the movies whilst eating their snacks and exchanging a few kisses every here and there. Once they landed and got off the plane they found their way to their suitcase. It was Katya's suitcase so it was matte black but they had taken Trixie's hot pink suitcase belt and strapped it on along with a few pink stickers that Trixie had lying around the apartment. The walked outside to the parking lot trying to find her mother's car.

"Oh there it is I see it!" Trixie beamed and they headed towards the old red Prius. As soon as her mother spotted them she got out of the car and walked towards them.

"Trixie!"

"Mom!"

They met with a long hug her mother swaying them from side to side. Trixie was taller than her mother but she had brown eyes just like Trixie. She pulled back and cupped Trixie's cheeks tilting her head down and placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I've missed you baby." She whispered and Trixie smiled and looked at her mother as she let her head back up again.

"I've missed you too."

Her mother's eyes went to Katya and she let Trixie go.

"And you must be Katya.."

"Yes, nice to meet you-" Katya said extending her hand out but instead her mother just hugged her tightly.

Katya gave Trixie an awkward smile and Trixie giggled snapping a quick photo of them.

"I've hear a lot about you." She said as she pulled back letting Katya go. "She really is pretty Trixie, you described her features well."

"Mom!"

Katya grinned at Trixie giving her a small wink. "Wow I'm so flattered that you've been talking nicely about me."

"Come on silly lets get in the car." Trixie said blushing.

"No need to be embarrassed Trixilicious.." Katya whispered in her ear and gave a light tap on her ass as she loaded the suitcase in the trunk.

"Katya." Trixie gasped slightly.

"What?" She asked. "Your mom's already in the car, she didn't see it."

"Still, I don't want you to make me wet in front of her."

Katya smirked and bit her lower lip hard.

"Oh you shouldn't have just said that.. Now I wanna make you wet in front of your mother." Katya whispered as Trixie closed the trunk.

"You're such a freak.. I love you. And also you better not do it." Trixie said giving her a quick kiss before they entered the car.

Her mother asked questions the whole time they were in the car. She asked how had they met, even though Trixie had told her about it already, she asked how they felt when they first met. She asked every possible thing she could think of before they reached their home. It was about an hour long drive to the country side. They had a big house with a big yard the forest nearly starting by the trampoline that was set in the distance. They had a few swings, a tree house and a self-made sandbox.

"Wow this is amazing." Katya breathed out when she stepped out of the car her eyes glancing all over.

"Trixieee!" There was a scream and within a few seconds a little girl had jumped into her open arms.

"Hi Amy! I've missed you so much!" Trixie said hugging her little sister tightly giving her kisses all over.

"Ugh stop it!" She giggled and squirmed out of Trixie's arms. "I've missed you too." Amy said after a few seconds of making faces at Trixie and hugging her tall legs.

Trixie ruffled Amy's hair before speaking. "Hey there's someone I want you to meet." Trixie motioned to Katya to come to them and as she walked to them Trixie could feel Amy bouncing a bit.

"Amy this is Katya. Katya this is Amy." Trixie spoke softly letting the two interact with each other.

"Hi Amy." Katya beamed sticking her hand out. "You're really pretty."

Amy blushed a bit but stuck her hand out to Katya shaking it. "You're really pretty too." She spoke after a few seconds.

"Why thank you.. Your sister seems to think the same thing too." Katya "whispered" to Amy, clearly saying it loud enough for Trixie to hear it.

Trixie huffed a little bit but didn't say anything.

"So you're her girlfriend?" Amy asked looking at Katya.

"Yes I am." Katya said and Amy looked a bit confused.

"So you like Trixie?" The little girl asked.

"Yes I do, I like her very much." Katya said smiling, quickly glancing up at Trixie.

"Ok cool." Amy said before running of to her mother.

Katya giggled slightly and stepped next to Trixie. "Wow she's a cutie."

Trixie nodded wrapping an arms around Katya's waist.

"She really is.." Trixie watched as her mother and sister walked towards the front door her stepdad stepping out to the steps.

"Hey.." He said simply and waved his hand.

"Hey." Trixie replied and mirrored his actions. She let go of Katya and they walked to the door. He looked them up and down before sticking his hand out.

"Gary." He said with a raspy voice.

"Katya."

They shook hands and that was it. He walked inside and they walked after him, walking into the big living room finding her big brother there.

"Brian!" Trixie beamed and walked to her brother wrapping her arms around his shoulders slightly jumping in his arms.

"Nice to see you too Trixie." He chuckled and lifted her slightly before letting go. His eyes moved to Katya and he walked forward.

"Hey, you're Katya right?" He said sticking out his hand as well.. Wow this family really liked handshakes, except Trixie's mom who had just hugged her.

"Yeah, and you're Brian." Katya said smiling slightly as she shook his hand. She felt uncomfortable since her hand was all sweaty from shaking hands with everyone.

"Yeah yeah.. Trixie had talked a lot about you." He said smiling. "I mean our text messages are just filled with "Katya this Katya that"." He chuckled. "And it's all good so don't worry, it's not like she has told your deepest secrets." He laughed awkwardly.

"Ok Brian enough." Trixie said pushing his brother aside and taking Katya's hand. "We're gonna take our stuff upstairs."

Trixie guided them upstairs to her old room where her mother hadn't changed much about it. Katya chuckled as they walked in seeing all the pink stuff from the walls to the bed sheets and carpet and picture frames.

"I expected nothing less." Katya grinned widely as she sat on the pink bed looking around.

"Oh shut up." Trixie said closing the door and throwing her purse on her table before straddling Katya on the bed.

"Oh miss Mattel.." Katya whispered wrapping her arms around Trixie's waist.

"Oh stop it would you. I'm not gonna have sex with you here with my siblings and parents in the next room." Trixie huffed as she brushed her hair back from her face.

"Well you straddled me." Katya defended tilting her head to the side.

"Well that's just because I wanted to kiss you, silly."

"Then kiss me."

"Gladly."

Trixie closed the gap between them their lips brushing against one another. It was deep but soft neither of them wanting to go further than just kissing. As Trixie tilted her head and cupped Katya's cheeks the door flew open.

"Uh sorry to interrupt your make out session but mom wants us all to make tacos together."

Trixie closed her eyes resting her head against Katya's.

"In a moment Brian." She muttered under her breath.

"What?" He said clearly teasing her little sister.

"We're gonna come just give us a moment." Trixie said turning her head to look at her brother.

"A fucking moment." He joked quietly.

"Brian!" Trixie said getting up from Katya's lap, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him.

"Whoa whoa, no need to get violent here!" He said raising his hands.

"We're gonna come down in just a minute." Katya said standing up grabbing Trixie's hand preventing her from going after her brother.

"Yeah, see you down there." He said walking away.

Trixie sighed looking down and Katya giggled wrapping her arms around Trixie turning her to her.

"He's obviously kidding Trixie, just relax." Katya said with a smile as she kissed her cheek.

"Yeah I know. I just wish he doesn't joke like that with the rest of them around."

"I'm sure he won't, he seems like a nice guy."

"Yeah he really is." Trixie said smiling a but now.

"Come on, let's go make some tacos."

"Wait." Trixie said pulling Katya close.

"What?"

"One more kiss. I can't kiss you down there." Trixie said before closing the gap between them.

Katya wrapped her arms around Trixie's shoulders pulling her closer until they heard someone speak again.

"Eeeeew." Amy said as she stood by the doorway.

Katya pulled back and they both giggled turning to Amy.

"What? This is what people do when they like each other Amy." Trixie spoke softly.

"Still.. eew." She said pursing her mouth.

Katya giggled some more before hunching down a bit.

"Take that back little girl or I'm gonna tickle you until you can't breathe." Katya said launching herself after Amy who ran out of the room.

Trixie laughed and walked after them downstairs. Katya had caught Amy and she was tickling her on the couch. Trixie's stepdad glanced over at them before focusing back on the TV. Her mother summoned all of her kids and Katya into the kitchen. They all washed their hands before they got to touch anything. Trixie's task was to grain the cheese, Katya and Amy had taken over the chopping of cucumbers and tomatoes while Brian handled the meat and the rest was up to Trixie's mother to handle. Trixie's mother walked around them snapping pictures and making them pose every five minutes. Katya enjoyed this family time a lot. After what had happened with her parents she had felt like she didn't really have a happy family anymore but here she felt really welcomed and comfortable. Once everything was ready they all enjoyed the meal together, passing foods along the long table. Afterwards Trixie and Katya helped with the dishes and cleaning up. Amy had insisted they would watch a movie together and they settled on the first of The Hunger Games movie. They ate popcorn and enjoyed some soda as they were huddled up on the couch together. Before the ending of the movie Amy had fallen asleep since it was already past midnight. They all went to sleep the house quieting down.

Around two in the morning Katya felt a tug at her shoulder.

"Trixie?"

Katya turned around to her other side seeing Amy standing next to the bed.

"What is it sweetie?" Katya asked.

"Oh sorry I woke you up.." She said quietly turning around to leave but Katya stopped her by gently grabbing her hand.

"I had a nightmare about the movie. When Trixie still lived here I would always come to her first if I had a nightmare. She always let me sleep with her." Amy spoke quietly walking back closer to the bed.

"Well I'm sure she won't mind having you here. I know I won't mind." Katya spoke softly motioning for Amy to come to bed and she did.

Trixie slept on the side closer to the wall her back to them. Amy settled down her cold feet brushing over Katya's legs making her shiver slightly. Amy looked at Trixie and then turned to look at Katya.

"Can I snuggle with you?" She asked quietly.

"Of course." Katya said, laying back down and opening her arms to Amy.

Amy crawled close and Katya closed her arms around her small body. Katya smiled to herself. She had always liked kids and wanted to have her own and she wanted to have kids with Trixie but with the future so unknown she didn't dare to dream of something like that. Katya stoked Amy's hair humming quietly to help her sleep.

"Thank you Katya." Amy whispered her voice already fading off. "I really like you."

Katya smiled widely in the dark and pressed a soft kiss on Amy's head. "You're welcome sweetheart and I really like you too."

The next morning Trixie woke up with heat on her skin. She knew sleeping next to Katya wouldn't make her this hot so she turned around looking at the sight in front her with amazement. Amy was curled up so close to Katya that she could barely move but she looked happy to be there her arms wrapped around Amy's tiny body. Trixie smiled snapping a picture of them before she got up. Downstairs her mother was already up making pancakes for breakfast. Trixie walked to the kitchen helping her mother.

"Good morning sweetheart." 

"Morning mom."

"I'm guessing you saw that Amy had come to your bed last night?"

"Yeah I noticed. I mean I didn't notice when she came in but I saw her cuddled up with Katya just now." Trixie chuckled a bit.

Her mother hummed softly as she flipped the pancake.

"You know Katya seems like a really nice girl."

"I'm glad you think so mom.. I really love her a lot."

"Aw my little girl is in love." Her mother said walking over and wrapping Trixie in for a hug.

"Ugh mom!" Trixie exclaimed but hugged her mother back.

Trixie scooted herself up the counter taking a seat on it watching her mother get everything ready for breakfast.

"Do you think you'll marry her?"

"Mom.." Trixie let out again. She hadn't really thought about it before and especially now with the tumor she hadn't thought about anything like that. But she did want to marry Katya. She wanted to have a future with her. Marriage, kids, a house, animals a whole family. Trixie smiled to herself before answering her mother. "I'd really want to marry her.. But it’s way too soon to say anything really. Luckily there’s still a lot of time." Trixie said hoping it was true.

After about thirty minutes everyone was awake, except her stepfather, sitting around the dinner table. They enjoyed breakfast together talking about little thing. After breakfast Katya took Amy outside to do some acrobats. Trixie watched them to cartwheels, bridges, splits and things Trixie had never seen neither Katya or her sister do. The rest of the day went by quickly Amy and Brian playing video games and Trixie and Katya taking a long walk, Trixie showing all the places she used to play when she was a kid, telling Katya how she had imagined the forest was her kingdom. Katya had laughed but let Trixie tell her stories as they walked. The evening came quickly and they were all settled around the dinner table once again.

"So what have you been doing today?" Her mother asked looking at Trixie and Katya.

"Uh we went for a walk, I showed Katya around the town a bit and also the forest trail."

"Oh that sounds nice." Her mother said turning her attention to Amy and Brian.

Trixie looked down at her food pocking it around a bit, she wasn't really that hungry. She felt Katya grab her hand and squeeze it.

"Try to eat a little." Katya whispered.

Trixie only nodded and lifted her hand to grab some vegetables on her fork, letting Katya's hand fall to her lap. Trixie put the food in her mouth and tensed a bit when she felt Katya's hand travel between her legs pressing at her middle slightly. Trixie swallowed the food and glared at Katya but she didn't more her hand only grinned back at Trixie. She walked her fingers up Trixie's shorts pushing the light fabric down a bit before her fingers were inside her panties. Trixie shivered and swallowed hard trying to focus on the conversation.

"So you two are leaving tomorrow.. What are your plans for the rest of the summer?" Brian asked looking at them.

Katya turned her head to look at him smiling a bit as her fingers worked against Trixie's clit. 

"Uh nothing much really.. Just relaxing and working a bit at the ice-cream shop. Right Trixie?" Katya asked with a grin on her face looking at Trixie again.

"Yeah.." Trixie managed to let out without moaning. She closed her eyes for a brief moment swallowing hard.

"Trixie darling are you alright?" Her mother asked.

Trixie bit down her lip as Katya's finger rubbed against her clit faster each second. Katya smiled noticing Trixie struggle so she turned to look at her mother answering for Trixie.

"She's okay. We were in the sun quite a lot today, maybe she got a sunstroke?" Katya said turning to look at Trixie again who had put a hand before her mouth to keep herself from moaning.

"Mhh, excuse me." Trixie said pushing Katya's hand away and exciting the table.

Everyone looked at each other with confused but Katya smiled slightly knowing there was nothing wrong. She stood up from the table excusing herself and going after Trixie. Katya traced Trixie's breathing down the hall to the bathroom. She opened the door and looked at Trixie who had her hand down her own pants.

"God you are the devil.." She whispered as Katya closed the door behind her locking it.

"Oh mama you know me so well." Katya said quietly walking up to Trixie smashing their lips together.

As they kissed Katya slid her hand down between Trixie's legs again pushing Trixie's hand out of the way her fingers finding her clit again. Trixie moaned softly against Katya's mouth as Katya rubbed circles on her clit with her thumb the rest of her fingers sliding between her wet folds.

"God you're wet.." Katya whispered between kisses.

"Yeah I know. I can't believe you actually made me wet in front of my mom and the rest of my family."

"I told you I would do it."

* * *

The next day went by quicker that Trixie wanted. She had really enjoyed her time home. She enjoyed the way Katya fit in with her family like they had all met before. She enjoyed how carefree Katya was, smiled and laughed when she played with Amy or joked around with Brian or her mom. She enjoyed how happy she looked. And she wanted to keep it that way. She wanted to give her this. Give her happiness and time. All the time in the world with not a single worry that her time would be cut short. Trixie wanted that for Katya and for herself too. For them.

They were all now in the red Prius, not including her stepdad, driving to the city to go for lunch before their flight back home. Brian had offered to drive so her mother could sit back and enjoy the ride talking to her girls more. Amy sat between Trixie and Katya in the backseat playing on her Nintendo which Trixie had granted her when she moved out. Once they reached the city they looked around a bit before finding a nice diner for lunch. They ate in peace talking about whatever they thought in the moment. After about two hours they reached the airport parking lot and it was time for their goodbyes.

"Well I'll see you around Trixie." Brian said hugging her sister tightly.

"Yeah I'll text you." She replied giving her brother a kiss on the cheek.

"And Katya it was nice to finally meet you." Brian said and awkwardly approached Katya not knowing if they were in hugging terms but lucky for him Katya smiled and wrapped her arms around his tall shoulders.

"Diddo!" Katya beamed as she pulled back.

Trixie moved to her mother giving her a hug and Katya watched as Amy crossed her arms and kicked some small rocks on the ground.

"Hey pumpkin, what's the matter?" Katya said crouching down looking Amy in the eyes.

"I don't want you to go.. It was so fun with you and Trixie here."

Katya sighed a bit and moved her hands to grab Amy's in her own. 

"I had a really good time too Amy.. And don't tell the others but I had the best time with you." Katya whispered and she earned a grin from Amy.

"Really?" She asked and Katya nodded rapidly.

"Absolutely." 

At this comment Amy flung herself to Katya hugging her tightly. Katya hugged her back and lifted herself up to stand spinning around with the little girl in her arms. Trixie and her mother watched in awe how they had gotten so close in just a few days. After a moment Katya put Amy down to let her hug goodbye to Trixie and Katya hugged Trixie's mother.

"When will we get to see you again?" Her mother asked looking back and forth between Katya and Trixie.

Katya sighed. She didn't know. She didn't know if she would _ever_ see them again. Katya sighed once again and looked at Trixie hoping she would come up with some answer.

"Well we'll have to see. We're both working quite a bit at the ice-cream shop. And I go back to school again soon and Katya is gonna come back too to skip some more classes." Trixie joked hoping it would lighten the mood and it did.

"Hey." Katya said moving to Trixie's side nudging her.

"Sorry babe, but that's the truth." Trixie whispered before she planted a small kiss on Katya's cheeks.

"Okay we really need to get going." Katya said looking down at her black watch.

They all merged into a group hug and said their final goodbyes. As soon as they turned around tears pooled in Katya's eyes but she held them in until they got inside. Once inside and away from her family's eyes she broke down in tears. Trixie said nothing but she pulled her in for a hug tears in her own eyes too. Both of them sniffled their way through the security and finally into the plane. Katya was sitting on the window seat her legs clutched up tp her body. Trixie sat down next to her lifting an arm over Katya's shoulder pulling her close. Katya turned to look at Trixie and sniffled a bit.

"I had so much fun. Thank you for taking me here and making me a part of your family."

"Of course my love. You _are_ a part of my family and now you are a part of their family too, always, no matter what happens."

Katya smiled weakly before she leaned in pressing her lips on Trixie's.

"I just feel so bad.. For Amy especially. She's such a sweetheart and I don't want her to experience a loss this young-"

"Hey hey hey.. No. We are not gonna think about it like that, okay. I don't want us to mope around in these negative thoughts. I mean obviously I pray everyday that everything will work out in the future but we really need to just take it day by day. Okay? Whatever happens, happens and we can't control it. You are gonna pull through, you’re a soldier. My soldier." Trixie spoke softly trying to read the look on Katya's teary face.

After a few seconds Katya nodded and gave Trixie's hand a squeeze.

"Like you said before, meant to be." Trixie spoke softly lifting up Katya's hand giving it a gentle kiss.

_Meant to be_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay you're welcome for this cute fluffy chapter. i really enjoyed writing this and especially the moments between katya and amy. katya would be a great mom.  
> anyway i hope you liked this chapter and thank you for reading! <3
> 
> you can find me on ig and twitter @ zamoolodchikova


	16. Green Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie's eyes met the small white velvet box and her eyes immediately shot up to Katya.
> 
> "Katya.." She breathed out not knowing what to say.
> 
> "Just open it." Katya said with a small smile on her face

Trixie woke up alone and she groaned slightly at the thought of waking up alone on this day. Out of all days today was one she didn't want to wake up alone. Trixie rolled on to her other side and smiled slightly at the sight of Nelson sleeping next to her lifting his head purring as Trixie ran her hand across his head.

"Hey buddy." Trixie breathed out as she rested her head on her arm laying down on her stomach.

Nelson purred under Trixie's fingers and she smiled slightly.

"Well at least some one congratulated me." She joked quietly.

The sounds from the kitchen caused Nelson to get up and leave the bed with his tail up. Trixie groaned one again as she pulled her phone from the night stand and started scrolling through it. Her messages were full of happy birthday messages from her family and friends and her Instagram feed was painfully loaded with the most ugly pictures of her that her friends had uploaded to celebrate her. Trixie didn't mind it although she didn't quite understand why it was a tradition to post ugly pictures. Trixie answered her texts and commented on the posts she had been tagged in thanking her friends for remembering her birthday. Trixie turned 21 today and now she was legally an adult though she didn't feel any different.

Trixie tossed her phone aside and twitched a bit as she saw Katya leaning against the doorway.

"Jesus you scared me." Trixie said and turned to lay on her side facing Katya. "How long have you been standing there?"

Katya smirked a bit and started walking. "Long enough." She muttered as she sat down on the bed crossing her legs.

"Open it." Katya beamed slightly as she handed Trixie a small box that had been wrapped in pink paper.

Trixie pushed herself up to sit and took the present from Katya's hands. It was quite adorable since it was so small and the hot pink bow on top of it really made it all come together. Trixie removed the bow and gently ripped the paper off not wanting to tear something so beautiful, Katya only rolling her eyes chuckling. Once all the paper was gone Trixie's eyes met the small white velvet box and her eyes immediately shot up to Katya.

"Katya.." She breathed out not knowing what to say.

"Just open it." Katya said with a small smile on her face.

Trixie focused on the box once again and she opened the lid. What she found inside was a small simple ring hanging from a necklace and a small note stuffed on the roof of the box. Trixie pulled out the note unfolding it her hands shaking a bit.

_My dearest Trixie_

_I am going to be completely honest and tell you that during the time that I have known you my life has been the best and the worst at the same time. My best moments have been with you, wether it was a picnic on the balcony or watching a movie, or kissing you until we were both breathless or touching you until.. Well I'll leave the rest for you to imagine. And the darkest moments have been dark, but you, you have made them so much brighter. You have pulled me through so many times. You make me want to be a better person, you make me want to live forever. You make me feel better than anything else in my life before and I hope I can repay you the favor. I want to promise to you that I will love no other person than you. I want to promise that I will always do my best to make you feel loved. I want to promise that I'm yours forever. I promise that one day I will marry you and have kids with you and spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to be your forever if you’ll only let me. I hope you will accept this promise ring other wise this is gonna be really awkward._

_Love Katya_

Trixie chuckled at the last sentence as tears ran down her cheeks. She sniffled and put the note down looking at Katya who was now holding the silver necklace with the ring hanging on it. 

"Katya.." She breathed out through tears and looked at the ring tracing her fingers over it.

"I hope this isn't too soon, I just.. I love you so much and want to spend my life with you and I wanted to do this special thing for your birthday and now that you'e finally 21 it's legal and I just wanted-"

Katya's rambling was cut off with Trixie's lips. Katya relaxed into her touch immediately pulling Trixie closer to her. Trixie moved her hands to cup Katya's cheeks as she moved to her knees getting closer to Katya pressing their bodies together. They kissed until neither of them couldn't breathe and they pulled back. Trixie looked down at the necklace and grabbed it between her fingers.

"Will you put it on for me?" Trixie asked holding it to Katya now.

Katya nodded and moved on her knees and settled herself behind Trixie.

"Hold your hair up for me baby." Katya whispered gently as she pressed a soft kiss on Trixie's bare shoulder.

Trixie did as she was told lifting her thick hair up, letting Katya move her arms around her neck placing the necklace to rest on her chest and locking it. Trixie smiled letting her hair go as she played with the ring with her fingers. Katya wrapped her arms around Trixie's middle pulling her close. 

"I love you Trixie. So much."

"I love you too." 

Trixie turned herself in Katya's arms wrapping her arms around Katya's shoulders pulling her in for a kiss. Katya's hands clutched to Trixie's waist tucking her closer sitting her on her lap. Trixie mumbled something against Katya's lips as they kissed and Katya was about to break their kiss and ask what had she meant to say, but Trixie only tucked at Katya's shirt pulling it over her head. Katya smirked slightly at Trixie's face when she noticed Katya wasn't wearing anything under her oversized t-shirt. Katya brought their lips together once again for a more heated kiss than before and her hands worked on Trixie's shirt pulling the tight tank top over her head. Katya's hands found their way to Trixie's full breasts giving them a light squeeze before her thumbs grazed over her hard nipples.

"Fuck me." Trixie whispered between kisses and earned an eager grin from Katya.

"Oh I will." Katya smirked and took Trixie's lower lip between her teeth biting on it gently.

Trixie's soft moans hit Katya's face as she continued to massage her breasts the wetness in her underwear increasing. Katya noted this and pushed Trixie gently down on her back spreading her legs open. Trixie threw her head back as she felt Katya's lip on her middle her tongue working against her wet panties. She felt Katya hook her fingers on the side of her underwear pulling it completely off with one swift movement. Trixie moaned loudly when she felt Katya run her tongue through her wet folds. One of Trixie's hand worked on her nipple and the other got tangled in Katya's hair as she tried to push her deeper into her.

"Katya I need more- Oh!"

Trixie didn't have time to finish her request when Katya's two fingers were already inside her. She bit her lips together and moved her body to the same rhythm as Katya's fingers. She moaned loudly and closed her eyes tightly as Katya pushed a third finger in. Katya's fingers moved at a fairly slow pace and Trixie was about to ask for more once again but then Katya's tongue hit her clit and it was all she needed. Trixie felt her own thighs quake and close in on Katya's head but the woman between her legs kept them open with her strong arms. Trixie held back wanting this high to last forever. How ever when she heard Katya's words "Come for me baby, let go" she let go enjoying her orgasm.

Katya pumped her finger in a few more times riding Trixie's orgasm off before she pulled them out. She crawled up above Trixie their hips meeting as she leaned down a pressed a soft kiss on Trixie's lips. She played with the ring that rested on Trixie's rapidly rising chest as she planted more kisses on Trixie's lips.

"Happy birthday baby." Katya whispered nudging their noses together before kissing her once again.

* * *

The rest of the morning flew by as they ate the pancakes Katya had made for breakfast with the strawberries and Nutella. After breakfast they hopped in to the shower together losing their way in each others bodies going at it again for round two. They savored each other under the water and after all the hot water had been used they got out both a bit breathless from their actions. They got ready next to each other on the bedroom floor in front of the huge window utilizing the natural light coming from outside. After finally getting ready they walked over to Dela's place for Trixie's surprise birthday party. Katya was terrible at keeping secrets and Trixie was beyond proud of her for not spilling this party.

All of their friends were there Dela of course, Kim, Morgan, Adore with Bianca again, and a few of the new girls that had joined the ice-cream place Courtney, Alyssa and Dina who preferred to go by Detox. Dela's place was decorated with letter balloons that spelled out TRIXIE 21, normal pink balloons and a huge pile of presents for Trixie. And of course there was a cake that Dela had baked with a little help from Kim that was shaped into a pink unicorn. Trixie was beyond grateful for everything her friends had gotten for her, still her favorite present was the necklace she had received this morning. 

Trixie was sitting on the floor between Katya's legs that hung from the edge of the couch. All of them were in a deep conversation and Trixie almost didn't notice Katya kissing her shoulder and getting up.

"I'll be right back." Katya whispered and Trixie nodded tilting her head up and giving Katya a quick kiss.

Katya walked to her bag taking out her cigarettes and going to the balcony. She lit the cigarette with ease and took her first drag closing her eyes trying to relax letting the cool breeze hit her hair. She rubbed her hand softly against her temple trying to ignore the headache. Katya knew the time for the surgery was getting closer. She had had small headaches that lasted maybe a few hours but she didn't want to panic about it and since they had always had plans with Trixie she didn't want to cancel them. When the first headache had come she had gone out for a smoke thinking it had just been too long since her last cigarette but it hadn't gone away and Katya had known she'd need to go back to the hospital soon. 

Katya tilted her head back and let out the smoke from her lungs when the balcony door opened. Katya opened her eyes and watched as Shangela joined her on the fairly spacious balcony closing the door behind her.

"How's it going?" Shangela asked and took a seat next to Katya lifting her hand as a no when she had offered her a cigarette.

"It's good. Really good." Katya smiled thought it wasn't necessarily the truth.

"What's going on?" Shangela asked. 

Katya sighed deeply before she tapped off the ashes from the end of her cigarette.

"I have a headache. I've actually had a few headaches in the past few weeks." Katya admitted and Shangela rested her hand on Katya's thigh.

"Oh Katya.. Don't you need to go to the hospital?" 

"No. I'm not going. Not today." Katya said and forced on a small smile. She turned her head and looked inside where Trixie was smiling brightly letting out laughs clapping her hands together. "Not on Trixie's day."

Shangela sighed and gave her thigh a slight squeeze before pulling back. "But Katya you do know that you need to go back? It's been what... three months?"

"Yeah almost.." Katya sighed thinking three months back when she had been released from the hospital.

"I know it's scary but you just have to do it.." Shangela spoke softly. "It will be alright. She will be alright." Shangela said also looking inside at Trixie.

Tears started to gather in Katya's eyes but she forced them to stay back. 

"I know.. I just don't want her to think about it today." Katya said swallowing hard before taking once more inhale from her cigarette before putting it out.

"Yeah I know.. She's so happy right now. Let's go make sure it stays that way." Shangela said standing up holding out a hand for Katya to take and they entered the living room again and everyone turned to look at them.

"Hey you're back just in time, we're gonna play a drinking game. Go get a cider or a beer from the fridge." Kim said as she sat down next to Trixie and Dela on the floor.

Once Shangela and Katya had fetched their drinks they sat down on the floor filling out the missing pieces of the circle the others had formed on the floor.

"Alright we're gonna start off with never have I ever and the rules are simple. There is a question and if you _have_ done it you take a sip." Kim explained as she stacked the cards in her hands.

The game took off quickly everyone eager to get a bit of alcohol in their veins. The questions came in one after another and every once in a while they howled with laugher whenever there was a grosser question. After about an hour of playing most of them were already drunk or at least tipsy. 

"Kim these questions are boring and we've been through all of them already." Courtney said with a fake nasal voice and the girls laughed.

"Well I wanna keep playing!" Adore said and some of the girls agreed.

"Well we could play a dirty version of this, but we will just make up the questions.. Sound good?" Kim said and everyone agreed.

"Okay I wanna start!" Morgan beamed. "I haven't had sex today."

All the girls looked at each other and the response of Trixie and Katya and Adore and Bianca drinking didn't surprise anyone. Also a few of the other girls took sips of their drinks telling that they had done it with their boyfriends or by themselves. 

"Okay follow up. I haven't had sex more than once today." Morgan said.

All the eyes moved to Trixie and Katya as they took sips of their drinks giggling at each other and the others laughed and whistled a bit.

"Oh my God you two are impossible." Dela exclaimed with a laugh.

"Just a couple of horny teenagers." Kim laughed.

"Yeah you guys are really horny aren't ya." Alyssa laughed and the others joined in once again.

"Well what can you do? When the birthday girl asks you to fuck her in the shower you just gotta do it." Katya said smirking and winking at Trixie.

All the girls howled and clapped their hands together surely screaming loud enough for the whole block to hear them. Katya raised her drink and finished it with one gulp as she watched a slightly shocked Trixie lift a hand in front of her open mouth. Katya got up walked to Trixie and crouched down.

"Close up dear or else your tongue will fall out. And frankly I like your tongue." Katya whispered in her ear and gently placed her fingers on Trixie's jaw shutting her mouth before getting up and tiptoeing into the kitchen getting a new drink. Trixie blushed but eventually the redness faded from her cheeks as they continued to play the game. 

After a few more hours of playing and just chilling out and talking they got ready to leave to the club. They had ordered two Ubers and they split into two groups. They all moved as a group to the end of the small line that was outside the club. It was only 11:30 when they got inside so the place wasn't packed full yet and they had plenty of room to dance on the dance floor and make up quick choreographies for their group. 

This surely wasn't Trixie's first time drunk but it was her first time as a legal adult out in the club. Katya and her friends had really given her an amazing birthday with the presents and the party and now with all the drinks they were buying her. She really appreciated each and every one of her friends. Time went by so fast as they danced, went out for cigarettes and taking long bathroom breaks just staying there talking about things until a good song got them back on the dance floor. Trixie glanced at her phone checking the time, 2.56am. She scanned the faces of the people around her and when none of them were Katya Trixie pulled Dela close to her.

"Where's Katya?" She basically had to scream over the loud music and people yelling and singing along. 

"I don't know. I last saw her when we were out smoking but I know she came back in." Dela said looking around as well.

Trixie sighed a bit her thoughts starting to run in her head. She shook her head, she needed to focus since the blazing lights in the darkness and the loud music and the amount of people surrounding them were distracting enough. 

"Has anyone seen Katya?" Trixie yelled out to her friends as she still swayed her body to the music a bit being afraid if she stopped she would fall down since her legs were killing her.

"I think she's in the bathroom." Adore called out. 

Trixie thanked her by giving her a quick hug before she brushed past her trying to squeeze herself through the crowds. She finally passed the mass of people and found her way into the bathroom. She opened the door and found Katya sitting on the counter fiddling with her fingers.

"Hey what are you doing?" Trixie asked the volume of her voice significantly lower than on the dance floor.

"Oh I just.. I needed a break." Katya said looking up at Trixie smiling a bit.

Trixie wobbled her way to Katya placing herself between Katya's legs resting her torso against the cool counter. 

"What's the matter? I know if you wanted a break you'd be out smoking. Here you're just hiding." Trixie spoke softly.

Katya rested her hands on Trixie's sides pulling her closer and resting her head on Trixie's shoulder.

"Babe what are you hiding from? Is everything alright?" Trixie asked with more worry in her voice now.

"I-" Katya started but bursted out in tears. She cried softly against Trixie's shoulder, luckily not staining her clothes with her makeup since Trixie was wearing a sleeveless top. Trixie wrapped her arms around Katya letting her cry it out not wanting to push her to talk about it yet knowing Katya would eventually tell her. After a few minutes of crying Katya had calmed down and Trixie felt her pull back and look her in the eyes.

"I've been having headaches Trixie.." Katya let out quietly, barely above a whisper like it was her dirties secret she was letting out.

Trixie took a sharp breath and watched as Katya broke into tears again. Trixie cupped her cheeks and lifted her to look at her again.

"For how long? How many?" Trixie asked with the softest voice she could produce in this moment.

"Uhm during the past few weeks.. Maybe once a week, this week two." Katya sniffled.

Trixie sighed a bit slightly disappointed that Katya hadn't told her but she knew it was hard so she didn't mention it. 

"I'm so sorry for not telling you but I wanted more time. I need more time and today is your day I didn't wanna ruin it like I'm doing right now.." Katy cried but Trixie stopped her with her finger on Katya's lips.

"Shh baby.. You are not ruining anything." Trixie spoke softly and pulled Katya in for a hug. "I know you want more time. I want more time too. But you can't ignore the signs that are telling you there's not much time left. We have done so many amazing things during these past three months and now it's time. It's time to make the decision and pray that we've made the right one." Trixie whispered into Katya's hair while her hands stroked her back.

"I know.." Katya whispered. "I'm just not ready."

"I'm not ready either, I don't think we'd ever be ready but it just has to be done."

Katya sniffled and buried her face in Trixie's neck taking in her scent. "I'm gonna miss you."

Trixie pulled back and cupped Katya's cheeks. "Hey. We're not thinking like that. No. I refuse." Trixie said tears coming to her eyes now.

Katya sniffled before she leaned in and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss, their tears melting together on their cheeks. 

"I'm sorry." Katya breathed against Trixie's lips kissing her again and again.

"It's okay." Trixie whispered kissing Katya back.

"I'm gonna miss you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't fully decided yet but the next chapter will most likely be the last one :((  
> if you guys have any last wishes for this story now is the last time to comment really. also if you have suggestions or requests as to what you would like to read in the future i'm more than open to them!  
> anyway thank you for reading i hope you liked this chapter <3


	17. The Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER I'M SO SAD
> 
> i wanna thank each and every one of you for sticking with this story and reading and leaving inspiring comments! i promise i wont stop writing so hopefully i'll come up with a new concept soon bc i have really enjoyed writing and it has been something that's helped me keep my mind busy during this strange time. i hope everyone is good and staying safe and i hope to see you again soon!
> 
> thank you and for the last time, enjoy <33

* * *

_Trixie was awake but she had her eyes closed. She didn't want to open her eyes. She just didn't. Not today. Today was the day Katya would have her surgery and Trixie felt like she couldn't even breathe. The past few days they had spent together had been filled with incredible sadness and paralyzing fear. Neither of them could turn it around into positive and enjoy their last days together. They had spend their days just laying in bed, holding each other, sleeping and crying. They hardly got up, only to eat and go to the bathroom. When the nights came they had cried themselves to sleep clutching onto each others bodies. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion and not in a good way, knowing that these were their last moments together. It felt like the end of both of their lives._

_Trixie wrapped her arm tighter around Katya's body and she buried her face in Katya's hair taking in her scent. She brushed her thumb against Katya's arm as she nudged her nose against Katya's ear. Trixie could tell Katya was awake even though she didn't move. She just felt it. They didn't speak much to each other not being able to open their mouths without falling apart. Trixie felt Katya move now and she loosened her grip around Katya's body to allow her turn her body and face Trixie. She didn't say anything as she pushed a hair behind Trixie's ear tears pooling in her eyes. Trixie tried to give Katya a smile but her mouth didn't agree and a sob escaped from her lips. It didn't take long for Katya to press her lips against Trixie's and swallow her sobs. Trixie moved her hand on Katya's cheek as she felt Katya let out a sob as well her lips salty from her tears. They held each other in bed for hours, not moving, until they had to get to the hospital._

_The Uber ride was painful and silent. They held each others hands, squeezing so hard they could easily have broken bones but at this moment no other pain compared to the one they felt in their hearts. They walked in together and Katya was signed in. They got to the room and Katya stripped from her own clothes and changed into the white hospital gown, Trixie tying it behind her neck for her. Katya settled down to the bed pulling the covers over her body. Trixie stood by her side, holding her hand the entire time the doctor explained everything to her for the final time. Neither of them were capable of listening to the doctor as they just tried to keep themselves from crying. Once the doctor left and the nurses had finished plugging Katya into all the machines it was time to shave her head. Katya asked if Trixie could do it instead of the nurse and they gave her the razor. Trixie helped Katya sit up and guided her to the bathroom. Once Katya's hair was all gone they settled down onto the bed together._

_"Take a picture." Katya breathed out quietly. It was the first thing she had said all day and Trixie was a bit confused._

_"What?"_

_"Take a picture. You're gonna wanna remember this bald look." Katya said obviously trying to be funny but there was none of that in her voice._

_Trixie hummed a bit and reached for her phone before she laid down next to Katya again lifting up the phone in front of them. Trixie snuggled her face into Katya's neck and Katya pressed her lips on Trixie's hair as she snapped the picture. Trixie moved her hand down and looked at the picture a small giggle escaping her mouth. She showed it to Katya and it managed to make her smile a bit._

_"Will you remember me?" Katya asked and Trixie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Trixie pushed herself up and looked at Katya with her brows raised._

_"Are you kidding me?" Trixie said shaking her head. "I will never forget you. Never."_

_A small smile tugged on Katya's lips. "Good."_

_They laid together on the hospital bed again in silence. They just held each other Katya stroking Trixie's hair giving her light kisses. A few hours went by and it was time for Katya to go. Trixie stood next to her bed holding Katya's hand._

_"Okay it's time for us to go." The doctor said. "It's time to say goodbye."_

_Trixie turned to look down at Katya who was a blur since her eyes were filled with tears._

_"Trixie.." Katya breathed out, lifting her hand to her mouth kissing it softly. "Don't cry baby. Please don't cry. I'll be okay, and you'll be okay."_

_"I.. I just don't know how to do this without you." Trixie cried with tears in her eyes._

_"You'll find a way. I know you will."_

_Trixie let out a sob and Katya pulled her in for a kiss._

_"Don't cry baby.. I know this is hard and I'll allow you to be sad. But don't be sad for too long. You have to get out there and live your life. For me, do it for me. Live. Be happy. Get married. Have kids. Do it all, for me, for us. I'm okay with it and I want you to do it. I want you to have everything Trixie. Everything I wasn't able to give you during the time that I've known you."_

_Trixie let another sob clutching herself to Katya hugging her tightly._

_"I'm really sorry but we really have to take her now."_

_Trixie pulled back cupping Katya's face._

_"I love you so much." Trixie whispered before she pressed her lips on Katya's. "I love you, I love you, I love you."_

_Katya kissed Trixie back letting the tears fall out of her eyes. "I love you too Trixie, so much, I love you."_

_"I'll never stop loving you." Trixie breathed out before kissing Katya one last time before she pulled back letting the nurses take her away._

_Just like that, Katya was gone._

* * *

Trixie remembered that day like it was yesterday. How could she ever forget? Trixie sighed deeply and opened her eyes. She turned her head to look at beside her. No one was there. Trixie closed her eyes and the tears fell out. Every morning she woke up alone she didn't know what to do with herself. Each morning getting up without getting to kiss Katya felt like a robbery of life. Trixie swallowed her tears and pushed herself out of bed. Somehow she wobbled her way into the kitchen opening the fridge and immediately closing it. She wasn't hungry and even if she was she couldn't eat, not today. She felt like throwing up every second she was awake and even though she didn't care about a lot today she didn't want to throw up at a funeral.

Trixie took a long cold shower trying to get herself to wake up, not from sleepiness but from her sadness. She was paralyzed and couldn't get herself to do much of anything. She somehow managed to get ready though, pulling on her black underwear, bra, stockings, dress and a cardigan. She slipped her cold feet into her black heels and grabbed her purse before she went outside and stepped into her Uber. The ride felt like 5 seconds when in reality it was 15 minutes. Everything moved too fast now and Trixie couldn't keep up. It all happened so suddenly and she hadn't been prepared. Once she reached the church she saw her brother and sister who were the first ones to hug her. They all cried as they entered the church sitting down at the front. 

Time moved way too fast and it was Trixie's time to stand up and give her speech. She walked over to the casket not daring to look at it. After a while of standing there clutching on to her note not really knowing if she had even spoken anything she returned to her seat. And then she froze. She stared at the casket and the white roses on top of it. Trixie had lost her ability to take in sounds so when everyone got up getting out of the space she followed. Trixie didn't know what to do as she watched them lower the casket down under the ground. Trixie felt her legs start to give out and she grabbed her brother who was next to her. 

"Trixie are you okay?" 

No. No she wasn't. But she nodded still leaning on her brother for support. She just witnessed the most important person in her life get put under ground so no. She was not okay. She wasn't strong. Not like Katya. Once the official ceremony was over Trixie stood by the grave for hours just staring at the ground below her. She didn't know how she was able to stand up. She didn't know how she was able to get through this day, or any day for that matter, without Katya. She needed her. But she wasn’t here.

After about three hours Trixie was finally back home, under the blanket eating ice-cream on the sofa. She had taken another long shower, cleansed herself from the sadness and the smudged makeup and she was feeling better. She couldn't believe she was feeling okay. Trixie ate the whole jar of Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet flavor and was about to get another one from the freezer when she heard the keys in the front door turn. Trixie shut the freezer immediately feeling her stomach drop.

"We're home!"

"Mom, where are you?"

Trixie walked to the door wiping her tears away.

"I'm right here baby." Trixie said opening her arms smiling softly. "Come here."

The little girl with long blonde hair jumped in Trixie's arms her pink sneakers smudging against Trixie's shirt a bit but in this moment she didn't care. Trixie hugged the little girl in her arms smelling her hair that smelled like coconuts just like Katya’s hair used to smell. She squeezed her tightly and felt how the girl unwrapped her legs from her middle.

"Mom put me down! I want go play with my new Barbie."

Trixie chuckled slightly pulling back tapping her nose.

"Not before you give me a kiss."

"Okay." The little girl hurried to say and kissed her mother before she was put down again quickly kicking her sneakers off and running up the stairs.

"Another Barbie? Are you serious?" Trixie said putting her arms on each side of her hips.

"I couldn't help it, she asked so nicely." Katya said smiling widely as she kicked her own heels away immediately becoming significantly shorter than Trixie.

"Bullshit, she begged you until you caved didn't she?" Trixie said trying to be mad but couldn't help but smile.

"You know us so well." Katya said smirking as she walked over to Trixie wrapping her arms around her middle.

Trixie only huffed at the gesture but didn't fight it for long as she leaned in meeting Katya halfway bringing their lips together. Katya pressed soft kisses on Trixie's lips before she moved to her jaw moving her lips closer to Trixie's ear with each kiss.

"How was it?" Katya asked as she pressed a kiss just below Trixie's ear.

"Awful, terrible, I can't believe my mom's gone." Trixie said sniffling slightly.

Katya pulled back and cupped Trixie's cheeks rubbing her thumbs against Trixie's face.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't be there with you. I really don't like it that you had to go by yourself." Katya pouted to herself as her thumb grazed over Trixie's cheekbone.

"I know baby.. But someone had to take Charlotte to the doctor. How did it go by the way?"

"Oh everything's fine, they didn't even suspect a concussion or anything. She was a real champ and yes therefor we went to the mall and the rest is history as her Barbie collection has expanded once more." Katya chuckled a bit and Trixie joined.

"We really need to tell her to calm down or she'll keep falling from that tree." Trixie said as she turned her head to look out of the kitchen window at the oak tree that was sitting on their backyard.

"Yeah well that's why we call her Monkey am I right?" Katya smiled softly and let her hands fall from Trixie's cheeks. "Speaking of the little devil let's go see what she's up to." 

Trixie hummed in agreement and took Katya's hand letting herself be guided up the stairs. Once they reached their destination opening the door that located at the end of the hallway they pushed it open and both grinned widely. Charlotte had dressed all of her Barbies in their best clothes and lined them up on the floor like they were at a fashion show. Charlotte walked her new Barbie in the middle of the "runway" that was made of a piece of cardboard that she had colored pink and white. 

"Mommy!" Charlotte beamed. "Come see my new doll."

Trixie smiled and let go of Katya's hand walking over to Charlotte sitting by her. 

"Let me see her honey." Trixie said softly receiving the doll carefully from Charlotte's hands. Trixie genuinely examined the doll and it's makeup before she turned it around taking in the pink and blue attire it had on. "Wow she's really pretty." Trixie said and handed the doll back to Charlotte who immediately placed it on the throne she had crafted together with Katya a few weeks ago. 

"Mama come play." Charlotte beamed at Katya who was leaning against the door.

"Coming Monkey." Katya said walking over to her girls taking a seat next to Trixie.

Ever since Charlotte had been able to speak Trixie and Katya had agreed that Katya would be called mama and Trixie mom or mommy or whatever else word Charlotte wanted to use, not to get them mixed up. Katya wanted Charlotte to get her Russian heritage and Trixie wanted that too. About a year after Katya's surgery she had taken Trixie with her and they had went to Russia and patched things with her parents. Katya was grateful of her parents and everything they thad given her during her life and wanted them to be a part of her it. They hadn't fully been okay after their visit across the world but slowly year by year the trust was earned back. Now they were in great terms the past put behind them. They had obviously been at their wedding fiver years ago and they had flown in again a year later when their grandchild had been born.

Trixie had been the one who had carried Charlotte after they had literally flipped a coin over who'd do it since they both wanted to do it but also wanted to be able to spoil the other once fully pregnant. Katya had been the most amazing wife during the whole pregnancy, pampering Trixie every minute of every day, rubbing her feet, making her bubble baths and baking her treats and failing at it but Trixie appreciated the effort of baked goods.

Everything had been perfect ever since the surgery had taken place. The surgery had went as smoothly as a difficult surgery could go and they had been able to remove the whole tumor. Katya had woken up the following day and her recovery during the next six months had gone as it should and she had quickly bounced back to normal, all of her headaches gone now and her depression under control. Six months after that Trixie had gotten down on one knee and proposed to Katya at their favorite restaurant on their two year anniversary date. They were both so happy in that moment that they just left the money on the table and left home in the middle of dinner ravishing each others bodies all through the night.

They had started to plan their wedding the following week but neither of them had the concentration to plan everything to the smallest detail and they couldn't wait to actually be married so they had put on their best clothes and went to city hall. A week later they had held a wedding party at a rented place near the beach where both of their families had joined along with their friends. It was simple but elegant in it's own way and they had had the greatest day. 

After they had both finally graduated from school they had entered work life. Katya owned her own photography studio and Trixie teacher music classes at their nearest elementary school. She loved working with kids and giving them the opportunity to enjoy music from a young age. Katya on the other hand really enjoyed working with older ages, taking pictures for graduations, weddings and other parties. They both were doing something they loved but still something was missing. They had already before talked about getting another cat so Nelson could have company during the days so they had gone to the shelter and walked away from there with two cats since both fell in love with separate cats. Katya had chosen an orange girl beauty that they named Aretha after their favorite British sitcom character from Raised by Wolves. Trixie had fallen in love with a brown, white striped little boy kitten who had been named Willie since one of their favorite songs was Buddy by Willie Nelson so they cleverly matched the two boy cats' names that way. After getting the cats and getting used to their new life as a family of five there was still something missing. After talking about it seriously, planning their future a bit they had agreed to have a baby. That meant they needed to move out of Katya's one bedroom apartment into a proper house where they could start their family life. Since having a baby took a lot more effort than if they were a straigt couple, it took them a few years before Trixie was finally pregnant.

They had lived in this beautiful two story house for approximately four years, neither of them couldn't really remember when they had actually moved in. Their parents had helped them financially with the house so all of their savings wouldn't be spent on it. Trixie's pregnancy had went by smoothly and without any problems. They had no idea what to do with the name so both of them made a list of pretty names for both genders before they found out it was a girl and once they were done they had swapped lists and Charlotte had been on both of their lists. It was a pretty, elegant, still fun and a timeless name and that's why both of them loved it so much.

Some of their friends had had kids also and Dela's child Rosalyn, Rosie for short, was Charlotte's best friend. They had sleepovers almost every other weekend allowing always the other couple to get a date night to themselves. Dela's husband Gus had become a really close friend of them and he acted as a bestman to Katya in their wedding party. They lived only ten minutes away from each other so it was really easy for them to drop off the kids from house to house. This was one of those weekends that Charlotte was allowed to go to Dela's house and have a sleepover with Rosie as long as she did good at the doctors. 

"Mama can I go to Rosie's house today?" Charlotte asked putting her Barbie down and climbing in Katya's lap. 

Katya wrapped her arms around Charlotte giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

"Well did you do good at the doctor today?" Katya asked.

"Yes mama." Charlotte beamed and turned around in Katya's arms standing on her thighs wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

"Did you really?" Katya asked teasing her little girl as she started to tickle her.

"Yes mama I did!" Charlotte scream laughed and it sounded much like one of Trixie's laughs when she was really excited.

Katya kept tickling Charlotte and the girl ruffled Katya's hair to make her stop but it only excited Katya more so she lifted her up over her shoulder standing up and storming out of the room.

"Careful!" Trixie yelled after them before getting up and following them to their bedroom down the hall. Trixie watched as Katya and Charlotte laid down on the bed Katya still tickling her.

"Mommy, help me!" Charlotte screamed while letting out laughs between every word.

Trixie grinned and joined them on the bed grabbing Katya in her own arms tickling her now.

"Hey not fair!" Katya exclaimed as she laughed now.

"Charlotte baby help me tickle mama!" Trixie grinned and Charlotte jumped on Katya's legs taking a seat there and tickled Katya's lower stomach that was exposed as her t-shirt was rising up.

"NO! That's really not fair." Katya fake screamed scared and Charlotte only laughed grinning widely along with her other mother who was holding Katya in her arms tickling her too. Katya managed to move her arms and tickle Charlotte again who loudly giggled at the contact. 

"Mommy no, she's tickling me again!" Charlotte beamed.

"Okay baby, run, I got this." Trixie said as she grabbed Katya's arms away from Charlotte and the little girl bounced off the bed running out of the room.

"Oh you are gonna regret this." Katya hissed playfully as the turned in Trixie's arms tickling her back.

"You're the one who started it!" Trixie said back trying to get a hold of Katya's arms.

They wrested on the bed, tickling each other, laughing, throwing playful threats at each other until Katya gained the upper hand and managed to wrap her strong legs around Trixie's middle keeping her in place. Trixie playfully mimicked waving a white flag and Katya loosened her hold on Trixie just enough for her to grain control again and she flipped them over so she was on top of Katya.

"Oh you weren't done yet.." Katya grinned and tightened her hold of Trixie with her legs again pulling her closer to her middle.

"I'm never done with you, mama." Trixie whispered as she rested her hands on each side go Katya's head before leaning down and kissing her hungrily.

Katya's arms flung around Trixie's shoulders as she allowed herself to be kissed everywhere. Katya was just about to pull Trixie's shirt over her head when Charlotte appeared in both of their views with a backpack on her shoulders.

"I'm ready to go to Rosie's." Charlotte beamed and then looked at her mother's with confusion. "What are you doing?" 

They both chuckled and Katya released her legs freeing Trixie who moved to sit on the edge of the bed fixing her hair slightly.

"We were just wrestling a bit." Trixie said and ruffled Charlotte's head. "You remembered your toothbrush?"

"Yes.." Charlotte said hesitantly and Trixie lifted a brow at her. Charlotte dropped her backpack and ran out of the room again making Trixie and Katya laugh a bit.

"She always forgets." Katya chuckled and soon enough Charlotte returned with her pink toothbrush in her hand.

"Okay you ready to go now? We'll call aunt Dela on the way." Trixie said standing up from the bed going through Charlotte's backpack making sure she had everything with her.

"Yes mommy, let's go." She said taking Trixie's hand.

"Why don't you take her and I'll order us something to eat." Katya said following them downstairs.

"Okay sure." Trixie said. "Charlotte say bye to mama."

Charlotte turned around and jumped in her mother's arms hugging her tightly.

"Bye mama. I love you."

"I love you too milyi. Have a great time." Katya said giving her baby a kiss before putting her down.

"Come on lets ago." Trixie said.

"Wait." Katya said and Trixie stopped in her tracks letting Charlotte already head outside.

"What?"

Katya stepped in pulling Trixie close to her kissing her softly yet deeply. Trixie relaxed in to Katya's touch immediately and wanted to just stay there but Charlotte's voice from outside pulled her back into reality.

"And I'll see you soon, zamantšivyi." Katya whispered against Trixie's lips before she pulled back.

"Jesus you still give me butterflies every day.." Trixie whispered before she walked outside hearing the door close behind her. 

The walk wasn't long, approximately 15 minutes since Charlotte couldn't walk that fast. They kept talking about her new Barbie and what they would do with Rosie once they were reunited after two weeks of not having sleepovers. They were in deep conversation and Trixie had forgotten to call Dela that they were on their way but she knew they were coming so she didn’t think much about it. They reached Dela's house quickly and she opened the door arms open pulling Trixie in for a hug. 

"Hey Trixie." Dela whispered against her shoulder.

"Dela." Trixie breathed out hugging her friend tightly emotions coming to the surface again. Dela knew her mother and she knew that she had passed away a month ago. 

"How are you doing?" She asked as she pulled away.

"I'm okay.. It's tough but I'll be okay." Trixie smiled.

"I know you will, you're so strong." Dela said giving her friend a kiss on the cheek before they were interrupted by a screaming Rosie by their feet.

"Charryyy!" She screamed hugging her best friend.

"Rosieee!" Charlotte screamed back as the two girls bounced up and down.

"Okay okay girls, let's get inside shall we. We have a fort waiting for you with some snacks in it." Dela said smiling down at the children.

"Yayyy!" Both of the girls screamed in unison and they ran inside leaving their mother's laughing. 

"They're so adorable." Dela chuckled.

"They really are. As usual call me if there's anything." Trixie said hugging her friend goodbye.

"You too." Dela said.

"Oh we won't be calling until tomorrow." Trixie said quietly giving her friend a smirk.

"Oh.. Oh! Well you two have fun then. I'll see you later." Dela said waving her friend goodbye before closing the door.

Trixie turned around in her heels walking quickly back to their house, having to remind herself not to run like an idiot down the streets. But she was so excited to spend some alone time with Katya for the first time in a forever so she couldn't help but take a few running steps at the end of her journey back home. She pushed the front door open and kicked off her shoes.

"Katya? Baby?" Trixie called out walking around the house, checking the kitchen and living room before she heard noises upstarts.

"Katya?" Trixie called out again getting an answer this time.

"I'm upstairs." Katya called softly her voice echoing around the silent house. 

Trixie walked to the stairs and wanted to crumble down as she saw Katya in nothing but a short and sheer black robe.

"You were asking for me baby?" Katya asked teasingly as she let her hand travel down her cleavage.

"God, yes.." Trixie breathed out starting to climb up the stairs.

Katya only hummed in amusement as she turned around walking into their bedroom and Trixie hurried behind her running up the rest of the stairs. She entered their bedroom that was dark, only candles all around the room lighting it up just enough so they could still see. Trixie looked at Katya who walked out of the bathroom the robe now open but still on her shoulders. Trixie groaned and took a step forward but Katya stopped her by raising a hand.

"Get on the bed." She said with a sultry voice.

Trixie nodded moving towards the bed not even reaching it yet when Katya spoke again.

"And get naked." 

Trixie groaned and as she walked she pulled her shirt over her head. Once on the bed she pulled down her pants and sat down.

"All of them." Katya motioned toward her.

"Yes mam." Trixie said with a teasing voice and got rid of her bra and underwear. 

"Lay down." Katya said and Trixie did as she was told.

Katya finally walked over to the bed sitting on it. 

"Now touch yourself for me." She said simply the robe hanging loosely on her shoulders allowing Trixie to see her naked body underneath.

Trixie threw her head back and arched her back groaning slightly. She hated this because Katya always teased her until the very end so she was too exhausted to do anything to Katya. But she obeyed because she missed this so much. Trixie moved her hand down her body, reaching her freshly shaved middle where a smooth line of pubes rested. She pushed her fingers past them and ran them between her folds getting wet quickly. She bit her lip as she moved her other hand to her breast giving her nipple a light squeeze. She moaned softly, feeling everything start to slowly build up inside her. She slowed her pace and watched as Katya lifted a perfect brow at her.

"Go faster." She demanded with a soft voice shifting slightly on the bed.

"No." 

"No?"

"No."

Trixie pushed herself to sit up a bit as Katya moved to her knees crawling over to her.

"You're really not gonna touch yourself anymore?" Katya whispered as she reached Trixie's face.

"No I'm not." Trixie said smirking a bit knowing Katya wasn't pleased but she knew her well enough that this would turn her on even more.

"Well then I guess I'm gonna have to do it for you then." Katya whispered as she slammed her lips on Trixie's and her hand covered Trixie's middle rubbing the tip off her finger against Trixie's clit. 

Trixie yelped a bit but she quickly got into it allowing Katya to work her fingers against her wetness. Trixie moaned under Katya getting more build up by the minute but she didn't want to come without Katya. Trixie propped herself on her arms and Katya raised a brow at her but didn't say anything. Trixie sat up fully pulling Katya between her legs opening them fully and running her fingers against Katya's middle. Katya moaned quietly and bit her lip before she focused back on Trixie and kissed her deeply. Both of their hands worked against each others wetness as they kissed each other their other hands busy doing other things. Trixie had catched up to Katya well because she could feel how Katya clenched under her touch.

"Fuck Trixie..." Katya breathed out heavily against Trixie's neck where she had been sucking her skin. "I'm gonna come real soon."

"God that's hot.." Trixie breathed out too between her moans. "Me too baby, me too."

They continued to pleasure each other Katya's other hand grabbing Trixie's and making her hand move faster against her. 

"God.. I need.. I-" Katya moaned loudly.

"Tell me. What do you need baby?" Trixie breathed against Katya's cheek where she had been kissing her.

"More.. More pressure." Katya managed to breathe out and Trixie knew what needed to be done.

In one swift movement Trixie pushed Katya down to lay on her back and she placed herself between Katya's legs grinding their middles together. 

"Oh God yes!" Katya moaned breathlessly.

Trixie grabbed one of Katya's legs bringing it up, supporting herself against it as she felt her body shake. Katya moaned and threw her head back watching Trixie grind against her, her big full breasts bouncing along.

"God Trixie.." Katya moaned once last time before Trixie grinded against her as fast as she could both of them coming at the same time.

Trixie fell forward catching herself with her hands. She slowly rolled her hips against Katya's a few times riding both of their orgasms off. She let herself fall next to Katya their sweaty bodies sticking together immediately. Before Trixie could catch her breath Katya's lips were on hers and she moaned cupping one of Katya's cheeks. 

"You are amazing." Katya whispered against her lips between kisses.

"So are you." Trixie whispered back.

"You should really top more." Katya said as she pulled back pushing one of Trixie's hairs behind her ear.

"Well you should really let me. You dom top." Trixie grinned before kissing Katya once last time.

Katya broke out into a wheeze resting her head against Trixie's chest.

"Well I can't help it." Katya chuckled trying to calm herself down.

"I know baby." Trixie whispered against her hair and closed her eyes as she felt Katya place soft kisses between her breasts.

"I drew us a bath. The temperature should be fine now." Katya murmured against Trixie's skin.

"And what about dinner?" Trixie asked softly as her fingers ran along Katya's hair pulling her closer to her skin.

"Mmh I preordered Chinese.." Katya said lifting her head up now. "It should be here in two hours so we still have a lot of time to do whatever." Katya smirked running her hand along Trixie's side, her fingers making circles on her hip.

Trixie chuckled and pushed herself up a bit. 

"How about we take that bath first." She said softly and stood up pulling Katya with her.

They settled down into the tub Katya going in first and Trixie settling herself between her legs her head resting against Katya's shoulder. The bathroom was dark as well only candles gracing them soft light. Katya ran the warm bubble water against Trixie's arms while she pressed kisses on her head. Trixie sighed deeply closing her eyes letting herself relax in the water.

"You okay babe?" Katya asked tilting her head to the side trying to see Trixie's face.

"Perfect." Trixie hummed and turned her head to look at Katya.

"Good." 

"How about you?" Trixie asked letting her tilted head rest on Katya's chest.

"I'm.. I- I don't know actually." Katya stammered, and Trixie turned fully in her arms resting on her legs the water lowering a bit.

"What.. what do you mean?" Trixie asked cupping Katya's cheek.

"I'm so incredibly happy. I'm so happy with you Trixie and our life that we have." Katya spoke and Trixie smiled a bit but she sensed a "but" coming.

"But?" Trixie asked, not daring to wait.

"But.. I'm feeling awfully a lot like I felt five years ago.." Katya said looking up at Trixie.

It took her a moment to connect the dots and Trixie smiled a bit. 

"You wanna have another kid?" Trixie asked biting her lips together preventing herself from smiling too widely.

Katya nodded her head rapidly. "Yeah, I wanna have another kid." Katya smiled widely.

Trixie let out a small chuckle before she leaned in kissing Katya softly. After they showered each other with soft kisses for a few minutes they pulled back.

"So another baby huh?" Trixie asked raising her brows a bit.

"Mmh. I want Charlotte to have a little brother or a sister. And I want to be pregnant once too." Katya chuckled and Trixie joined her, laughing.

"What?" Katya asked.

"Oh nothing.. I'm just imagining you full on preggo." Trixie joked before she received a small splash of water.

"Hey I'm gonna be extremely adorable." Katya said with a grin on her own face. 

"Sure you are." Trixie teased before kissing Katya.

* * *

"Trixie!!!! I fucking can't do this!" Katya screamed.

"Yes you can! Just one more push." Trixie coached her wife who was squeezing her hand.

"God you've been saying that for the past ten minutes!!" Katya roared and the nurses actually looked a bit scared but Trixie had to bite her lip preventing herself from laughing.

"I know it sucks and it's awful but think about it. We're gonna meet our baby boy real soon. Do it for him." Trixie spoke softly against Katya's forehead before pressing a soft kiss on it.

Katya roared and pushed once more her whole body feeling like it was giving out on her.

"That's it, that's it. I see a head. Shoulders. Arms. Legs. And he's out." The nurse exclaimed and Katya let out a final groan breathing heavily as she rested her head against the pillow.

"You did it. I'm so proud of you honey!" Trixie beamed kissing Katya's sweaty lips.

One of the nurses walked over to them handing Katya the small crying bundle.

"Congratulations." She said smiling and Trixie thanked her and they left the room giving them privacy.

Katya swayed the small bundle in her arms, finally getting the baby boy to calm down.

"I know we haven't had time to talk about names but I have a few names in my mind.." Trixie spoke softly.

"Me too." Katya said looking up at Trixie. "Who are the two most important boys in our lives?" Katya asked.

Trixie smiled widely as she had thought the exactly same thing.

"Brian and Gus." She spoke and watched as Katya smiled widely nodding her head.

"Brian Gustav Zamolodchikova Mattel." Katya breathed out looking at the baby in her arms.

"Hey Brian..'" Trixie spoke softly running her thumb softly along his forehead the baby letting out small sounds.

Trixie turned her attention to Katya kissing her softly.

"I love you so much." 

"I love you too Trixie."

The next day when they were able to go home they drove by Dela's place picking up Charlotte who had spent the night there. Trixie was driving and Katya sat in the backseat with Charlotte and Brian who was in his blue carseat.

"Charlotte this is your baby brother Brian." Katya spoke softly.

"Brian!" Charlotte beamed quietly already knowing she couldn't be so loud around a baby.

"Yes Brian." Katya spoke softly watching Charlotte stare at her brother with wide eyes.

"Like uncle Brian?" She finally asked. 

"Exactly." Trixie said from the front seat as she pulled into their driveway.

"Wow." Charlotte said mesmerized and Katya chuckled a bit. 

All of them got out of the car, Trixie carrying Brian in his seat. Katya opened the door and laughed a bit as all three of the cats were sitting there waiting for them to come home. Charlotte walked right over to the cats petting each one before she picked up Aretha and brought her to Brian who Trixie had placed on the ground now. Charlotte introduced all of the cats to Brian one by one and Trixie couldn't help but smile. She closed the door and stood by Katya wrapping her arm around her kissing her softly, before pulling back. She looked at the sight in front of her and she couldn't believe that during these past ten years she had gotten everything she had ever dreamed of. 


End file.
